Lynus302, only read your openning post, so far...but here goes: I was pretty bored doing my Army stint in Killeen, TX. But I was very young, and had no real exciting past to get me swimming in the head about what I'm missing. I'd get one 3-day weekend per month (usually) and go to Houston. That's all I needed. So, I think the difference between me and you is the age of when I was living a boring life vs you. You're probably being too hard on yourself for knowing what you're missing and can't sustain the "I'm doing this for my future" plan as easily as others. Hey, I'm living in a motel right now waiting for a condo to be built. What was supposed to be just 3-months of hell is turning into 6 mos, since the developers are running late. Hell, I can't upgrade my cable...can't get reliable internet speed,,,and have a freaking double bed. How am I supposed to impress girls with that. Luckily, white-trashing it for awhile can be sexy in a curious way to some girls...as long as they have a light at the end of the tunnel. see..! of course, all that means nothing to you without the freak. but...that's really what's going on here, probably. Don't be so hard on yourself. Lynus302 will be B A C K !!! Stronger, sexier, wiser, hungrier and better than ever!
Dude, it's just my personal preference. If you say it's cool than it's cool for you. For me ... not cool!
When you say they don't "do anything", what kind of stuff are you looking forward to doing? You say you have been to a few house functions and no one "does anything", so what exactly did they do at the house functions? Just sit around looking at each other or talking? It sound like you may be the type that likes to be out with folks, or out at places....as opposed to a homebody that likes to do game or movie nights, or other things around the house. That's what confuses me. I'm trying to figure out if no one does nothing...or if folks just do homebody stuff and you don't like that. And I refuse to believe that if there is like 90% women there...that you can't find one (or a few) to get busy with. Especially if you are one of the few guys and it's a high stress environment. You should be getting your fill and then some. Good luck man!!!! Edit: I just read the rest of the thread and realized that you have super long hair and that you are 33. There isn't anything wrong with either of those!! However, I think it may be contributing to your problems. Unless most of the folks in your program are older, then you are the old guy to them. There is nothing wrong with being 33. But young college chicks don't really want to hang with a 33 yr old dude, unless he is paid or just has mad game. Typically paid though.... If Lawton is a military town, then I'm gonna assume it's a pretty conservative place. If that's the case, then a man with hair down to his butt might not get the same responses as one with a traditional haircut. Again, I'm not saying long hair is bad....but some folks are very judgemental before they even say a word to you. That's why you didn't see me, a black guy from 3rd Ward, rocking a South Side fade in college...even though it was cool in my hood.
sounds like you just got married dude. i feel for you bro. the gym is the best advice i've heard. work on yourself while you're there, you'll be there for a little longer i assume.
I appreciate all the responses. The supportive ones from people who bothered to read what I wrote, at least. I didn't expect so much in a ranting/venting thread. Oh, I know it'll be worth it. And I'll keep fighting the good fight, to be sure. Thanks man. It's really not about the freak. The last thing I need are strings and/or drama. I'm just....sociable by nature. Not that a freak wouldn't be nice.... I've mentioned hanging with the seniors. Those are the functions I've been too. Their class is fine....it's mine that's the problem....even the seniors and faculty are asking about it. My whole deal is equal parts trying to have fun and build some camaraderie amongst my class. They're some resistant fuggers. As for my age, again, the ages in this program range from 20-55. Literally, that's the range. And I'm really not concerned with being the 'old guy.' Hell, I am compared to a lot of my peers, and that's fine. They don't treat me differently from anyone else as near as I can tell. It's because of my age I haven't focused in on any of the younger single chicks: I'm conscious of it. Probably too conscious of it. As a result, I haven't been trying to get any one person to do something with me, but with and as a group. As for what people 'do,' I can't really tell you. All I know is that they don't go out, for food or for play, or for pool, bowling, watching OU games, etc. For example: clinicals are once a week, where we go work in the hospital. We're done around 1:00-1:30, aka lunch time. We're all hungry. We all acknowledge this. I suggest we (all) go get lunch. They say no and go home to eat. Same thing when we break for lunch after class. I've gotten people to go out for lunch exactly one time, and it was for my birthday (and someone else even suggested it). One other time was when our clinical instructor TOLD US to meet at Applebees for lunch on our last day of clinicals this past week when everyone-but-me was whining about having to go. So it's not just a me-thing. As for the girls, most are taken, whether by husbands (the older ones) or by boyfriends (the younger ones). As for the hair, there are plenty of long-haired guys in this town: old hippies, rockers, stoners, bikers, etc. At first I was afraid my hair might be an issue, but that notion was quickly dispelled. The only thing anyone has ever assumed is that I'm in a band. It's felt good to get this off my chest and I'll be home in about 10 days for a month, so that'll be good. I just hope and pray that the next semester, and next year, will be different somehow.
