[S.O.S] Do you hold a grudge towards your Ex?(pics included)

i really really need to read that book. heard it was a bit "darker" then the movie

 

Can you say more about what you mean here?

Do you ache physically? Do you just long for the happy times that you miss? Is your wife aware of this? Does that ever hurt her?

You say the pain is "always" there... do you mean continuously or recurrent?

Between my two marriages, I had a couple of relationships that went sour (and they terminated them). I was somewhat hurt and disappointed and longed for what I missed for awhile but I didn't put them on pedestals and re-set my thinking as to why maybe the dis-solution was a good thing for me. Is anyone really that perfect?

I got back in the hunt. A few months later I met my wife. That was 12 years and 2 kids ago...

 

I understand your need to say stuff because you are with someone, and that is cool.

But also respect those of us who are willing to wait for actual love.

Allright kids, I'm out. I plan on watching thr Texans game tomorrow.

Be sure that I'll say something stupid afterwards.

Enjoy.

 

I don't think holding a grudge over ex's is the right thing, although in your case, conquistador#11, I do understand. It's ridiculous just ridiculous to think that someone would do such a horrid thing and I'm sorry you had to go through that in your toughest times.

I've been cheated on and it took me 3 months to get over it and I don't really hold a grudge, just made me more conscious and less trusting. Also my last relationship ended with a huge bang as we both went psycho on each other.. that was interesting, but I can't really hold a grudge once I get over it.

I'm not one to talk though, I know things definitely change when sh*t like that happens to you. I'm not one to wish bad things upon someone but I'd probably wish bad things would happen to her if I were in your shoes.. you never know.

I hope you're doing fine. Keep your head up!

 

the best revenge is living well.

Go hard my brother.

 

I mean.... At least once a day, I think about her. How happy I was. How happy we were. How much in love we were. How beautiful she was. How I meant it when I said, "forever". How much I believed it when she said "forever". How much it hurt. How it still hurts. How terrible it was for her to cut it off the way she did. How terrible it was that she never regretted it. Never apologized. Never looked back...

That thought occurs in a fraction of a second. In the next second, I think.

It can't be changed. My life has moved on. I have a wonderful wife now, and a wonderful family. Nothing can be gained from dwelling on it. Keep moving forward and continue finding happiness without her.

That thought also occurs in a fraction of a second.

The first thought will make me frown.. maybe wince... for just a moment. Then I take a breath, focus on the next thought, and get back to life.

 

ouch..

I guess I should consider myself fortunate.. mine has apologized, regretted a bit and looked back some.. while trying to move forward and to forget the bad stuff.. we're slowly trying to be friends again.


your post just made me realize that although plenty was lost between us.. not everything was.. and that at least.. there's some hope.

 

Man, I hope your wife doesn't read this forum. Ouch.

 

That must have been a powerful disappointment for you... all these years later. Do you feel like it dampers your life now?

I have fleeting recollections of special times in my life-- some of them involve other women... even my ex-wife but it doesn't make me long for them in any significant way. Lust maybe!

 

This is slowly turning into sad b*stard ex thread.

I still miss my ex in Argentina. And it's been 4 years. She was the love of my life.

 

I don't allow it to affect my life now, no. Like I said, I'm not a whiny mopy guy. It's like looking down at a tattoo every day and seeing it. It's there. Can't be changed. Move on.

I told my wife about this many years ago. There's nothing to be gained from dwelling on it. It's there. Can't be changed. Move on.

I've got a great family and lot of wonderful things in my life and I'm happy.

 

Its easier for you since you are a girl, but guys like holding grudges. Or at least I do, fuels fire inside of you.

 

oh yeah.. girls don't like holding grudges..

 

Uhhhhh... huh?

All my life's experiences have told me the opposite is true: women hold grudges much longer than men. Men are far more likely to blow up, cuss, scream etc., then be fine with it in a shorter period of time. Women are far more likely to hold a grudge so long they won't even remember what the other person did to them by the end of it.

 

I would like to preface this by saying I haven't read any of this thread other than the first few posts.

As for holding grudges, they are ALL an incredible waste of time and energy no matter who they are held against.

 

idk but if a girl screws you over it just seems more natural for a guy to be more angry for a longer time. But if you screw a girl over they dont really stay angry with u for too long, they just b**** a lot and whine, its not actual anger or hate. Or thats how it seems to me at least.

 

In my experience, you just SEE the anger from guys a little more. It's more obvious. They might be really angry for months. Girls are really angry for like a couple weeks, then they quietly simmer and stay low-level mad for years to come.

Heck, I was much angrier than my ex-fiancee was in the first couple months (granted, I had much more reason to be mad, since she's the one who cheated on me)... but now that's mostly gone. She's still mad though... over damn near nothing. Heck, she's the one who ended everything...

 

err i had a feeling after reading this thread i would break up with my gf...

 

This is true!

My ex isn't speaking to me at all...it has been almost 3 months last time we spoke. Yeah, he really loved me.