Something that has always bugged me about women...

OK. It's all my fault. DallasThomas started this whole string because of me. Blame it on me, guys. But what Mrs JB said is so true. I got into Feng Shui about a year ago, and although I havent been able to employ all of the tactics, the one place I do use it is in the bathroom. I occupy the bathroom that I have to let all the guests use, and it just makes the bathroom look so much nicer than when Dallas leaves the seat up (By the way, Dallas is a guest at my house). And when I'm a guest at his house, I actually put the seat back up! My rule on this issue is to leave the seat how you found it. That way the seat is the way the owner would probably want it, and there is no argument.

 

Pee in the shower........................problem solved!

 

I've mastered the art of pooing while standing so it's 50/50 in my case.

 

rotfl.

either that or...

TD, it's ironic that you mention taking a piss and drinking in the same thread. is it possible that after arriving home from a bar buying drinks for you and your lady friend that you have the hardest time with lifting the toilet seat? if so, you have three additional options other than moballs suggestion (which was a good one at that):

1. quit drinking as much (i can drink all i want. i don't have to deal with women at home OR buying drinks for the ladies).

2. concentrate and aim better.

3. take a leak in the sink, man. everybody does it... don't they?



EDIT: by the way, lilpun... how in the hell can you poop standing up? hmmmm...

 

My wife and I had this argument once (and only once)... here was my statement (and the end of the conversation):

"If you drop your pants, turn around, and sit your bare ass down on something - anything - without even looking at it first, then you deserve whatever you get!"

Women seem to forget that men sit on the toilet, too. But, then, why don't we complain about the seat? Because we actually check it out first to make sure it's ready to receive our butts.

-- droxford

 

Come on, I can't be the only person with good enough aim to never have to raise it.

It's not difficult, guys.

 

Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man.

Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny.

My... my wi-, my wife? Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm ****ing married? The toilet seat's up, man!

 

i just game back from the restroom, so i have to correct myself and you, antisonic.

just because you have perfect aim doesn't mean that little droplets of toilet water don't splash back up from the inside of the toilet and land on the seat.

mulder, i agree. need i bring back my stereotype thread?

EDIT: oops. just noticed the "mulder" part belonged in another thread.

 

I always raise it because sometimes pee will squirt to the side or in two different direction. I have superior aim but when stuff like that happens it messes everything up. I grew up with three women also and now live with two so I have always been used to putting the lid down every time.

 

Genital herpes and genital warts are incurable. Your stuck with them for life.

That and hepitis C. Those were around back then.

 

We leave the lid down to control "toilet vapors from floating around the bathroom when you flush"...

But what really bugs me about women is that tape recorder they have in their heads that remembers EVERY FREAKING WORD YOU EVER SAID IN ANY PAST ARGUMENT, DEBATE, OR DISCUSSION. I've been married 17 years in October and my wife can still recite the tiniest details of something I said 15 years ago and turn that against me. Ugh! She can tell me time of day I said it, where I was, and what I was wearing when I said it.


Let it go!


(Honey, when you read this...and I know you will...., this post was over dramaticized for humorous value only!)

 

Back then when??
Not during the time period I'm talking about. At least I never met anyone who got either one from someone else... much less myself. As far as Hepititis C, I don't know anyone who aquired it back then from sex... maybe from needles (which I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole), but not from sex.

What can I tell you? I'm not saying those things might not have been around, but during the mid-late '60's and early-mid '70's it just didn't appear on any radar screen I ever saw, read about, met someone who had it, much less experienced myself.

And my friends, acquaintances, "strangers in the night" here and in Europe were very, VERY active. And I'm not saying that to try and "toot my own horn"... it's just how things were back then if you were part of the so-called "counter-culture".

Perhaps the large number of people I knew and hung out with back thing were just lucky. It just wasn't my experience.


If you can just get your,... mind together
then come on across to me
We'll hold hands an' then we'll watch the sun rise
.....from the bottom of the sea
But first

Are You Experienced?
Ah! Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

I know, I know
you'll probably scream n' cry
That your little world won't let go!
But who in your measly little world are trying to prove that
You're made out of gold and -a can't be sold

So-uh, Are You Experienced?
Ah! Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

Ah, let me prove it to you,..........

Trumpets and violins like up here in the distance
I think they're calling our names
Maybe now you can't hear them, but you will ha
if you just, take hold of my hand

oh! But Are You Experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?

Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful

 

Guys...Don't be lazy...Pick it up and put it down...

 

and what about the lid??....damnit pee in the tub

 

There's probably a lot of truth in that.

A lot of us choose to open the valve between brain and mouth - or to think about it briefly and decide "oh well, I'd rather just say it anyway" - because we'd rather things be open. We don't like to always wonder where things stand and what people are thinking. We decide to get things started by telling them what we are thinking.

I tell my husband that "I don't mean to hurt you, I'm just trying to get it out in the open. You can do the same to me." (of course, he would have to risk how I would take it if he said something mean to me. And I probably would be mad, though I'd get over it sooner or later when I got tired of being lonely and patched things up with him. )

I know y'all aren't thinking the things we would like to believe. Those who say they do are usually lying (and they pick up chicks quite well that way - though I'm not recommending this, as you can't keep it up forever). It's just one of those Mars/Venus things.

But this doesn't mean y'all can't try to communicate a little better, and leave the lid down.

 

Guys, every time after you pee, you should wipe off the splash on the brim of the toilet bowl with 2 sections of the toilet papers, and then gently put down the seat and the lid while you flush. Your mother should teach you that the moment you were weaned from diapers.

About the fung shui thing, now I know why my mom always had more energy then my dad.

 

I don't know, man. It's gotta be down there somewhere. Let me take another look.

 

Are You Experienced?
Ah! Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have




I've got my air guitar out and I'm ready to play

 

sharing a bathroom with your woman is a mistake, if you can avoid it. I favor separate and not necessarily equal facilities. guys need a toilet, a bath/shower, a sink and a mirror. About 40 square feet. Women need twice that. They've got hair and make up stuff, women's hygiene items. 7 different kinds of hand lotion. things that have to be hung on the shower rod.

for god's sake, just give the ladies the big bathroom, take the little one, and make it your Al Bundy library and study.