So, I'm waiting at home with two butcher knives in my hand...

More than that, she had no control AND left herself with friends who are completely irresponsible. As a female how can you leave your blackout drunk friend in the hands of a single man that is obviously not enough of a friend for husband to have met.

Responsibility is not about not having fun or getting drunk it is about having the forethought to think about how will I get home safely and are the people around me responsible enough to trust. this is what you are supposed to learn much earlier in life.

 

There is a lot of rampant misogyny running around in this thread, and I'm honestly just a little curious to see what the responses would have been if the wife had posted this thread and the guy was the one out drinking himself into oblivion while the woman was at home with the kids.

But this woman obviously didn't understand "her place". Her designated societal role was violated, she broke protocol. How dare she endanger her life by drinking a few too many drinks while out on the town, my God... she's got kids to look after.

Thats where she should have been the entire time. Barefoot in the kitchen with a baby in hand, a Tall-Boy Natty light in the other, and a can of Skoal in the back pocket. Anything less than the American lower-middle class ideal should be considered a wrongdoing that plunges us all into anarchy.

 

I think there is some confusion here. Or at least I am confused.

It took me until about the third page of the thread to realize that "the large athletic type" that the OP doesn't get along with wasn't a girl but actually the dude that's doing the driving and that this wasn't girls night out. Unless I'm missing something, but that's how I am reading it.

If that's correct... story's even more F'd up.

 

I'm quite surprised you're defending women with all that you've been through.

 

Everyone in this....sigh...

 

If the story is true, he did what he wanted with her and he threw your wife out his car (maybe while driving slowly) because he didn't feel like taking her home. That explains the gash on her elbow and the scrape on her chin. He kept her purse. If he made any charges on her card, do whatever you can to track this guy down. He took advantage of a drunk woman and raped her. Your wife won't say anything because she knows she should have listened to you from the beginning.

To be honest, your wife deserves it.

I feel sorry for you and your kids.

 

I completely disagree with this. While there are a FEW comments that are misogynistic, I believe most of them are in jest. Still, how is what she did not completely irresponsible and immature regardless of her sex? You are single and want to be careless/reckless? Have fun! You are married and have children and your life is no longer yours alone. You have to take those other people into consideration when you make decisions.

 

I think that's unfair. The guy would be equally responsible given the same circumstances.

 

She can drink a few, but she needs to pick her friends better.

 

Wait a second. What can two butcher knives accomplish that one butcher knife can't?

 

I love when the double standard card is played.

 

That's the way I interpreted it as well. The guy is not some complete stranger, as everyone seems to think, but rather just a dirtbag friend from college.

 

This, or get her yourself. If my fiance went out with friends and got drunk off her ass, I wouldn't let some random dude (or even a dude I've met but don't know super well) take her home, I'd go get her myself. Letting drunk people make decisions is not a good decision.

 

Disagree. No one has said it would be all good if the roles were reversed. Obvious differences here are that, for the most part, a drunk woman who is alone is in much more danger than than a man who is drunk and alone. Because of this, women need to take an extra step to ensure their safety and control. This is just reality and not misogynistic at all.

A husband can go out with his friends. A wife can go out with her friends. Situations can get out of control on their own, but it is each parties responsibility to ensure that they have done everything they can to ensure safety and control. I don't think we have enough information here to make that assumption either way, but the wife absolutely has some explaining to do.

The ONLY thing the OP (potentially) did wrong was to threaten the guy, which could have resulted in the wife being left lost and alone. I'd tell the OP to check his anger in any future circumstance of any nature until the issue at hand is resolved. Once resolution of the given problem has occurred, then the expression of anger is 100% appropriate.

But, and assuming I read it all correctly, the OP said that he only got angry and became threatening after the other guy apparently declined to return the wife promptly, so in that case perhaps his anger, and even his threats, were justified.

I don't think we know enough about their history to assume anything re: trust issues, whether they got in a recent fight, etc. But whatever the complete, unabridged story might be here, there are several people involved here who have some serious explaining to do, and it all starts with the wife.

 

It sounds much cooler

 

He couldn't. His children were asleep. And if he had put them in the car to go get her, she (drunkenly) might have tried to make it home on her own while he was in route, and then the OP isn't at home to ensure her safety. Or worst case scenario: he puts his kids in danger by taking them with him to the bar where his super-wasted wife and 'friends' were apparently deciding on the best way to get home.

 

Your reply on his comment did not show you knew he was being sarcastic...

 

Wife must have been insanely drunk to have been lost and alone with no money, and not sober the hell up.

 

There's also always the chance that she was unknowingly slipped something.

I knew a guy once who wound up butt-naked in the lobby of a Four Seasons with nothing but his wallet. He'd lost everything: clothes, keys, glasses, shoes, watch, everything. Only had his wallet. Granted, he was on some pretty heavy drugs, but still.

 

That's what I thought. That's why I don't understand all the comments about the guy being a stranger that the husband never met. Maybe I was reading it wrong.