What is a male slut, Alex Just kidding. I agree with the go with the flow thing. You should know more about her in a week or two. You can make a better decision, not so sex-related, at that time.
If she is too slutty for you VOR, then what's her digits??? Joking aside - you can probably still have a great relationship with her. At least you know "the sex" is good.
Sex on the first date is really not the issue. The issue is whether you are right for each other. See Behad's post. Please get over such stupidities as "slut" or the male equivalent. Sex on the first date sometimes get in the way of rationally deciding whether you should be together. But who said the whole relationship thing is rational. Hey in the old pre aids days going to bed on the first date was pretty normal for those in their mid twenties or older with some experience. Many fine marriages have resulted from these humble (hehehe) beginnings. Thanks for the memories, but damnit, now you've made it hard to get back to work.
I have confused anything and everything for love. You can include getting sex and not getting sex in that list. I applaud any man or woman who can remove their blinders long enough to see the truth -if that is even possible. It seems strange to me that six months after every relationship I thank god I didn't continue it. I thank God I didn't marry that woman. I thank god she didn't let me marry her. What's up with that? One minute I would do anything to hold onto a particular woman, then six months later I'm thanking God I'm not with her. One minute I've given up every last inch of my pride to keep her, the next month I'm glad it's over. Something is just strange about that. I don't think I'm alone either. This is normal for most of us. There has got to be a better system than faith. Shouldn't science have figured this out by now? Are we even supposed to settle down and couple-up? It makes you wonder. It really does. Perhaps those people who get married are simply evolutionary misfits. Perhaps they are clinging onto the past. But then again, they seem happy, and they claim to be happy. At least 50% of them anyway.
You're a dork. Just get at her, don't worry about all that other stuff, stop analyzing **** and just see what happens.
The myriad of opinions in this thread is really interesting. Telling her what you've told us seems like a good way to go (except about her being a slut - leave that out. ), but that doesn't change the fact that if you're like me, it's hard to be honest without getting nervous, tripping over your tongue, and worried about how stupid you're sounding. Good luck with the relationship. Hope it works out.
PSJ said: It seems strange to me that six months after every relationship I thank god I didn't continue it. I thank God I didn't marry that woman. I thank god she didn't let me marry her. What's up with that? I think that is just "dating". I used to characterize it as 1) Oh, you're so great I can't believe I met you: I'm so happy. 2) You know s/he has such and such flaw 3) Gosh , that is really bothering me and 4) I can't believe I was so stupid to hang out with a stupid f>>>ed up person like you. F...you, well f... you, too. Goodbye. The agony and the ectasy of dating. As an old married guy I sure miss that first 48 hours of getting to know each other. I can do without the agony. It is sort of like when I lived up in the land of ice and snow. The first few hours of freshly falling snow are great; I can do without the dirty icy crap that is still there 5 months later.
Update 5/4/02 and more trouble I have gotten myself into. Well the first date girl is more or less a thing of the past. Our intimacy on our first encounter was a bit of a hurdle, be we did over come it. basicly it was just something we would joke about. It turns out that she was a bit insane though. that was a dissapointment. I would recive calls at all times of the night from her. as it turns out these calls were usually bootycalls, or she just wanted to talk dirty. ok I know. this isnt all bad. infact I was flattered, and well turned on, but the problem is that she would usually be messed up. she apparently drinks and smokes more than well um most. lets just say that. again, this isnt a complete red flag, but she would always ramble on about truely CRAZY stuff and eventually fall asleep. some of the crazy things I learned. she like her sex rough...not all that bad right, but. I mean ROUGH. like getting hit, hair pulled, and verbally abused during it. this is uncomfortable for me. basicly she wants the rape fantesy and nothing else. this is just not for me. she was once married. which is cool, but she married him for her green card. Im sorry, but I cant have a relationship with a chick that cal lie to a man enough to get the ring, and the citizenship. kind of a cold hearted calosed chick. she had a relationship with her ex boss. he left the company and his wife, she still works there sometimes when I would see her, her eyes were totally dialated, and she just acted totally weird. she always tried to manipulate me never wanted me to wear a condom(im not that stupid) and honestly there were countless other things, some of them totally disturbing, but Im not gonna mention them because well I guess I still have some respect for her. MY NEW PROBLEMS I am now getting involved with an awsome chick. lots of good things to say about her, one bad. she is a kindergarten teacher. you know the kind caring type. she also hasnt quite ended her last realtionship he is a cop and a decent guy. I feel guilty, and last night after a night out, we um, slept together. I feel extra guilty now I think this is way more of an obsticle for me than the sex on the first date thing. oh, and did I mention that I LOVE SPRING!!! PEACE
man, you're just screwing up left and right aren't you? I don't mean to be rude and you probably didn't post with the intention of being bashed, but VOR, get your head straight man. The decisions you make in life are a big part of your character and your principles....so if you're cool with what you did, then it's no problem. But you keep posting looking like you aren't cool with what happened. VOR, no one here knows you better than yourself. If you like being involved with psycho chicks and doing a cop's girl, then so be it. But if you're not happy with being that person then don't get those damn situations. There are so many "what ifs" now, good and bad, that I won't even get into them. Like "if he finds out", try not to get shot. Seriously. It happens. I know.
A wise Sage. . . my former roommate told me "always get the *****" i'm amaze how folx let sex complicate things WE ARE CAPITALIST PEOPLE IN ALL THINGS If cop cannot hold his own in this competitive love thing . . . .well . .like a bad business he goes out of business You are the better deal. . . . does ATT feel guilty when someone leaves sprint Or even uses ATT while using sprint? No WE ARE CAPITALIST It's more than an economic system . .. it's a mindset once you accept it and buy into it. . . you'll be better off Forreal .. . I say go for what ya know If Teacher is your ONE . . it will become apparent HOW serious is her relationship with Cop . .. if they just DATING i see no problem . .. If they engaged. . that maybe different Rocket River
