<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CmrOB_q3tjo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
If I were in your position, I would really look forward to college. Look at it as a fresh start, no one that made fun of you will be there, and even if some of them are, college is so big that you will never see them if you don't want to. Work on your confidence. Do whatever it takes, whether it means buying new clothes, getting a new haircut etc. Confidence goes a long way and will make you less shy in life. And remember, the first 2 weeks in college are PRIME times to meet new people. Basically EVERYONE is looking to make friends. It'll get progressively less easy (though not hard by any means) as the year goes on and people have settled in. I used to be really shy when I was in grade school but gradually worked it up starting sophomore-senior year in HS. Now that I'm in college, I don't consider myself a shy person anymore. Not saying I'm some mega charismatic person but I am certainly not shy.
Going to college gives you a pretty good place to reinvent yourself, I suggest you take advantage of that
dude, don't feel sorry. You are a human being and an individual that doesn't have to cower or feel anxious because of others. Its ABOUT YOU. Forget everyone else. Don't feel alone, many people go through this kind of thing, the biggest thing they forget is that THEY ARE IMPORTANT. You do exist. People do want to befriend you. Its just a sad thing you got off on the wrong foot because your whole perception is distorted, and you go about things with a preconceived negative notion in your head, seeing someone and thinking, "What do I have to do to prove myself to this person." "They already don't like me." It couldn't be fruther from the truth. You know how I know this, because I went through a phase such as this early on in highschool. And that is the problem with schools these days, they totally build this entire illusion of a world in which only certain cliques prevail. Once you get to the real world you will realize nobody gives a **** about your looks , your talking style, and your background, or most people won't. We are all human beings and wanting to conform with society and others is a priority. We LIKE to talk to people. But sometimes we forget that other people feel the same way. PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE AS I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE SAME. I made the mistake of waiting too long when I could have gotten help early addolescent years. Go see a psych, its nothing to be ashamed of. I've been on medication for years and years, and even though people bull**** about that not being the right way my bipolar tendencies would be so taxing on my physical and mental health I lost weight and everything. On top of that TALK to a therapist and cognitive behavioral therapy works GREAT. I became myself, again in a year, the mask that had glued itself on my face seemed to have disappeared and I felt normal. My greatest sympathy isn't directed towards your situation, just that you haven't gotten help yet because just like me, you think that nothing can change that. Good luck, and please feel free to ask any questions. Don't ever feel worthless or that you don't need to live anymore. Take care friend.
I'm sorry but this is pretty ignorant. If you can imagine being trapped in awall and feel as bad as some people do, getting help can be the hardest thing. Living a life of misery is no way to be living a life at all. Its a waste of the greatest gift and missed oppertunities. I don't think he was whining , he as genuinely asking for help. And a proffessional is where he needs to go, its just there is a big stigma in our society when it comes o behavioral problems.
I just want to point out that the whole college thing should be taken slowly. I'm personally not much of a active person when it comes to finding new friends. So my college friends came along gradually, rather than the whole "1st two weeks" thing some are talking about here. Since you don't seem to be the aggressive type, just take things slowly. Perhaps first just get to know your roommate and meet some of his friends and such. But I do want to reiterate that having a different environment helps a lot. This doesn't even have to be about being shy or finding friends. Sometimes we all need a fresh start, whether it be finding a new job, moving out of the house, or whatever. Also, do you really want a big social life? I'm generally a loner myself. I go to social events or meet up with friends more as a change of pace rather than having it dominate my life. I rarely get the urge to just go hang out with people for the sake of it. I don't have a problem with my lifestyle, even though my friends generally prefer to be more active(we're all in our 20s). Really, sometimes just because others do certain things doesn't mean you have to as well.
Bingo, I can't emphasize this enough. Kind of like you felt the need to say this stuff to us. Now try saying this to a real person. Get it out. Its the first obstacle and it will help you.
Watch this video. <iframe width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OSYtQy9EqTA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
music will help you man this song is inspirational <iframe width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/TdJbMt2Mocg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
People used to make fun of my voice all the time. I'm still quiet cuz of that. Had the same issue of just not speaking, because every utterance of sound coming out the vocal chords was exposing myself to ridicule, an opening for people to crack an insult. Learned later that some people really actually thought they were trying to LOOSEN things up, cuz they thought I was too "uptight". There's probably a couple REALLY bad examples of hecklers that have agitated the most. SCREW 'em, they're losers. I'm sure there's others who actually DO have a heart, but them trying to get close and show sincere understanding is probably too "intimate" for them. Not that unexpected for a bunch of immature 18 year olds. I say just move on, BLAME THEM, NOT YOURSELF. Shoot a middle finger to high school. Find a job and make some MONEY if the lack of English isnt a hindrance. Find some productive activities like that to occupy your time. Then ONCE you see a bunch of new hot chicks on college campus that you've never seen before, high school QUICKLY gets forgotten about. No one wears their high school letter jackets after high school. Its just a stupid TEMPORARY OVERRATED time. You'll be alright.
