come on guys...lets respect the lady's wishes. there are far too many folks reading this forum to out isabel as far as location/name/workplace...(yes..I do know all three..but I aint saying)
While reading the posts in this thread, I am wondering is marriage still a necessity in a "perfect" society? Also, is divorced or widowed man or woman a lesser human being in such society (admitting it or not, this is the case in today's society)? Before you accuse me one way or another, please try to address this fundamental question, why one needs to get married in a "perfect" society? Lets say in a "perfect" society, a person doesn't have to get married to - have a long lasting companion; - have intimacy with someone; - show affection, adoration, and dedication to someone; - have financial security; - have a confidant; - have and raise children (naturally children don't have qualm even if both parents are not with them); - get taken care of if one is unable to do that oneself due to illness or aging; - achieve a sense of fulfillment or reaching a milestone in one's life-long journey.
How can I miss this one. Ferdinand loves geology. As Red put in Shawshank Redemption: "Geology is the study of pressure and time. That's all it takes really, pressure, and time."
if you're going to quote a song, do it RIGHT, Bolo: "IT MUST HAVE been love... but it's over now..." Thank you, everyone, for degrading marriage. Take the easy way out, huh?
I wouldnt say that.... I used to think marriage was for chumps before I actually found someone that could put up with me.... the moral of this story is "Be damn sure that you are getting married for the right reasons and to the right person."
you aint just whistlin dixie brutha. Im not the easiest person to deal with..and I had ahelluva time finding a woman who could not only deal with and forgive my many failings...but be palatable for me to deal with on a everyday basis. we have been together for 15 yrs now...none of my previous relationships lasted longer than a year.
awesome. i've only been married 5 years but i've got 2 gorgeous boys, so far so good. and, i still like to give the wife the business, ya know
cool... we hav eactually only been married 11 years...we lived together for 3 years before marriage to make sure we could deal... I know some look at it as living in sin...but for us...it ensured that we knew exactly what we were getting into...if more folks did it like that...maybe the divorce rate wouldnt be like it is.
To those who care, Click on Isabel's link to her journal in her sig - she has an update on her situation. It is not too good right now for her. Hang in there, Izzy.
Damn Isabel, this is rough. "-He looked it up and, according to the Catholic Church (his church, btw, not mine), you're not supposed to withhold sex from your husband or wife. It's supposed to be a sin. (I really do not get this. If you don't feel that you love your partner... if they just are not being loving enough to inspire those feelings in you... then you're supposed to put out even though you don't mean it? That's worse.)" Ok I am now officially in the "leave this loser" camp.
I don't get this whole Catholic thing that he has going on - I am under the complete understanding that if he truly is Catholic, surely this would also mean that he would have married a Catholic as well? From what you write you aren't necessarily strictly Catholic (as opposed to maybe some form of Christianity?). Also, he had to look this up?! Doesn't seem like his knowledge is up to scratch and actually using it as an argument is weak. Could someone please verify this view of Catholicism that I have? I definitely know that the "true" Catholic Church would not approve of Catholics marrying non-Catholics.
I've been married to one for almost 3 decades, Sishir. I'm agnostic, and she's a non-practicing Catholic (except for 2 or 3 times a year), who went to Catholic schools until her last year of middle school, if I'm remembering correctly. Her sister teaches in a Catholic school, and her uncle is a priest. As far as the Church is concerned, I think we're supposed to go to hell.
Isabel -- Why should he beleive you're leaving? You've been telling us for a year how horrible things are with him, seeking advice, support, and reassurance every step of the way, and yet you're still there. At a certain point it stops being his fault, irregardless of how bad he's behaving. You need to take responsibility for your own situation.
Thanks Manny and others... I appreciate the support. Especially since we both had the day off today with nothing to do, it's been rough in here. I wouldn't mind getting another place to crash... but again we don't have the extended-stay things out here, and I don't know if it's too soon to sign a six-month lease. He is not taking it very well, and I feel really bad to be inflicting this upon him. He wants to work on it "together". I will go to counseling with him and all that, but I just don't want to have to be "together" with him if I don't feel like it. To me, the relationship was just messed up from the beginning and it feels like it was never meant to be. It was working for him, but not me. If we work on it "together", I will just feel trapped and unhappy at this point. So, what I'm looking for here is whether I have justification to say, "sorry, it's too late for me." Morally, etc. And, if so, how to help him get through it, and what to do next. Any insight would be appreciated.
