I understand why people respond like you did, it's a common internet occurrence. I'm sure the tough guy act wouldn't fly if you were face to face and that's my point. You act out aggression, insecurities and stuff on the internet because you can't get punched in the face as a response. Falcons Talon on the other hand, wanted to hear some opinions on a situation that caused him some grief, and just like you - it's ok to post it because you don't know who he is personally and only know him by his handle on a internet forum. Talon - other them professional help, looks like you are in a tough situation. Try not to act on your anger and focus it into being constructive.
the only thing you can do about your reaction last night is to not let it happen again. it's understandable how angry you were and commendable that you tried your best to not confront the situation. i would take him to get help now. make sure there's nothing physical that could be causing this. sorry you're having to go through this, ft.
Well, to be blunt, what you did was wrong. Just as wrong as what your brother did, if not worse, depending on his mental health. The best thing to do is, try everything, and I mean even beyond, to fix things. In my experiences, the worst thing you can do in life is live with regrets. The fact that what happened, happened, will always be in your mind. You can go skiing, snowboarding, or bungee jump off of a cliff, but eventually, it will refocus in your mind. Do everything you can to salvage the situation. I have a cousin who my parents adopted and he has down syndrome. He has his good days and his bad. He often freaks out. In the past, he has punched/kicked my mom, my grandmother, and many others. Its hard to hold back that temperment, esp with me being the oldest out of 7 kids in our family. I understand what you are going through. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and your actions. The flux compasitor is not real, time travel to correct a past event sint possible. All you can do is pad the memory by making it up ten fold. Trust me bud. Trust me.
OTOH, do you think people that post stuff like this would get up in front of a group of a thousand people they don't know and talk about it? The anonimity of the internet allows people talk about personal stuff that they normally wouldn't...unfortunately 1000's of people they don't know read it and can respond even though the poster probably only wanted maybe 10-20 people of the board to actually read it... It's easy to say...'well don't read it'...uh, well you posted it on a public message board that is read by 1000's that can say whatever they want to (within reason) just like you can post whatever you wanted to (within reason). If you don't want negative feedback about your life maybe you shouldn't discuss personal matters to complete strangers...some that couldn't care less about your issues(even though I find the story a bit sad)... That's what friends(or nowadays, facebook, email, etc.) are for...aren't they?
watch out, he might be taking steroids and thats causing his change in behavior. If so, you are probably #1 on his list. Try and get him into some therapy. he probably understands why you did what you did
Although your reaction was unnecessary and now you're feeling like the way you are, you know what you did wrong or why you did what you did (physical confrontation is never good for anyone, regardless of the situation), but I would guess most of us here who have read your posts about your problems know how much of a sound person you are. I'm in the "two wrongs don't make a right" camp, and I would just turn my other cheek (no pun intended) but if these were my parents, I'd probably punch REALLY HARD. Hey, you let your emotions get the best of you and you thought it was the best thing to do. It happened. Hopefully your brother understood WHY you did that. I hold some respect for you, Mr. Talon, because not only are you a teacher and know how to behave and make your kids and students behave, but it takes guts to say all this to us folks who don't even know you personally, and while I don't applaud the physical stuff (albeit to Rockets1 it is weird), I do applaud you for actually getting your brother's attention and letting him know that what he did wasn't cool. He needed to know somehow. As someone said already, get OTHER people to talk to him, too. Get him some professional help if possible. I know for a fact this isn't really easy as I have brothers of my own of whose actions I almost never approve. Good luck, sir.
If you don't agree with the topic and have a problem with him posting his personal things on the board than **** off and move along. Falcon Talon obviously trusts this board as family and you're asking why he's venting while being at 39 years of age? Really? Back to the subject: Falcon, I've always had a close relationship with my brother (29) and I cannot relate your situation since we haven't been in any serious arguments to date (as adults). However, I can tell you that what you did was not a "bad thing". In my culture I was raised to never, ever put a hand on your parents. No matter what the circumstances are... if your 12, 18, 36 etc. My parents would beat the **** out of me and my brother and I would never even think of fighting back. I understand he's had a brain issues but disciplinary actions are needed and I believe you did what was right. Anyways , good luck with your situation. As mentioned, I would look for help for your brother. Try not to feel to down on yourself. Hope I helped.
