should I propose? I've got 48 hrs

I have a fantastic friendship with my mom, I live down the street from her AND I'm not in a relationship. Still, I rarely see her more than twice a week. If that's this girl's ultimatum, I think you can survive

 

Here's a theory: Your mom probably says she hates your ex because she wants you all to herself. She'll probably hate any girl you bring home.

 

Do what you want first, then take care of your moms issues. Tell her ahead of time what you are doing and she needs to accept it. But it won't be a fun ride. If you do propose, throw this issue out in the open to both of them so that it is ove with. don't let it linger.

 

Dude, your mom is always the most important person in the world but you definitely need boundaries. You need your mom to back off a little, maybe only see her once a week or twice a month or something. Your girl sounds like the jealous, controlling type though. If you're forced into an ultimatum over such an important decision as a commitment for life then that's probably not the type of woman who respects you very much.

 

Wait, you don't have all the advice you need already?

http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=160967

For a second there I thought there was a glitch in the Matrix.

 

lmao...got em..

 

I love my mom so much. If my gf or wife said I couldnt visit her more then 2 times a week. Then I would tell her to GTFO.

 

OK, here is my two cents..

First, if you mom knows about this and hasn't convinced you to put her aside and propose.. she is being selfish.

Second, this is your life. Do you want to be the happy guy? Or the guy who regrets not marrying the girl you love b/c your mother was in the picture?

Third, if your mother loves you back, she will totally understand...

I know it is very hard to choose between family and your happiness, but honestly, at some point in time, you have to draw the line and do what's "selfish".. In reality, it's not selfish at all.. you giving up your happiness would make 2 lonely ppl trying to make each other happy.. then there would always be that thought between you and your mother for as long as you guys lived..

Telling your mom you need your space might also be a good thing for her.. she will learn to be on her own and maybe go out and find life again! You can also still call/text...

Bottom line, if you love this girl, and you don't propose.. you will be choosing to partake in a tragedy for your life story.

 

someone was skirting the quote, but i once heard a girl friend say to her ex in a similar predicament:

"you can't have both mine and your mama's t*tties in your mouth at the same time."

it was in front of the guys, and we all made stank faces because we all knew it was straight nasty how she gutted him. we all felt it.

i would say if you love her, and you're pushing 30, it's time to courage up. tell mama that you need to have a personal life and that your girl would make you the happiest husband in the world, and tell the girl that just because you love your family doesn't mean you love her less.

 

word up brotha, getting married is like adopting a new family.

 

Ok, here goes: the problem here is not your mother and it's not your girlfriend.

The problem is you.

I know, it's hard to hear, but the simple truth is you have two people in your life who are asking you for compromise, and you aren't happy with what EITHER of them are asking. You may think you have no problem with your mom's demands on you, but I can tell you that seeing your mom 3-4 days out of a 7-day week is going to be off-putting to ANY woman. Add to that the boundary issues your mom has (as mentioned in your previous thread) and you have a recipe for life-long bachelorhood. If that isn't what you want, you need to cut mom loose NOW. Don't remove her from your life entirely. But you need to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that she is not the center of your world any more, and you cannot be the center of hers.

"But, she raised me..."
"But, I'm her only child..."
"But, I'm all she's got..."

No excuses. A truly nurturing parent wants to see their child become independent and succeed on their own. Anything else is self-serving on her part, and you need to recognize that and take care of it.

At the same time, you need to realize that once the relationship reaches the "propose-or-I-walk" phase, it's already too late. You've already proven that the idea of marrying the girl is not compelling enough for you to make the necessary adjustments to your life to accommodate her in it. But things are even worse: you've passed the "propose-or-I-walk" phase. Stick a fork in this relationship. It's done. Move on, make some life adjustments, and maybe you'll be ready for the next great thing that comes along.

But the key to this is fixing Y-O-U.

 

How good is she in the sack?

This question is rhetorical, and serious, on my part.

Is the chemistry right between the sheets....that will tell
you plenty.

 

Thanks for putting that image in my head.

 

Please provide more info so the thadeus can ascertain whether or not he has done either of them.

Although, even without identifying information, chances are 84.9% for either of them individually and 67.2% for both at the same time.

 

....then you know what you have to.

May the force be with you.

 

I think it's perfectly normal for a serious girlfriend/wife to have issues with a guy who spends the night at his mother's house and visits her more than twice a week after work.

Nothing wrong with being there for your mom and wanting to spend time with her, but seriously, bro...most chicks are not going to be okay with that. And why should your girlfriend walk your mother to her door? That seems like something really petty to dislike someone over.

 

Hate to say it, but it sounds to me like no woman is going to be good enough at any point.