It's easy to be "old-fashioned" when you're married and no longer have to deal with it. Really? You would have a problem if you were single and a girl said she liked you and wanted to go out? Most often, it's been indirect for me. A girl that likes me will tell a mutual friend who will tell me "so-and-so thinks you're cute" or whatever.
I guess it depends on my mood...If i'm out, having a good time, I have no problem if a girl makes the first move, it's empowering to them and flattering to me... however, the old fashioned part of me kicks in and I'd rather make the first move... but honestly, if a girl comes up to me, I would tend to think she's desperate and/or has loose morals...not that there's anything wrong with that...
I think it's totally cool that women are feeling more and more comfortable making the first move. That being said, I like being pursued. It has no bearing on the rest of the relationship, because I'm one of those neurotic "everything must be equal" types, and I don't believe one bit in societal gender roles, but with the more "primal" aspect of relationships (meeting for the first time and sex), I think it's hotter when guys take the initiative.
No, it's not easy. If I were not married I'd say still NO to my question. Chivalry is dying... and I don't like it. Romanticism is dying, and I am not liking it. Call it "macho" or whatever, but why can't men have some testicles/guts and DO IT? Of course, some women do it 'cuz they have more guts than that man. Yes. Believe me, I think there would be something wrong with the girl for her not to be choosing to try to pick up other guys besides me and asking me out directly. She must be REALLY desperate . Like I said, it's a very personal opinion because I'm not that attractive and all I have is my personality... (ONLINE personality is something else). See, that's what I'm talking about. It's more romantic/gentleman-like.
that's pretty much how it worked four years ago. welp, i guess i sort of agree with swoly. the world is freezing over.
^ GUYS, GUYS... cool it... moes, finals, if you BOTH start using smilies, the world WILL freeze over.
I think its hot if a woman makes the first move. Sometimes, us guys can't tell what the hell these girls mean with these signs and games. They like to send mixed signals. Because we've all been in situations where we thought a girl seemed interested in us, only to find out that she wants to be the dreaded f word (friends). So if her making the first move cuts straight to the point, then I'm all for it.
I know plenty of old-fashioned church girls who don't want to make the first move. One, they think there's a way it's supposed to be done -- that deviation from a classical courting process could indicate that you're loose, or the man will think you're loose, or that the man isn't assertive enough or the woman doesn't think the man is assertive enough, or the woman is too assertive or will wear the pants in the relationship, or whatever. Two, they've been nurturing this fantasy since girlhood that some knight in shining armor will come and sweep them off their feet. This man will pursue them, parry various attempts to put them at bay, and with perseverance will eventually win the girl's love. But not the creepy, stalker guys -- they'll get the message and go away. But, a handsome, successful, attractive, intelligent man will persevere and prevail. Then, they're in their mid-30s and wondering why they are still single. They see their less charming, less intelligent, less attractive friends getting married and wonder why it didn't happen to them. And, being an old-fashioned church girl, this is what she's wanted all this time -- to marry and have children, but they can't figure out why they can't seem to pull it off. Maybe spinsterhood was in the Providential design? But, if you suggest to this church girl to be bolder in relationships, she says, "Oh, I couldn't do that. The man is supposed to make the first move." So, when you see something you want, be proactive and take it. And, secondly, face reality and make some concessions. What you really want might be for someone else to find you and court you and marry you and have children with you. But, if it ain't happening, see if you can't give up one or two so you can get the others.