Alright Lynus, I've refrained from posting in this thread up 'til now, but I can empathize with you 110%. I'm in law school right now and it seems to parallel your experience in many ways. I'm 24 though, but like you have been saying, ages don't seem to matter as much in these types of schools. I've hung out with friends that I thought were my age, but they ended up being late 20s/early 30s when I finally found out their age. So I understand about the age thing and believe you that it is definitely not a factor. I really don't know what to tell you as far as changing things around because I have been dealing with the exact same thing these past two years. I can't stand a lot of the people in my class, and the others that I do get along with have such busy schedule like myself that our free time rarely synchronizes. It's some of the little things I miss like going and grabbing a bite to eat and a drink without having to reorganize people's entire schedules, or just sitting back all day on a Saturday with a couple of the guys watching college football, killing a case, and throwing something on the grill. I'm just tired of this lifestyle right now. It sucks never really having any free time. At least with a full-time job, you can typically just sit back and relax on weekends, but I literally can't remember the last weekend when I had absolutely nothing to do. It was probably last summer right before I left to study abroad. The things that have helped me cope: 1. The gym, just like everyone else has been saying. There is something magical about feeling healthy and getting those endorphins. I know I can be going through a hellish week where I have no free time at all, but if I make an hour each day to go to the gym, I end up feeling fantastic throughout the week regardless of everything else that is going on. 2. Take friendships into my own hands. Whenever I get the urge to do something, I will just go down my phone and keep asking people if they want to join me. Often times a lot of people will use their business as an excuse to not make plans themselves, but if you end up proposing plans to them, it gives them enough inertia to go out. 3. Leave town. This may not work for you, but I have a bunch of friends that are "more on my level" as far as enjoying sports and partying that are all within ~1-2 hour drives (the #1 voted party school is within an hour drive of me too, so I try to go there often to hang out with friends and catch football games). If I have a lighter weekend workload, I'll just go hang out with them on the weekend and then drive back on Sunday. 4. Expand my social circle. This has actually been the hardest thing for me to do. I've been trying to expand my social circle in this city to encompass more people that aren't in law school, but it hasn't really taken off. I kinda wish that my gym had a basketball court because I would always meet awesome friends by virtue of all of use being regulars in pickup games. Like point #2, just try to wedge yourself into social circles that you want to be in. Get numbers from people, be proactive, find out what they are doing and make sure you get invites. I think the best thing to do is get to the gym, and work on yourself while you have the free time. Catch up on some stuff that you always wanted to do. Maybe get a girlfriend to occupy your time? I don't know...I can't speak from experience but you may be hitting that transitional period where everyone around you starts focusing on "life" and work so much that they and forget about having fun.
Your school is actually doing you a favor with that curve. If you're going to law school in SF, my guess is that it is not one of the elite schools. The curve is strict to allow the best students to separate themselves so at least some people will get good jobs. If the grades were bunched together then many employers would just skip out on recruiting there. On the plus side, the people who are pricks to you will probably end up in the middle of the class since they tend to jump to conclusions too quickly and often miss nuanced issues. You REALLY need to get a laptop though. Not having one puts you at a massive disadvantage, and the exams you're taking now have huge implications for how your career will go. You should seriously just scan the sunday ads for the best deal and go buy one before your remaining exams. Do whatever you have to do to get one, even if it's opening a Best Buy credit card. NOT a good idea to invest all that money in law school tuition and then not spend a little extra for something that is a major determinant of performance. If you don't do well first semester, the absolute smartest thing to do is drop out. Otherwise you'll have lost out on 3 years of earnings, probably be $100k (or more) in debt, and have job prospects that don't pay more than what you could get with an undergrad degree. Even having gone to UTexas and ranking a bit outside top quarter, I'm getting killed in this legal market and I feel like it was a waste of time/money.
