So I asked my professor how can I raise my grades

You should deliver him pizza when you get there.

Wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea now.

 

Play it safe

And bring some condoms

 

Did it happen to be a professor that has been dead for sometime now and you just recently found out?

 

you've been given a second chance to raise your grade.

don't blow it.

(or perhaps you should ).

 

You should then tap the pizza, and then let your prof tap you

 

i just got an email from the head of the C.I.A. and i have some major money coming my way if I can provide some minimal funds up front.

what should i do?

 

So, going by your username, we can deduce...

 

Something's going to be raised all right.

Something's going to be dropped too. (Your pants.)

 

^ LIsten to him, he's a professor...

uh, don't do it...you'll end up just like the girl with the dragon tattoo...seriously...

 

There is only one proven (legitimate) way to raise your grades.

Study.

And, if the whole studying thing doesn't work, reconsider college.

 

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PZtxBZ9D5sI?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PZtxBZ9D5sI?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

 

Yea, if you haven't seen that movie, watch it then make your decision.

 

But... this is serious and solemn advice, Mr. thadeus. Where is the jive wisecrack we have come to expect?

 

The Thadeus has already done said professor and does not want OP to move in after completion.

 

Of course, you screw around on a message board and joke around about the offer rather than actually study your course material. Lack of focus and priorities bro, no compassion or laughing here.

 

You know what, ignore this rant. Good luck getting your grades up.

 

Well, if we never see GlenRice posting again, we will know what happened.

Spoiler

DEATH BY ANAL RAPE

 

I just got an e-mail from my University saying that if I don't stop peeing, the dean will have me report to the E.R.

 

I asked my professor today how magnets work. He asked me if I was trolling. The End.