Relationships: Culture Clash with her family?

i think miguel is salvadorian, you should ask him if his family is insufferable, although i think he actually likes them. he's cool so i dunno. jury's still out.

family cultures are interesting. each of my parents are very much estranged from their immediate families - neither speak to their siblings/parents/aunts/uncles/cousins. add in the fact that's it just them, me and my sis and it makes for a very quiet and quick holidays - never at my parents' for more than one night a year (xmas eve). i'm just not very family oriented, and i've only ever dated guys who also weren't family oriented. some people are just really into that, like they actually hang out with their COUSINS and **** (blows my mind), i mean i've met my cousins and they seem cool but i guess it's just never meant a lot to me that we're related. i love my aunts, but i'm ok with seeing them every 5-6 years. it would be super weird to evvvvvery year during the holidays be thrown into an environment where i can't just get stoned and mind my own business. having to give the same canned responses to several people asking me about my life and how my job is and who i'm dating and when i'm going to have babies. EW. nope, not for me. socializing is hard. also i hate most people

 

I'm white from Houston and my wife is Japanese from Hawaii. I've visited her folks half a dozen times by now (yes, in Hawaii) and while the culture's pretty different, it's not bad or anything. Just... different. Her mom's english isn't super great, and her dad is super local, has trouble hearing, and speaks Hawaiian pidgin dialect which confuses me quite often. Communication with them can be tricky, but sticking with pretty simple phrases works.

I've gotten used to eating spam (it's a Hawaii thing), lots of raw fish, and dealing without internet when I'm out there. Not the life for me, but fortunately, it's not the life for my wife, too!

Just keep in mind that in-laws typically get seen in small doses, so you can bear with a lot of stuff you're uncomfortable with. Two weeks with her folks isn't going to kill a many year relationship or marriage. Just roll with it if it's in small doses. If your wife/girlfriend cares about you enough, you should be able to tell her it's kind of uncomfortable and she should be cognizant of it, too.

However, if it's constantly, like months of a year, how bearable her family is becomes more important.

 

45k is no joke for 21 yro.

Instead of acting obnoxious or conforming, just be more upfront about your opinions. Be confident and tell them where you stand. Some people conflate confidence with douchebaggery and will respect that because they assume that's where you stand and try to respect that. It's great that that's not how you roll but you're not giving them a fair shake by letting them know how you roll.

You told us your salary. Whatever they react to it doesn't matter. The main problem is that you think it's garbage or at a point where it might be sore point to talk about with acquaintances.

Treat that mindset with other sore topics they pick at and you'll know more about yourself and her family.

Her family is a part of who she is, so it's something to approach meaningfully, especially for family centric cultures.

 

Just try your hardest to have a good time with the fam. You'll get used to it, especially if they're passing around cervesas.

 

I have a feeling that you don't try to get to know or be nice to the family. I hope I am wrong, because if this is true, youre not doing yourself or the girl any favors. In fact, you are setting yourself up to fail. And it will be your fault. You are the one trying to be a part of THEIR family, not the other way around. Try harder. Find common ground. I realize you are young, but get over yourself and above all, be nice, and have some manners.
Good luck!!