Yes, I'm surprised there isn't more hate on this guy. He is a tool wrapped up in a douche. Sad thing is, there are other guys who don't realize this, and want to be just like him. Pathetic.
yeah, you are probably more sociable than me. I guess I can sustain the boredom more by nature. I wish I were you. maybe, maybe no
I actually didn't know too much about the school until I talked to other lawyers that I met my last year at undergrad and all of them told me it is considered a top 10 law school in the CA legal community. So when I got in and got some nice scholarship money, I had to turn down other good schools. Its amazing b/c outside of the legal community nobody knows the school since it is a stand-alone law school, but lawyers told me its graduated the most judges in CA and has the largest alumni system so I am not worried about the job prospect. The school has actually put more of its students in big/medium firms than Berkeley the last few years since Berkeley is having a tough stretch of Bar failures right now. I don't let the other students get to me too much. They are freaking idoits that derail the teacher's discussion w/ the most r****ded questions that only have a .000001% of every happening in the real world. But the good thing is, even professors got fed up w/ these kids and stopped calling on them in the last month of class. I do plan on getting another laptop. I have a Compaq right now (4 years old) but this particular model has a cheap AC Jack that has broken on me multiple times and I am scared it will break on me in the middle of the exam. Add that to my ****ty battery (lasts about 15 minutes) and I will be crying in the exam. I was looking into the Acer and Asus ones since my current laptop is good (as long as I don't move it around). So the only thing I will use the other one is for school notes and exams. Any experience w/ those laptops?
I think it's something about the culture these days, that makes it hard to get to know people. People are so wrapped up in the friends they already have, or don't get out much, or are so comfortable chatting online, texting, and gaming that doing anything in real life is outside their comfort zone. Maybe that's it... I've had times like that off and on, and usually chose some idea like Franchise3's "leave town" suggestion, when it was convenient. But now I've moved so far away that I can't go find my friends so easily. I've gone back to school where I guess I would be "the old chick" and there aren't too many older students that I've met, so my fiance and I just hang out with each other. He's a lot less shy than me but he hasn't managed to make many friends either. I'm finally like, fine, forget it, I'll just keep busy and wait to see what shakes out. When I was in that position and didn't even have the one person to hang out with, my number one rule was not to spend much time at home. "Because you know nothing's going to happen when you're in there sitting on your couch." Being involved in a college/university gives you an automatic place to hang out (library, student union, outside in good weather, any comfortable place) and study or use your laptop, even if you could technically go home and do it. Also: the gym (usually comes with the college territory) and any activities you're interested in. Clubs, organizations, hobbies. For me, it's music - my local band/choir/orchestra/whatever automatically gives me something to do and a way to meet people. Even though I'm new in town and it feels like none of it really "matters" yet, that might change with time.
I'm just letting you know why people aren't socializing with you. I can't remember the last time I've seen someone with hair that long in person. But who cares right? If it makes you happy, being yourself is good for you. Whoa, you have a degree so that makes you professional? You're not even a nurse yet, so how can you know anything about being professional? If I was an old school doctor I wouldn't even hire you on my team if you had long hair like that. I wouldn't take you serious. Sorry but thats just the way it goes and this happens in the real world on a daily basis. Yes, mock my grammar, good one. Ok, so you say you don't care about parties yet you want to unwind. I guess your unwinding is different from mines. I assumed you meant drinking/partying. What do you want to do then? Gather around at Starbucks/Jamba Juice and study for couple hours? Play Rockband 2 with your classmates? I'm confused by what you think is "fun". Theres a huge difference between the military and college. In the military you had to get along with your peers thats why we would setup morale building activities etc. In college, people don't have to associate themselves with you. It's all about one thing and that is getting your diploma. Who cares what other people do. You can't change them just like I can't change you to cut your long hair. Do your own thing stop worrying about your classmates. Go to OKC find women (since all are taken in Lawton - which is false), find friends, visit the eharmony website, or go watch a Rockets game then you won't be so bored.
I agree with everything TheAce is saying, even though I've never lived in a small town or the countryside. You have to pay the cost to be the boss so sacrificing "having a good time" for a couple of years should not be that big of a deal. At the moment you are a 33 year old student so technically you don't have anything going for you career-wise and the hair isn't helping. Women are extremely shallow and they see that as a red flag. They will probably view it as unfocused and behind your times. Although it's great you are getting good grades and attending class, people expect that from the maturity that comes with your age. I don't think you should be targeting nursing students - maybe use the internet to find women your age who would be more compatible with your situation. Not trying to "diss" you over the internet, and you don't have to reply if you think I'm attacking you, just saying it how I see it.
