Dude, I went through the same crap.Get you a lawyer and get a divorce.Don't put yourself through the pain and mental anguish. You will come out better for it.Once a woman starts telling you stuff like this, it means it's over.
try and get her to go to some marriage counseling. both of you should go on your own and together. She may be lost and this would help her. it might help, might not, but at least you tried all you can. Don't call it quits early, otherwise you will regret that later on
i donno, maybe a marriage counselor would help, but the thought of staying with someone who betrayed your trust and cheated on you... i couldn't do it.
if it doesn't work it doesn't work but at least they tried everything. btw, he doesn't even know she cheated, it just appears that way right now. Correct?
The hardest part is having to come to the realization that she really doesn't care at all about you anymore- the person you knew and loved and who loved you is gone - changed forever. It might take you awhile to be able to accept that but the quicker you move on the better. Worst thing you could do in your life right now is think you can get her back and change her mind.
Sounds good in theory, but . I think - as long as there are no children involved - you cut bait and walk in a situation like this. Once someone betrays that trust, you can never go back. It's not something you can "fix". IMO, of course. If there ARE children involved, you do everything humanly possible to save the marriage.
If you think that everything humanly possible should be done to save a marriage if children are involved, why not do everything humanly possible to save a marriage if no children are involved? Personally, I don't know the original poster or his wife so there is no advice I can give other than to search his own heart and decide what is best for he and his wife.
Dude, I would go Dee-bo on his a$$, and do this: <table cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="210px" style="border:1px solid #C0C0C0"><tr><td style="padding:3px;border-bottom:1px solid #C0C0C0" bgcolor="#ececec" align="center"><a href="http://www.nothingtoxic.com/" title="Humor videos"><img src="http://media1.break.com/nt/i/share_logo.png" border="0"></td></tr><tr><td><font style="font:normal 10px Verdana"><b>Cheaters Boat Used as Wrecking Ball</b></font></td></tr><tr><td align="center"><a href="http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1227224253/Cheaters_Boat_Used_as_Wrecking_Ball"><img border=0 src="http://media1.break.com/nt/thumb/8a/ac/8aac81c7260500714c6d306c9a2ea88e.jpg"></a></td></tr><tr><td><font style="font:normal 9px Verdana">Man how loud was she moaning that they didnt hear a giant crane pull up?</font></td></tr></table>Get <a href="http://www.nothingtoxic.com/">humor videos</a> at <a href="http://www.nothingtoxic.com/">NothingToxic</a>
Hire a hooker to seduce that other dude, if he'd start a relationship with a married women then he will hump anything. Good luck Bro
I'm only going through my experience and what I've read up on the subject, but there is nothing that will change her mind. She may go to counseling, but she'll look at it as a big waste of time. in fact, she'll probably look at it as him trying to control the way she feels and thinks. I'm all for trying to make things work. Like I said, we have a 4 yr. old son and I wanted to do anything to keep our family together, but there is only so much you can do and control. She's like a drug addict now. She's addicted to the high she's getting from being around this other guy and it reasoning with herself to make it seem right and to be around her addiction more. You can't change a drug addict until they are ready to be changed for themselves. Same goes for this situation. At some point, something will happen that will rock her little fantasy and she'll come out of the fog. But, there is nothing you can really do to get her out of it until she's ready herself. I agree. You have to try to make it work for your kid(s). They are the most important part of it all. I DESPERATELY wanted to make it work despite the affair, despite her doing anything and everything to try to ruin me in multiple ways. It just got to a point I couldn't deal with the person I didn't know anymore. It's like an alien abducted the woman I knew for so long. Plus, her mom was OK with everything she was doing, if you can believe it. Hell, she's still with the low-class loser who, as far as I know, is STILL married with two kids of his own. I knew, even if we did reconcile, I would wonder every time she walked out the door or be able to ever trust her again.
sccdct34 - I feel for you man. Move on. One thing to remember...women are like streetcars. There is always another one coming down the track.
1. People might be jumping to conclusions thinking that she's had sex with the other guy. I don't think you should let your advice be governed by that assumption. 2. Counseling may well be a good idea. 3. I don't want to distract from the subject, but I find it interesting reading all the responses how many people's advice is to take steps to protect one's pride. I can see some value in preserving or bolstering your self-respect, but I wonder if that should really be the OP's governing priority.
It's an interesting point...but much of that advice comes from those who have been in similar situations. Perhaps their only regret is that they didn't hold onto theirs.
One more thing. As the saying goes... Once one door closes another one opens up. Once one hole closes another one opens sometimes even two if your lucky Keep your head up. Be confident. Stay strong stay ready.
There is no doubt this probably hurts a lot, and if it didn't then there would be something wrong. However, you deserve much better than to have a wife who is not stable enough to realize that a marriage requires work from both parties. She says shes bored? Well, she should be mature enough to realize that everything can't be perfect all the time and there may be times when the relationship starts getting stagnant. It's in those times that you identify the problems and fix them which you clearly are willing to. You definitely don't need someone who escapes problems instead of solving them. She probably did think of that dude as a little brother and talked to him about yalls problems only to be brainwashed by him. She is not giving you the respect you deserve, so you should take this as a blessing that she is letting you go because in the end you're better off.
Marriage is a roller coaster, got to take the good with the bad.......but in the end, it is magic. If she has moved on, you need to do the same. Once a cheater, always a cheater. DD
I agree with you for the most part. If there are children involved, you have to do everything possible to save the marriage. However, if my wife cheated on me and just walked out, I don't know how I could ever look at her the same.
I think in most cases once those vows are broken, there's no going back. If the only thing at stake is getting your feelings hurt in the short term (ie. no kids together), you’re better off in the long term finding someone who is more committed to a relationship/marriage. Much better than getting back together and then having her cheat 4 years down the line after you’ve had 2 kids together. Again, just my flea bitten opinion. What would you think about your wife staying out with some dude she works with until 5 in the morning? It don’t take a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. And even if there’s no sex, that’s not the point. Mental affairs are just as bad as physical affairs. Some would argue they are worse.
