.....and now I have screwed it up. I was locked up in the Harris County dual diagnosis unit.....and I was sober for the longest time I have been as an adult. So ClutchFans I hope I can start over today.
No need to get down. It's a little like Jerry described breaking up in Sienfeld. It's like trying to knock over a fridge; you can't do it all at once, you've got to rock it back and forth a few times. Don't do it alone. Like most things you'll be more successful with others to support and keep you honest. Keep your head up!
You can. It's not about the past or what you have achieved. It's about what you can and will achieve.
You can do it, man. Every road, and I mean every road, has bumps. You know where you want to get, and you'll do it if you just keep trying. Seriously.
I've had several friends struggling with this kind of thing (who are now 100% sober) and - to a man - they've all had setbacks while trying to get to where they want to go. This is all part of the process. Just keep moving forward. If it was easy, everyone would be sober. If it was impossible, no one would be sober. Neither is the case. Good luck.
at least you can start over today. if you need someone to talk w/about this, give me a holler through the board and i'll shoot you my number. i have a recommendation of a good meeting over there in houston tonight or one that i'll be attending here in galveston.
I had to cut back on drinking, fatty foods and sweets. It's not easy when those things start to seem like they're everywhere. You can battle a hundred no's a day, but that one yes on a random day will cut you deep. So it's a lot more helpful when people are on your side keeping your spirits up and holding you accountable while not smothering you. You might not feel like it right now, but it's achievable and people have done it. Everyone knows humans are imperfect except we demand perfection or total control over ourselves. That's not how life really is though. It's about the individual steps rather than the entire picture. Now that you've reached a record with 50, it's all about how you got there in the first place. Day 1...Day 2...Day 3. And don't forget to reward yourself when you meet your short term goals. I wish you luck MM, and I hope you have or will find a support group that helps smooth out some edges during recovery.
In the good news category, some of my lifestyle changes appear to have dropped my cholesterol out of the dangerous level and I have had my liver tested and thus far my doctor says I am lucky that my liver is strong and so far shows no signs of damage. I am taking a quite low dose of Zoloft and haven't noticed much difference, but I am told it takes some weeks to take full effect and is more noticeable to those around you.
That's just the tip of the iceberg. Your mind will clear, your memory will improve and you will be capable of much deeper thinking. Old friends will comment how healthy you look even if you haven't lost a pound. Smaller things will give you a nice bump of endorphins. Your digestive process will improve. And that's just a few things that changed for me physically after a few months of no alcohol. Its all downhill.