You obviously haven't read a thing that I've written. 1) Your mind-reading skills are amazing. NO ONE CARES ABOUT MY HAIR. 2) Yes, I have been and have worked as, a professional. I have no idea why you would think otherwise. This includes several years as a counselor at an inpatient psych hospital, so I have plenty of experience in the hospital setting, working with MDs, RNs, LMSWs, and PhDs, thank you very much. Not a damn one of them cared about my stupid hair. Jesus. You, on the other hand, obviously have no idea how hospitals work. But good for you for being "old school," I guess. What I'm telling you is that hospitals don't care. It's one of the few professions where such things don't matter. I might run into something like that if I were to work as an RN in private practice, but not at a hospital. Hell, I WORK IN A HOSPITAL NOW. I'm plenty aware of how the 'real world' works. I said in an earlier post that part of the reason I want to go into nursing is because you're judged on your merits, not your haircut (or lack of one, in my case). 3) You're assuming a awful lot. Here is the 4th paragraph in the original friggin' post: Clear that up any? If you had read anything that I have written in this thread, you would know that this thread is not remotely about "Doodz, wherez da partay?" and chasing women. Again: my quote above = first post, first page. 4) The military is not unfamiliar to me. 3 years at military school and then ROTC in college the first go-round. I know how it works. But you wouldn't know that about me. But given that you're prior service (thank you, even though I currently don't like you very much, but thank you for your service), you would know how important and beneficial study groups can be. I also know that some people are simply loners and prefer to work alone. That's fine. More power to 'em. But you can't tell me that you've never heard of college students studying together, have you? Even the faculty is getting on us for lack of cohesion. Study groups are a good thing. That was my only point regarding that particular matter. 5) I never said all the women in Lawton were taken. I said of the women I know, who are my classmates because my life revolves around nursing school, are taken. If I remember correctly, the only reason I mentioned it in the first place was because HeyP asked me about it directly. And again, (get ready for it) that's not even the issue. I don't think you're dissing me. I don't think Ace is dissing me. What I think is that you, like him, haven't read what's been written. This is evidenced by my having to say, AGAIN, that nowhere did I mention chasing women. I've only spoken about lack of camaraderie and lack of doing anything social on top of my working hard and doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I need a break. A little reprieve. Some good old-fashioned R&R after working hard. The only discrepancy is that I didn't mention the senior class, which is the polar opposite of my anti-social class, in my OP. Sheesh. Read, you two! 4 pages in and a couple of y'all are still fixated on hair and chasing tail. Christ.... I make one friggin' innocuous comment about wearing my hair in a bun....
These are the times that you need your family. Everytime I've felt lonely and an accute depression, my family has always been there to fall back on. I would go weeks without ever hanging with my family. But once I would go through a breakup or a lonely time span, I would start hanging with them for support. S not having your family living near you in Oklahoma, must really hurt.
You don't get it do you? How do you know what other people think about you? Do you have the force in you? Are you a jedi mind reader? People have their own conception about another person whether or not they interact with YOU or not. For example, if I had to choose between a guy nurse with a rocker image or a clean cut professional looking nurse, who do you think I would choose to labor my child or to take care of my older family members? The choice is obvious. All this experience and you still don't get it? I don't need to know how hospitals works, I've been to one before. Hell, I have good friends who are already nurses, and they work in the clinics/hospitals field to know what i'm saying. This type of judgement happens in EVERY workplace environment whether you like it or not. Again I guess i'm assuming this too, I'm sure you would want a woman in your life, and i'm sure you would want to know where the "partay" at because you would be one of the first there to hang out and meet new people. Your in a lonely state, both of those would help cure this. Please don't be a hypocrite now. Having study groups aren't as important as you make it out to be. Your making like its life or death. Yes it can be helpful, but majority of the times it turns into a joke session. When I was in college, If I wanted to have fun while studying i'll go with my friends. Maybe thats why your not invited? They think your older and can't blend in with the crowd. I'm not a loner, and I prefer to work with others, but I like to study alone because I can get more studying done. If its not the issue then why bring it up? I guess you didn't mean to write a lot of stuff you talked about because you were ranting. You should just edit your original post otherwise your turning into more of a hypocrite as this goes on. Sorry if you don't like me now, i'm just giving you some of my advice, but If you can't handle what i'm typing just take the advice of others and just ignore mines.
Whose the mind-reader now? I get it: you're judgmental. I'm in Med-Surge now; working with patients. What don't you get about "no one cares? it's not a big deal?" So....that facts that I worked in a hospital for many years, and I work in a hospital now while being surrounded by medical personnel means nothing? I'm wrong just because you've "been to one before?" Okay, buddy. I have no idea what hypocrisy has to do with anything or what you're talking about. Study groups were one example, and there are none. It's not that I'm "not invited." Jesus. I never brought it up. You did.
