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[Sports Pickle]What Your Favorite NFL Teams Says About You

Discussion in 'Football: NFL, College, High School' started by zeeshan2, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. zeeshan2

    zeeshan2 Member

    Feb 20, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Houston Texans: You can’t believe it was just months ago that you thought this team could win it all. What a fool you were! A fool! You’re still struggling to come to terms with the fact that you don’t know anything about anything. Life is a terrifying mystery. You are lost and alone.

    Cleveland Browns: You wish the Colts would eagerly trade for all the rest of your many terrible players, coaches and executives.

    Jacksonville Jaguars: You think a creative idea for a uniform would be any type of fabric covering good football players.

    Oakland Raiders: All of the losing has discouraged you to the point that sometimes you don’t even have the energy anymore to mercilessly attack and bludgeon fans of other teams.

    Buffalo Bills: You totally did NOT roll around crying on the floor while watching Marshawn Lynch win a Super Bowl, no matter what anyone at your Super Bowl party says, okay?

    Tennessee Titans: You wish Jake Locker could stay healthy for a full season so you could determine if he’s a bust or just disappointing.

    New York Jets: You hope the quality of quarterbacks in the 2017 Draft is good for when the Jets eventually give up on Geno Smith.

    Pittsburgh Steelers: You think all Super Bowl broadcasts should have a scroll running at the bottom of the screen throughout the game that says: “The Steelers have won six Super Bowls, which is the most of any team, and the winner of this year’s game will have a long way to go to ever catch them. All hail the Steelers … .”

    Miami Dolphins: You wish people would stop bullying you by saying mean things like: “Haha. The Dolphins suck and haven’t been relevant in decades.”

    Baltimore Ravens: You’re not exactly sure why Joe Flacco decided to revert to being a mediocre quarterback, but you won’t give up on him because Eli Manning won a second Super Bowl somehow.

    San Diego Chargers: You’d happily be a surrogate for Philip Rivers so he could exponentially expand his family if he’d just win a Super Bowl.

    Kansas City Chiefs: Getting a coach who can get a team to the playoffs seemed like a great idea a year ago. But now you’re more keen on the idea of a coach who can win in the playoffs, too.

    Indianapolis Colts: You are certain the Seahawks couldn’t have won the Super Bowl, because Andrew Luck was supposed to be the first quarterback from the 2012 Draft class to win the Super Bowl.

    Cincinnati Bengals: You think if Andy Dalton can just cut down on the Andy Dalton-like plays, this team has a real shot.

    New England Patriots: You’re sick of know-nothing, hater idiots who say that dynasties have to win championships more recently than the first term of the George W. Bush administration.

    Denver Broncos: You had convinced yourself that Peyton Manning falling apart in the postseason was just a baseless media “narrative.” What a fool you were! A fool! You’re still struggling to come to terms with the fact that you don’t know anything about anything. Life is a terrifying mystery. You are lost and alone.


    Washington Redskins: You are starting to realize that your team name will eventually be changed, if for no other reason than that Robert Griffin III will likely make Dan Snyder change it to the Washington RG3s.

    Tampa Bay Buccaneers: You hope the team will start winning again to the point that you feel kind of bad about not going to any of their games.

    Atlanta Falcons: You think the Falcons just aren’t tough enough. In fact, you thought about this a lot after you pulled your car off to the side of the road because of 2 inches of snow.

    Minnesota Vikings: You’re hopeful that the new Vikings stadium will at least give incomplete passes a refreshing new look.

    St. Louis Rams: You think Sam Bradford might be able to stay healthy if he was converted into a pitcher for the Cardinals.

    Detroit Lions: You worry that Ford, Chrysler and GM cars all have better microprocessors than what Jim Caldwell is outfitted with.

    New York Giants: You thought you were stuck with crap Manning again until you watched the Super Bowl. Now you’re not so sure.

    Dallas Cowboys: You don’t understand why people call you a front-running bandwagon fan. Only a true fan would stick by a team this horrible.

    Chicago Bears: You hope Jay Cutler’s lit cigarette will accidentally burn up his contract.

    Arizona Cardinals: You would welcome realignment that put your team back in the NFC East.

    Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers is gay in all of your dreams.

    Philadelphia Eagles: You think Nick Foles is the greatest quarterback in the history of football since Mike Vick had that string of good games a few years ago.

    New Orleans Saints: You think New Orleans is the best Super Bowl host city. You also think it would be great if every round of the playoffs was hosted in New Orleans.

    San Francisco 49ers: You thought you were an accepting, progressive, live-and-let-live kind of person who loved everyone. Until Richard Sherman spoke loudly after a football game.

    Carolina Panthers: You wish Carolina’s offense had as much creativity as Cam Newton’s shoes.

    Seattle Seahawks: When people accuse you of being a bandwagon fan who only became a Seahawks “diehard” in the last few years, you just yell until you can’t hear what they’re saying.

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