[S.O.S] Do you hold a grudge towards your Ex?(pics included)

No doubt.

 

does your wife know how you feel about that.

by the way i know how you feel..

 

I hold a grudge, because my ex still tries to make my life hard, and the only reason she is still in my life is because of my son. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, but I've learned to expect underhanded things from her, and if noting happens, no problem.

 

So.... I'm guessing you have thrown her before?

 

Out of my life...

 

Sorta. She knows how much it meant to me. She knows I still hurt from it.

But we don't talk about it much (certainly a wife wouldn't like talking in-depth about such a thing).

And, really, there's nothing to be gained by talking about it. It's done. It's over.

I learned a long time ago that I can't wait for the pain to stop... 'cause it won't.

 

Wow. That is odd. In 1995, my fiance dumped me, screwed around with one of my frat brothers, and got engaged roughly 8 months later on the news. (the guy was an anchor. One of those surprise proposals.)

I was pissed at her for a while. Then I saw her a couple years later @ a wedding and told her how wrong I thought her behavior was. We didn't speak again for a few more years.

Then in 2000, she emailed me. We were both almost divorced, so we decided to meet up. We made out a few more times but became really close friends for the most part. Then in 2003, I met her new fiance, and I'll assume he didn't like our relationship because I haven't talked to her since.

That said, I no longer hold ill-will towards her, or feel bitter about any of it.

My ex-wife is a different story altogether, but that has a lot more to do with her behavior regarding my son and I than any bitterness towards how the relationship ended.

 

With your bad knees, you shouldn't be throwing anyone.

 

Well that sucks. 15 years and you're still hurting? Have you gone to counseling? That's about 3500 days of heartache.

 

It was worth every ounce of knee pain.

 

First of all, conquistador#11 I'm glad you made it through your cancer treatment and I hope everything goes well on your follow ups.

Second, you should go after the girl on the right in the picture. She's better looking anyway.

I don't hold a grudge against any of my ex's. I'm still good friends with one of them. What's that old saying... the best revenge is living a good life... or something like that.

Life is too short to hold grudges. I would think going through what you've been through, you would have figured that out by now. Move on, you can find someone better.

 

The only ex i've ever held bad feelings against is the one who started dating one of my closest friends within a few weeks of us breaking up.

Now I pity her because he's a worthless POS who is going no where in life and he is dragging her down with him.

 

Dude, not to go all Savage Love on you, but:
(1) You are laying way too much at her feet. Other people don't create you entire, and you can take ownership of how much your trust and what you're attitude is.

(2) There's nothing incompatible about her not being able to handle cancer on a personal level, but then fighting to cure it on a more universal level. Being with a sick person is just incredibly difficult, and some people feel like, if they aren't married, why would they do that? What would have been worse is if she had stayed with you motivated by guilt -- then you would have had a big helping of passive-aggressive resentment sandwich every day. Blech.

Sorry to have that take. Hope you get that everyone here wishes you the best with your treatments and your future health. God knows you're in the best place for treatment! It's just my take that the sooner you put her behind you, the better your whole mind and body will be going forward.

But in answer to the question, no, I haven't held grudges.

 

I recall, Central Park in fall, how you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess...

 

Damn...I missed that one...oh well...

 

Forgiveness. It can be very difficult sometimes. But that's what you need to be able to do...forgive her.

I would suggest you start down that path. I might even go speak to a counselor or a pastor. Soon.

 

Yeah.

Shortly after it happened I went to a therapist. After a short while, it was apparent to the therapist that she couldn't help me, so she referred me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist just prescribed me strong sleep medication. After a while I stopped going and stopped the medication.

Then, years later, went to another therapist, and then another.

Bottom line: I paid for therapists and a psychiatrist and I feel I gained nothing from it. Just a bunch of talk. The fact is, nothing can be done. Talking doesn't help - in fact it hurts.

So, I find music that fits, wallow in that, then suck it up and push on.

 

c#11...that sucks. Sounds like you are better off without her, though breakups are rough and take a long time to get over

however, why are you posting her picture on this mb?

 

well you can try writing a journal!