My cousins always have some drama going on. It is like a regular soap opera. They are all women, though, but I tend to avoid them like the black plague. My brother loves to get caught up in their soap opera under the premise that they are family. I personally don't think all their life's dramas, which includes in-fighting, inheritance/money backstabbing, name calling, one always mad at the other, is any of my brother's g***amn business. Therefore, I think my bro is stupid for even bothering. And, they manipulate him in certain situations since he is so close to the drama and start pitting bro against other family members to where he is now taking sides. Then, I get to hear about it when I really don't care. They have their own lives and they conduct themselves poorly. Therefore, I stay out of it and away. I do not think it is healthy to have cousins fit into the friend role. This situation here is just another example in my book. Would it be any easier if he were just a friend? Well...at least the family card is not in the picture. Betray a family member and you now have family members and possibly friends taking sides on this issue. You should just stay out of it and don't play the rat. It really is not your business IMO. I'm sure he just had to tell you cause you'll are close...but is that really a secret you want to be carrying around. It sounds more like a burden and you don't know what to do with it. Now, you probably feel a little dirty in the process cause you are damned if you do...damned if you don't.
Dr Laura would say its the man's WIFE'S FAULT for not doing her part to maintain desirability. To her its a foregone conclusion that men and women WILL seek from someone else what they're not getting at home. And that men especially dont want to come home to some shrewish hag letting herself go. So then you need to go directly to wife and suggest some of these things to her. And if necessarily, physically help her along through the process and see her become that desirable more attractive woman she's capable of being... All you can really do in these situations is plainly state the concern like you did. Have semi-support and try to be non-judgmental, but dont hint around either. Basically, tell the truth objectively.... Its mostly about "Don't say no one told ya!". Yes you want to STOP the situation, but its not always about trying to fix things. Cuz people will STILL follow their passion and lust anyways even after you tell them. At least in my experience its like that. I havent had anyone listen to even 2% of my advice, yet 80% I've been unfortunately right seeing those people get burned. So you did what you had to do....I feel bad for who the guy's letting down.
He COULD use his voice to call him... like... when you call someone "hey, come over here." That's calling someone, no?
Is this your cousin? I wanted that inspirational poster version of Steve Mc Nair that says " Crazy........ don't stick your D**k in it"
When he calls back if it isn’t to apologize to you for involving you and for getting angry when he didn’t hear what he expected … don’t pick up anymore phone calls from him. If he does apologize and you get to friendly terms again tell him you don’t want to hear anymore on that particular subject. Tell him you can talk about anything but that. Like I said earlier in the thread, I went through something similar with a friend who I consider like a sister. I was her sounding board during it and it was a burden to do so but another mutually close friend of ours told her that she did not approve and we three never talked about the co-worker in her presence out of respect. If you don’t want to know more do the same.
I never said she didn't know he was married but we don't what Roxran's cousin has been telling this woman. A lot of posters seem to be taking the attitude that the woman is a slut. Well we haven't heard her side of story and we have no idea what her sexual history is or what her thoughts about this are. Even though she knows he is married is she under the impression that he is going to leave his wife for her? There seems to be a presumption that she is out looking for another notch in her garter belt over this but without knowing more perhaps Roxran's cousin unhappy in his marriage set out to seduce a hot young co-worker who is otherwise somewhat naive when it comes to romance. Perhaps Roxran's cousin is the one likely to move onto another hot young thing when he gets tired of her. Consider that the only one we know for a fact who has been unfaithful in this matter is Roxran's cousin. I agree that she should know better than to get involved with a married man but again only one of them has sworn a vow of fidelity. I'm not going to condone this situation and I think both Roxran's cousin and his mistress are in the wrong but without knowing more I'm not going to cast this woman as a homewrecker looking for a fling no matter who it hurts.
This is gonna get ugly...... If the guy wants to date her, fine, then honor his wife and get a divorce. DD
how would you feel if someone butted in on your mischievous behavior? advise the serenity prayer, move on
I think you should just stay out of it. He's a grown man making grown man choices. People do lots of crappy things, but getting mixed up in it is most likely not going to help anything. You can tell him you don't approve of it, but that's as far as I would go. People have enough issues in their own life to worry about before they go around fixing someone else's.
Really? It's obviously wrong, but... he should stay out of it? You mean he will continue to see his cousin's wife's face, but he has to stay out of it? As he talks to his cousin's son, he will try to withhold the truth... because he should stay out of it? When the dude's mom says "so what's going on with my son? I hear you two are close?" he should stay out of it? Ok. Does anyone remember that thread about strangers doing something when something bad happens? I think it was an undercover report on ABC.
Its more than his wife's honor at stake here but also the upbringing of his children. Just getting a divorce might create more problems than it solves.
re: no_answer ^ I don't know about that... although it might seem the thing to do... but... at least push his cousin to tell the truth and fess up. Sooner or later, Mrs. Cousin will find out, and like someone said, if she finds out ROXRAN knew, it could also break up his family. Well, okay, at least I know what you think on the subject. Like I said before, he tried. Hey, rocketsjudoka, I see your point now... I didn't say she was a slut, either, just that she's just as guilty as him. It takes TWO to tango, and they're still dancing without his wife knowing.
At the sametime though if someone you care about is on a self-destructive course is the best thing to just leave them to it? I don't have a good answer to Roxran's situation but there are problems either interfering or not.
Ask Ari Gold how being the confidant to a cheater turned out for him... I got put in that situation once and it backfired on me. If I had it to do over, I would have told him not to tell me anything as soon as he began telling me what he was up to. There's litterally nothing good going to come out of this for you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm withholding information and I will NEVER tell you... I should stay OUT OF IT.
