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Responses to the infamous "Do I look fat?" question

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Buck Turgidson, Jul 16, 2003.

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  1. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    "No, not to Stevie Wonder."

    "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

    "Does this tie make me look stupid?"

    "No hablo ingles."

    "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."

    "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

    "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."

    "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

    "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

    "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

    "Whoa! A talking couch!!"

    "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"

    Feel free to contribute your own.
     
    #1 Buck Turgidson, Jul 16, 2003
  2. Mrs. JB

    Mrs. JB Member

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    "Fat? Are you kidding?? You look great! In fact, I was just going to ask you if you had LOST some weight."

    That's how a wise man answers the "fat" question. :)
     
    #2 Mrs. JB, Jul 16, 2003
  3. ChenZhen

    ChenZhen Contributing Member

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    or...

    "Keep on eating what you're eating, I love fat chunky girls"
     
    #3 ChenZhen, Jul 16, 2003
  4. bamaslammer

    bamaslammer Contributing Member

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    I would start busting out some Sir Mixalot:
    [Sir Mix-a-Lot]
    I like big butts and I can not lie
    You other brothers can't deny
    That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
    And a round thing in your face
    You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
    'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
    Deep in the jeans she's wearing
    I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
    Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
    And take your picture
    My homeboys tried to warn me
    But with that butt you got makes <Me so horny>
    Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
    You say you wanna get in my Benz?
    Well, use me, use me
    'Cause you ain't that average groupy
    I've seen them dancin'
    The hell with romancin'
    She's wet, wet,
    Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
    I'm tired of magazines
    Sayin' flat butts are the thing
    Take the average black man and ask him that
    She gotta pack much back
    So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
    Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
    Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
    Shake that healthy butt!
    Baby got back!
     
    #4 bamaslammer, Jul 16, 2003
  5. codell

    codell Contributing Member

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    This thread is going to break down into a "your momma is so fat" joke thread any minute now ....................
     
    #5 codell, Jul 16, 2003
  6. coma

    coma Contributing Member

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    "No, not at all! It just accentuates your big bones."
     
    #6 coma, Jul 16, 2003
  7. drapg

    drapg Member

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    "I've seen fatter."

    "Compared to what?"

    "Huh? What did you say? Sorry, I was thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you croaked."

    "Fat is a relative term, honey" (see you add the 'honey' to make it sound sweeter... and since she's fat, she obviously enjoys sweets)
     
    #7 drapg, Jul 16, 2003
  8. VooDooPope

    VooDooPope Love > Hate
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    You don't look as Fat as yesterday.
     
    #8 VooDooPope, Jul 16, 2003
  9. mr_gootan

    mr_gootan Member

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    You know what they say, honey. "The more the cushion..."

    P-H-A-T

    Stop reading those fitness magazines, they're bad for my health.
     
    #9 mr_gootan, Jul 16, 2003
  10. coma

    coma Contributing Member

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    Oh yea baby, you look so phat.
     
    #10 coma, Jul 16, 2003
  11. PhiSlammaJamma

    PhiSlammaJamma Member

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    Do you still fit into that mirror I bought you?
     
    #11 PhiSlammaJamma, Jul 16, 2003
  12. JBIIRockets

    JBIIRockets Contributing Member

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    I've actually never seen one of these in my 2 plus years of being here, and am tempted to start one.
     
    #12 JBIIRockets, Jul 16, 2003
  13. MoBalls

    MoBalls Contributing Member

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    Hey Fat women need lovin too...

    my anwser

    Of course not baby, how could you think that.............now pass me the ketchup and stop stealing my damn fries!
     
    #13 MoBalls, Jul 16, 2003
  14. Bogey

    Bogey Contributing Member

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    Where's AB at? This seems like the perfect thread for him.:)
     
    #14 Bogey, Jul 16, 2003
  15. RocketMan Tex

    RocketMan Tex Contributing Member

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    OK, RocketMan "Mr. Mischief" Tex will begin....

    You're Mama is so fat that Roseanne Barr took one look at her and said "damn...you sure are fat"!
     
    #15 RocketMan Tex, Jul 16, 2003
  16. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    Just quote some Spinal Tap lyrics.

    The bigger the waist-band,
    The deeper the quicksand,
    You know what I mean.

    I met her on Sunday,
    Twas my lucky bun day,
    You know what I mean.

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo,
    I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo.

    Big Bottoms,
    Big Bottoms,
    Talk about mudflaps,
    My girls got 'em

    Big bottoms drive me out of my mind,
    How could I leave this behind
     
    #16 ima_drummer2k, Jul 16, 2003
  17. Tonaaayyyy

    Tonaaayyyy Member

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    Lady: Do I look fat?
    Me: Ewwwwww don't look at me..
     
    #17 Tonaaayyyy, Jul 16, 2003
  18. JBIIRockets

    JBIIRockets Contributing Member

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    here's a classic,

    your mama is so fat, she uses HWY 6 for a slip-n-slide.
     
    #18 JBIIRockets, Jul 16, 2003
  19. RocketMan Tex

    RocketMan Tex Contributing Member

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    Your mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house!
     
    #19 RocketMan Tex, Jul 16, 2003
  20. bamaslammer

    bamaslammer Contributing Member

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    Your momma is so fat . . .

    She has to wear a sock on each toe.

    Yomomma's so fat, when she wears high heels she strikes oil.

    LOL !!!!!!!!!

    :D
     
    #20 bamaslammer, Jul 16, 2003
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