Spanking?

I'm not a parent but what about a little starvation as punishment. Or if that's too cruel, make dinner with only veggies and bite into to a nice big fat stake infront of them?

 

However, punishment does teach the child some important lessons of the real world. In the real world, there are punishments and consequences. If one does not learn that important lesson, I personally believe that they will have very little regard for rules (in school and at home) and laws (in the real world).

Education is definitely the primary mechanism for behavior modification, but at some point, you must teach the lesson of consequences.

 

I think Buddhists understand well the concept of cause and effect.

 

How many kids do you have?

 

from my perspective, that comment you posted would speak to the contrary.

in addition, i would disagree wholly that degradation is a necessary component of corporal punishment. i was spanked by my parents, but never got a feeling that they were degrading me, or treating me as less than human. i was merely their son...and they my parents. there is clearly a hierarchy involved there...a position of control that a parent exerts, whether they spank...or remove toys...or whatever. the opposite is zero discipline at all. is that what you're advocating?

i also was a peaceful child...i didn't seek to punish others because my parents punished me for what i did wrong. there is no cycle of violence raging through my family. again...is this a call for no discipline at all? for no punishment at all, corporal or otherwise? it seems to be as it reads in this comment.

 

I used to think the same until I have to deal with a real child.

 

My point exactly. People without kids will never understand. I dont care if you are a teacher, I dont care if you have neices and nephews, I dont care if you think you raised your siblings. Have your own kids 24/7 and then re-read that crap. Trust me, you will find it funny.

 

Maybe so, maybe not.
My daughter has many things but she does not care if I take them away.

She likes to read the most. Whenever she is sent to her room, she only asks to have her books. She also likes the activities I do with her or classes I send her to. Ballet, swimming, soccer, biking ... I can take some of that away but it's just too cruel or impractical to cut them off completely because of the commitment to the school or club ...
(She wishes I would cut off the piano lessons on the other hand )

If I take away what she does not care for, my teaching does not have any effect.
If I take away what she really wants, she goes ballistic and the situation gets worse.

 

Parents with well-behaved kids who never give them problems do not understand either. Some of my friends told me they never have to punish their children. They would just tell the kids what to do and they listen. At worst, they only have to explain what is wrong or right and bingo, it works! .... right!

Others still, said they raised their hand once and afterward they never have to do so again. Sound wonderful but not so for my case.

 

Me either. I kids are pretty strong willed. Every kid is definitely different.

 

And that can be true even within the same family. My ex-wife's sister's kids are like that. Growing up, one kid was nearly perfectly behaved. One was a terror and the other was in-between. They had to have different approaches to each of them.

 

I agree 100%...We were in Best Buy yesterday and the kids were yelling and screaming and I just said, ok, let's go, no one get anything and they cried and screamed all the way out, but I'm not going to reward this kind of behavior...Anyways, I explained to my kids we they weren't getting anything and they understood, but don't really think they get it, but that is for another day...

 

Good for you. You are the kind of parent that the rest of us respect.

 

My mom used to make me go pick my own switch. Ain't nothin' grand about that. I'm ok with spanking but no paddles or crap like that. Too much force for no reason.

I was a big advocate of spanking early on but was always determined not to overdo it in terms of force used. I found that selective use is most effective: a swat on the back of the leg, for instance, doesn't have to be hard enough to bruise to remind the child who tells who what to do. The main thing in the tantrum episodes is to keep your calm and as others have suggested, remove your child from the (insert here - store or whatever).

Certainly spanking is violence, but so is yelling...

 

I got spanked with a hand and a wooden spoon. My mom would tell me "I'm only doing this because I love you". Trust me, I needed it.

I think the key is that you need to raise your kids to respect authority. Some kids may not need to be spanked, but I suspect more kids need to be spanked than are spanked.