A guy at a bar asked Ron Artest, "Can you give me that bottle in front of me?" Ron gave him a frontal lobotomy.
Ron Artest is dyslexic, agnostic, and an insomniac. He stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Ron Artest does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Ron Artest is what Willis was talking about. Ron Artest's penis is so big, it has an elbow. Death once had a near-Ron Artest experience. Ron Artest gets his Big Macs from Burger King.
Ron Artest doesn't use scuba diving equipment. He just holds his breath. Ron Artest refers to himself in fourth person. Ron Artest can split the atom with his bare hands. The chief export of Ron Artest is pain.
The fastest way to a man's heart is Ron Artest's fist. Ron Artest can clog your toilet... With his piss! Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Ron Artest can kill 100 percent. One time Ron Artest was pulled over for drunk driving. He blew a 777% on the Breathalyzer and the officer was given a warning.
Ron Artest helped the Rockets win the 2009 NBA championship. And honestly, I would take that any day over the ability to pull atoms apart with my fist.
Artest was sent to anger management sessions after he abused his 3 years old classmate who threw a cup with milk at him in kindergarten.
Artest used to be the brand of basketball. But it was changed to Spalding since no NBA player can make any layup with it.
November 13, 1979 While playing center for Philadelphia, Darryl Dawkins shattered a backboard with a slam-dunk during the Sixers’ 110-103 loss at Kansas City. They later found out that it was actually shattered by Ron Artest being born. http://www.nba.com/history/this_date_november.html
Ron Artest doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. Ron Artest has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. Noah was the only man notified before Ron Artest relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
