I agree. She is young and this type of behavior in young people is pretty common but most of them grow out of it.
Just enjoy the ride and jump out before the plane hits the mountain. And when you jump, be courteous, leave a second parachute for her.
You did the right thing, when you start to feel like almost a father figure trying to direct her and make her see certain things you see or have ambitions and so fourth its not good for you, and in the end you will be hurt.. more then now, trust me please. no matter how beautiful her heart may seem, she has alllotttt of things she needs to experience
QFT. OP, I've been in that same situation, and trust me, you definitely did the right thing. It took a while and a few terrible events for the message to finally get through my thick skull, so you're well ahead of the curve. Don't worry, things will work out. If your path goes the same as mine did, the woman that you're looking for is right around the corner.
I think its silly to project an age of when you are looking to get married. You get married when you find the right person, fall in love, and decide you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. At what age this happens does not matter. When it happens it happens.
I see your point of view bro. I am certain of one thing. In life our plans will always change. I don't think it hurts to try to plan an age where you want to be married, have kids etc. The problem comes when you miss opportunities or force the issue just to comply with your set rules. Obviously if I meet the woman of my dreams I will probably change my mind.
Always use your brain in a relationship. Hearts don't know any better. Hearts don't reason, or know logic. Hearts just want to not feel pain. So if you listen to your heart, you end up making stupid decisions. The only thing our hearts care about is not suffering, so listening to them will make you do dumb things. Even stay in a relationship that you know you shouldn't be in, all for the sake of not feeling that heartache.
Approved. You two could have easily grown to resent each other. Although, at some point in the future, your work might get stressful enough that you want a free-spirit to come home to, as opposed to a Lady MacBeth, Nancy Reagan or Hillary Rodham Clinton.
most people don't fully know or understand their own hearts.. what you've described has nothing to do with one's heart.. but the very innate and counterproductive human trait of emotional impulse.. eager to dive into what's most readily pleasurable and/or safe.. as guided and dictated by the convinient accordance to one's own fears and doubts.. of being without.. of trying again from the beginning.. to the same uncertain returns and results.. or to one's much worse.. and all that comes from the mind.. whether a panicked, primitive mind.. or scattered, cluttered civilized mind.. where we cloud our true wants and heartfelt desires with fleeting preferences.. overanalyzed situations and ends.. and irreconcilably mix and match ideals with practicality.. as someone else pointed out in this thread.. rather accurately.. if you spend enough time with someone.. in their life.. and they possess basic "good" qualities.. or qualities you yourself seek to find.. if not all.. one or two.. you're bound to "love" that person.. to a degree.. as the old advice given to you on the occasion of your first heartbreak.. it won't be the last time you fall in love.. or "there'll be others in your ilfe".. etc.. it's true.. however, if you take the time to reflect on all these people you eventually/inevitably grow to love.. you realize that not all of them are people you'd find yourself so immediately able to do, try, or go through anything.. all and everything for.. therein lies the difference.. between the human emotional impulse.. which is really just an extension of our social nature.. where really love and lust are merely interchangeable.. and feeling that stems from the actual heart.. it really should be obvious.. one comes and goes.. while the other is undeniable..
You absolutely did the right thing. Popular culture has brainwashed everyone into thinking that the most important thing in choosing a spouse is knowing whether you "truly love" each other, at the expense of everything else. As I like to tell people, love is NOT blind. That is a lie. Smart, mature people love with their eyes wide open. Your brain should be the one leading, not your heart. To do otherwise is to indulge in temporary euphoria that is followed by a lifetime of hurt. Someone once told me: Immaturity is simply the inability to delay gratification. Don't derail your future and destiny because of temporary emotions.
It's just a commitment. If you two are willing to go through anything together than go for it. But the important thing is do they have a future because financial problems usually break marriages up. Secondly, do they share your values? Remember this is the person who is going to raise your child. The "fun" girl is not the girl you want to marry.
you did the right thing. like tina turner said, whats love got to do with it LOL. Our feelings/emotions and our mind are 2 totally different things. El corazon es enganoso...the heart is deceiving. People make decisions solely on what they're feeling and that is not the way to do it. Whether they act upon anger, bitterness, sadness, love...whatever. Base your decision upon not only your feelings but what you THINK in your mind is the right thing to do. I'm glad you saw this now and not later on. Good for you.
I wonder when we started to get the idea that love, as an emotion, was the vital thing in a marriage. Obviously, if there's no attraction or affection in the first place then that could be a problem. But as others have said, it takes a great deal more. Your emotions are too fickle to make a marriage last. JV and I had a very hard time deciding to get married because of some significant (and continuing) differences. Obviously, we did get married and predictably (if you knew us then) our marriage is relatively healthy. That said, I still wouldn't suggest that others overlook those differences because they do matter. I didn't understand how much until later. Thanks for putting up with me for the last 10 years Juan Valdez!