He needed his ass kicked. It doesn't matter if he is a little off or not. I don't think you should feel bad at all.
He's probably a virgin and desperately needs the companionship of an unrelated female. I'm not joking.
I agree, especially after what he did to your mother. ANYONE who treats his/your mother like that deserves and needs a smack in the face, I don't care how unstable they are. Sometimes that is the only way to get through to people. But, you should look into some help
Falcon Talons.. What you need to do is have a good talk with your brother.. and by talk, I mean allowing him to vent his frustrations with his life. Try to lead the convo and relate with what you feel he might be suffering with so that he can release all that emotional stress that's built up inside of him for 33 years.. He needs someone he can depend on and you need to show him you are there and understand what he's going through. What you did was probably not the best approach, but what's done is done, and you can't go back. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and go back and try what I said above. Sounds to me if someone was 36, mildly brain-damaged, and living with his parents, he would be rather frustrated, feel trapped, helpless, and maybe even feel like he's letting his parents down by still being there. Try to relate with these things to him in the form of questions that might get him to vent and then he will be a state of mind to listen and grow.
Falcons Talon His attention needed to be gotten. The next steps are important You are showing far more restraint and sensativity than I would. NO ONE SHOVES MY MOM that includes Family. .. 9 to 90 blind cripple or crazy It is NOT ALLOWED! PERIOD! so you are feeling badder than you should if you feel bad about the actions feeling bad about the situation . . . that i understand more Rocket River
My take on this is you should feel bad about it and frankly I think its a good thing you do. It shows that you aren't a violent person and that you have genuine concern for your brother. That doesn't mean that your brother didn't deserve for you to literally slap some sense to him and whether you did the right thing without knowing more it sounds like you did. I agree with the other posters that your brother probably needs some professional help and the best thing you can do for your brother now is to see that he gets it. This is a tangent but it is something that I am concerned about. You said your brother is a black belt in Taekwondo. I don't know if your brother would use the skills that he has learned to hurt your parents or other people but if he is violent this is something to be worried about. As a coach you probably understand that often in addition to teaching physical skills we also teach things like character. For me this is especially important in Martial Arts as the "Do" in the name tells us we are engaged in a philosophical exercise as much as we are a physical. Unfortunately too many schools don't do that. If I were you I would consider talking to your brother's sensei and letting him know that until your brother gets his act together he shouldn't be doing Taekwondo.
If your brother can take care of himself maybe he ought to move out? Its possible he needs space as a 30 something year old....then again, not being around people might not be constructive either...
Have you tried talking to your bro since? If not, that would be the first thing I would do.. just explain to him how badly you feel about the whole situation. He needs to know also what he did wrong. Good luck to you and your family.
One time on New Year's Eve my brother wanted to drive away from the hotel that we were staying while he was drunk. We had all agreed before hand to not drive that night and I took his keys from him. That turned into a heated argument and eventually I threw a couple of punches and got him down where I could have hurt him. I didn't hit him once I got him down but what I did in anger made me feel terrible afterward and the next day. At the time we were in our early twenties and I still feel bad about it years later though at some level we both know that he was being a jerk and kind of deserved it. We joke about it from time to time, but I still hate that we got in a physical fight during our adult years. I'm 36 now so it's been about fifteen years. I know that this is a different situation but I think that it will get easier for you as long as you work towards repairing your relationship with your bro and try to get him some help. This may be a turning point for both of you.
Dang Falcons, I am sorry you had to go through that. I am not going to judge what you did there, but escalating violence is probably not the best thing to do. Any way to get him into counseling? Maybe you could attend with him? He should not have gone after your mother, that is inexcusable...... Sounds like he really needs some help. DD
