Baron Davis: To try and figure out a way to get traded out of New Orleans. Tim Duncan: To figure out, do I want to grow my hair out or cut it short. Ben Gordon: For coach to realize that I should be starting instead of Chris Duhon. Paul Pierce: "To try and think happy thoughts and to stop looking like somebody just killed my dog on the court." Milwaukee Bucks: To stop doing whatever we're doing this year and go back to whatever we were doing last year. The owners of the Staples centre: To make more money. First order of business: let the Clippers find somewhere else to play! There's more money to be made by staging 2 major concerts than 41 Clippers games, and any smart business person would actually make this move and can the Clippers. Samuel Dalembert: For coach to keep me in the starting line-up. Pau Gasol: To continue being the only living professional athlete with absolutely no muscle definition. Jeff Van Gundy: To learn how to play the point guard position. Sacramento Kings: Remove the "___ days since last injury" sign from the locker room bulletin board. Kirk Hinrich: For people to look beyond my skin color and realize that I am one of the bright young rising stars in the NBA. Marc Jackson: To get coach to keep Dalembert on the bench. Raef Lafrentz: For people to forget that I was top-five pick in the NBA draft. Aaron McKie: To figure out where my game has gone. Sacramento Kings: No more Bette Midler during warm ups. Tyson Chandler and Eddy Curry: To finally play up to our potential. Corliss Williamson: To locate the whereabouts of Scotty Thurman. Jason Richardson: To figure out why I signed that long-term deal with the Warriors. Jason Kidd: To give the ball to TJ more and Vince and RJ less. He is subsequently traded to New York for an old Brooklyn Dodgers cap and some of financial tips from Isaiah. Jerome Williams: To continue to do whatever it is that I do. Sonics: To not stop whatever it is we're doing. Suns: See Sonics. Kings: To give Peja the damn basketball. Rockets: To not make another blockbuster trade anytime soon. Sam Cassell: To stop whining. Latrell Sprewell: See Cassell, Sam. Ron Artest: To realize that retaliating on the court is less expensive than retaliating off of it, and therefore resolve to let emotions and aggressions out on the court. (Yikes) New Orleans Hornets: To ask David Stern if we can move to somewhere in the Atlantic Division. Atlantic Division: To ask David Stern if we can move to the NBDL. Washington Wizards: To give Eddie Jordan an extension and do the exact same thing we're doing now. Memphis Grizzlies: To tell Fratello to make more substitutions. Kobe's teammates: To never again say that KB8 needs to take more shots, even though they only said it a week ago. Never ever ever again. San Antonio Spurs: To get someone exciting other than Manu Ginobli. Can it be that hard to find someone? Boston Celtics: See Atlantic Division. The Phoenix Suns: To play some defense after getting spanked by the Spurs this week by 20+, proving that you can score on every possession, but unless you're stopping the other team from doing the same thing, you might not win. 76ers: To let Iverson get 50 everyday. Donyell Marshall: Swear to finally call back the people at The Muppets and shoot a scene with Kermit the Frog for the next Muppets movie. Latrell Sprewell: To stop applying for welfare checks. Rick Brunson: To stay on an NBA team for more than 29 minutes. Steve Nash: To stop ingesting caffeinated cocaine before games. Chris Mullin: To get my damn head checked. http://slamonline.com/links/12272004/