High school in america is FULL of kids just as insecure as you, and thusly they seek to be socially isolating as to protect themselves from the same fear of exclusion. Practice your english, don't worry about your accent, just practice the language. If you display a willingness to try and as solid a grasp of English as you have displayed when typing, Americans will respect that. Kids, not so much, but they aren't going to college like you. Take pride in that. YOU are moving ahead of them. Where are you from? Depending on where you go, many colleges have large asian communities and sometimes they hang out exclusively with one another, probably speaking their native language and helping one another with common problems. Again, you speak English well enough to live in America. I can tell this by reading what you wrote. Most Americans speak far from perfect English. You don't need to worry about having an accent, just communicating. Practice by posting and reading on here, and keep your head up. You have your whole life ahead of you. You are too young to be suicidal. Seriously, please see a counselor. It is not an admission of guilt, or a personal flaw, just that you are buying a professional listener. It sounds like you are very proud, and that struggling here is frustrating your pride. That is a good trait. Shape it into a force in your life that motivates you. Onward and Upward.
Dude, you're in high school.... You're not going thru anything a million other kids aren't going through right now. The sooner you realize that your problems are not only not unique but quite typical the sooner you can brush your shoulders off get at it.
the university atmosphere is more accepting of all folks, it seemed to me. just remember, while you are busy wondering what people think of you, THEY ARE WONDERING WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM TOO!!! that's what people do.
damn..I'm actually pursuing a CS degree, since it doesn't require much communication compares to other fields. With regard to the dress/hairstyle, I don't have much clothes since I never asked my dad to get anything for me and we are poor financially. Though I do wax my hair sometime when my hair is short, I wouldn't care much when it is long. I usually get a haircut every 3 months. You guys might ask me to get a job, it was really hard for me to go to the store and drop off my resume in person. However, I actually tried and got an interview from a restaurant one time, nonetheless I was way too passive with lack of confidence during the interview. I was not hired as I expected. Maybe I shall try again? But I have to cook everyday with other household duties awaiting me. I'm actually in Canada and I'm Chinese, the university (UWaterloo) I will be going have tons asian, especially in Math/Engineeing faculty. I really look forward to the university life, hopefully I would be more social and participate the extracurricular activities around campus. As you guys mentioned about getting a counselor, I seriously doubt it would help much. Teachers from my highschool approched me several times because my paper was depressing and suicidal. They sent me to the social worker and she called my dad about my situation. We have had several meeting between me, my dad and the social worker. Believe me, I'm still afraid of talking to my dad. Though I did feel better when I was alone talking to her about that I never seen my mom for almost 6 years and the rough circumstance at home, including the b*tch keeps blaming me for the things I didn't do. It was nice to get things out instead of just keep it to myself. thadeus was right, my biggest problem is that I thinks too much rather than start doing something that would actually help to improve my life. The yearbook would probably not be blank if I ask people to sign it, though all they would write is to "have a great summer and good luck in university blah blah blah" since they don't know me well. Really appreciated for your guys' reponses, I always tell myself that I would never walk alone...but sometimes life really let me down.
I really empathize with your situation because believe it or not it's something a lot us have gone through in our lives at some point. There's some great advice here already. I definitely recommend engaging in some regular physical activitiy of some sort whether it's playing ball or working out, jogging, whatever. How you feel physically and your physical appearance can have a lot to do with your confidence level. Being active can give you a sense of your potential as a human being. Especially when you notice your performance in a certain activity or your strength/quickness reaches levels you hadn't thought you could reach. Any achievement in that sense really generates a lasting, genuine confidence. A lot more effective than external, superficial things that people sometimes use to fill voids in their lives. In truth, at your age you don't know as much about life and people as you think you do. There is so much you will experience and learn from as you mature that it will blow your mind one day when you look back and think about how little you really knew as a younger person. If you can imagine how much more you know about life than a five year old. Think of what you'll have experienced when you turn 30 and 40 and so on. Having said that, if there are things about yourself that you don't like then you have to be proactive in changing them. Although life can be very complex, your happiness is up to you and that part is very straightforward. It can sound very corny I suppose, but you and I and everyone here are fundamentally the same. Despite whatever our physical differences might be, despite whether we're wealthy or not, popular or not, speak well or not, etc. we all share the same spirit of life. We all want to be happy and be loved and be safe and be successful in what we do and so on. If you can truly embrace that concept you can sense the spirit in others that you have in yourself. You can feel comfortable around any person, regardless of who they are or what they look like or their status. We all share so many things on a basic level but we tend to focus on the comparatively few differences between us that we create this barrier to protect ourselves. It is one of those things about life that is incredibly simple and complex at the same time. So engage people, be active, live your life, and try to experience as much as possible. Be proactive in trying to change what you don't like about yourself. Ask for help if you need it. There are an incredible number of opportunities available to you on a college campus. Join an organization or a club, engage your professors, get a roommate, immerse yourself. You're going to fail a lot in life, everybody does. You cannot let that fear stop you from being happy.
