It comes down to this. You need to decide if you love her enough that you want to spend the rest of your life with her and she needs to decide if she loves you enough to try and improve her relationship with your mother because you shouldn't have to pick or rank your wife and your mother, they are supposed to be equally important to you. Women, they hate your mom and heaven forbid you feel the same way about their mom.
OK, I will agree with that, although I've never personally been friends with anyone who had smothering parents.
She's trying to control a mother/son relationship, you need to chunk deuce. I don't see why she has jealousy issues over your mother.
If you're asking us if you should get married or not, you probably shouldn't. You should when there's no doubt in your mind that she's "the one".
Uhhh...from what I read (all I can go by)...he is 30 years old, spends multiple evenings after work with his mother and spends the night over there. On top of that, his mother dislikes his GF for reasons as asisnine as not walking her to the door (seems like overprotective mother who will not like ANY girlfriend b/c it takes her son away). And I'm not saying his mom is a bad person for doing this or anything like that, but that is something that would and probably should agitate a spouse or could-be-spouse. Basically, if he keeps up the Mama's Boy routine, no woman will ever want to marry him. It's his choice And no, Fatty, I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting to be close to and spend time with your mom. But sleepovers and multiple evenings per week is abnormal at 30
His quote at the end mijo was this...... I am moving out of NYC to Baltimore next week. I'm giving my ex her stuff back from my apartment this Friday. I am contemplating proposing to her then. Things are just so ****ed. I don't know what to do. Don't know if he still loves her or not. I dont recommend he propose.....because he still has doubts. I was trying to say that you can have a relationship with both...even if they dont like each other. You just have to make the wife feel like number one...numero uno. Why am I explaining myself to you? Go and wave your Flag cabron.
This is it right here Blake. Nobody is saying you can't have a relationship with your mom if you are/want to be married, but it can't be one in which she is getting this much of your time. Marriage is a new union between two people, and no woman is going to want to be married to someone who spends nearly half the week with his mother and sleeps at her house.
Exactamundo, MoBalls. You were with your girlfriend, and he is NOT with his (it is his EX!). Your situation with making WIFE #1 is not his situation making X-GIRLFRIEND #1. He doesn't love her. If he did, things would have been fixed from the previous "ultimatum" thread. So... Pancho's for lunch?
Like others say, if you have to ask us if you should propose...then no. It is fine to have a relationship with your mom and any girlfriend/wife should respect that but if you still act like a child with your mom then they will have issues with it.
Wife having issues with her mother-in-law? Extremely rare, almost unheard of!!! The question is not if but how much.
To the O.P- Is your mum originally from another country? I think the walking the door part sounds like a respect issue and that leads me to believe that his family/mum is from originally from another country. As was said before, If the ex-gf really wanted to make it work, on her part she would have tried to make it work with the mum, maybe going with the OP to dinner at his mums house. But on the OPs part, if he was living with the gf then there's no need to sleepover at your mums house during the week. If he wasn't then I don't see a problem there. Nonetheless, you-OP need to find some friends for your mum, maybe in church or in some sort of group-if she likes gardening or something, find some friends for her. And go get your ex and move with her to Baltimore. Make it work dawg!
Dude, take heart, my girls is only 25 and yet I'm getting the ultimatum crap(I hate catholic school for how it corrupts the minds of young girls and makes them feel they should be married and making babies once they graduate college). You've already said the sex with the ex was dope so the next and most important question before deciding if you should propose is... Can she cook? If so then don't waste another minute and go put a ring on it.
I'll repeat what's already been said 20 times: Ultimatums are a horrible reason, don't do it. If you have to ask a basketball message board, don't do it. If she forces you to pick between her and your mother, don't do it. I admire your loyalty to your mother and sticking w/ her through tough times, but the best way to help her is to make her more independent and less reliant on you. It will only get worse, not better if nothing changes.
ding ding ding! winner. I know some guys need a little pushing to make the commitment, but what kind of "marriage" is it if it's really only one of the people that wants (or is ready) to get married? It's one thing for y'all to discuss it and have plans, but to get an ultimatum after 2.5 years is ridiculous. You should know long before that if that is the person you want to marry, and if it is she should understand that you do plan to marry her but now is not the time. In other words, you shouldn't be forced to marry on her terms. If she can't understand that, she's not worth it.
