[S.O.S] Do you hold a grudge towards your Ex?(pics included)

From someone who has been through heartache before, the last thing you want to hear, but I'm going to type it anyways:

There are too many good people out there to get stuck on the last one, not matter how deeply involved with them they were.

Its just not worth spending quality time of your life yearning or feeling bitter towards someone in your past.

Its fairly obvious that this person was not the right person if that is actually how they ended the relationship, so at least you found out about it before things got more serious. I know its hard, but there are just too many single, warm hearted, beautiful people in this world to get caught up in fretting about the last one.

I know this all sounds stupid, but I think its the truth from personal experience.

 

If you don't mind me asking (I don't think I saw it mentioned earlier), but how long were you with this woman as an exclusive couple?

Boy, the more I read this BBS, the happier I am that I am no longer single!

 

if nothing else, there's always murder-suicide...


i almost feel the need to say i'm just joking. almost.

 

If it makes you feel any better, she muttered your name in her sleep on the few occasions I met her.

Get over it...

 

Conquistador,

when you see her, whip it out, and slap her across the face with it.

Sincerely,

Dude

 

Relationships are wonderful. Everything is rosy... IN THE ROMANCE NOVELS. (not that I read them)

 

my ex was still telling me she loved me 8 months after i found out she cheated on me

oddly enough, i still think about her more than i should... sometimes negatively, other times positively. i've caught myself thinking about her more as of late, but that's basically attributed to the fact that i haven't dated anyone since i moved back to houston in january, so it's easy to reminisce.

women.... cant live with 'em, can't kill them all.

 

you just gotta face it, we're just a bunch of drama-hoarding b****-fiends that ruin men's lives.

 

Three years. I could go on, but don't want to derail the thread.

 

I remember my 1st serious relationship, although it dosnt really count since both of us were really young (me 18, her 16). She abruptly broke up with me and, just like some others, I was told I was loved the day before. The funny thing though is that I found out a month later she was dating a pizza delivery guy (age in the 20s) and lost her virginity to him. Me and her were together for over a year...

I was hurt big time and it affected my life in more ways than I should of let it. It hurt but life goes on. Im in a better place now because of it and my wife is a lot better than anyone I could imagine anyways. "There are plenty of fish in the sea" although some of them smell and have diseases ...

 

That is one of the most awful breakup stories I've ever heard.

What a completely awful b**** of a woman.

 

ditch the b****...don't worry about it man.

..just go Patrick Bateman style!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5acl9umsFY

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bateman is my hero.

 

Ya gotta move on without snubbing her.

You really can't win. What you're feeling right now is, you want to show her that she made a mistake... you want to make her really regret what she did.

But she won't.

She doesn't care about you any more. Not enough to feel bad about dumping you. The reason she dumped you is because her feelings for you are empty now, and because she doesn't care about you any more, she won't feel regret. You can only have bad feelings for that which you care about.

The best you can do is shift your focus onto continuing your life outside of love. Focus on hobbies, friends, job, activities, eating, sleeping, Rockets, Texans, or any of your other interests. When your thoughts drift back to her, which they surely will, you must tell yourself it's over. It hurts, but it can't be changed. Gotta move on. Walk. Left foot. Right foot. Eat lunch. Work. Go to sleep. Do it again tomorrow.

Then, 15 years later, you can post your pain on an internet bbs.

 

what did you have? btw

 

Creepy.....I was thinking the EXACT SAME thing just now.

 

punch her in the face

 

Yup.

It hasn't even been three months since my fiancee cheated on me, then ran off with a separate guy a week later. It was really hard for awhile... I made a thread about it. And I certainly still think about it.

But you know what made it so much easier? Being the bigger person, all the time. Taking the high road. When you do that, your ex can only look at themselves and see that it was them that messed up, not you. Your ex WANTS you to act pissy at them and hold a grudge... because that way it's easier for them to convince themselves that YOU'RE the jerk, not the other way around.

Plus, the more I took the high road and the more my ex didn't, the more I've realized how lucky I am that I didn't end up marrying someone that selfish, unloving, and bitter.

And there's more! The more you take the high road and she doesn't, the more your mutual friends will support you. My ex has this friend she's had since gradeschool, who I only ever even met twice. Twice, for god's sake. And now this same friend is so ticked off at what my ex did, she said she's not even sure she ever wants to speak to her again. And every one of our other mutual friends had that same type of reaction, just not to the extreme of never wanting to speak to her again. It's definitely eye-opening to have that kind of support. All you have to do is take the high road with her, and people will recognize that.

It's win-win-win to just forgive her. Don't hold a grudge. You can do better than her.


About the whole trust thing... that's something I'm still feeling a little bit. But hey, I've got friends I can really trust, and I'm sure you do too. There are fewer of them than one might hope, eh? But the point is, they do exist. You just have to be patient enough to find one. AND happy enough... no worthwhile woman is ever going to be attracted to a guy who is moping all the time and bitter all the time, no matter how justified he may be. Smile!

 

Life is full of JOY and Sorrow......don't dwell on
the sorrow to much or you'll miss out on all the joy
that lay ahead. The good book say's that as a man
thinketh so he is! Her breaking up with you could
actually be the best thing that could have happened
to you. Everyone stays by your side when everything
is going great but only a person who really cares
about you will be with you no matter what!
Like Bobby Mcferrin said "Don't worry be Happy".