[Relationship Thread] Why won't it ever work out for me?

That sucks RM!

If you are ever at Minute Maid and wanna hit one of the two bars right next door to it after the game lemme know and I will buy you a few rounds.

I know you say that she is wonderful and that all your problems as a couple are your fault. But to pack up without a word is not "wonderful" behavior. In fact it kind of sucks.

PS My gf of 15 months dumped me last week...there must be something in the frigging water.

 

I think there is something in the water...Having issues myself...

Girls suck. Throw rocks at them.

 

You need to start talking to more girls and going on more dates! It looks like you were set on this ONE girl who turned out not to be interested. Think about it, all this time you could have been talking to new girls who would be into you.

Also, I think you need to make a move earlier. After 2-3 dates I think there should be some sort of move to at least first base! If the girl rejects it, then it's a good sign to move on to other girls.

 

Vengeance, you're young. Everything is upside for you. It's all good. This is really better. You have to get out and have to date 3 or 4 girls at once before you can really say you're ready to settle with one. Then, you'll know. You'll be working from a place of abundance, not need.

DON'T pull the trigger until you are older. At least 28. Preferably 30. If you miss one, eh. The more years you wait, the better off you are, the higher quality you deserve and demand.

If you really want dating techniques, they are out there. I'll be happy to send you some things. The main thing is to develop your own sense of fun in the process. Your first paragraph is great...remember that, just learn a little more about how to approach and do the dance. Every species has a mating dance. You just have to learn a few more triggers, and it's all good for you.

The simple advice is - rejection diminishes you not one iota. There are 6 billion people on the planet. You have a great future

RM95 - That sucks. Horrible. But you will be good, man. The world is your oyster. You'll be stronger, and better, it will happen.

 

RM95,

Sorry bro that sucks, when I get to H-town, a night of debauchery is on me.

DD

 

care to email some as well pasox?

ts5818@yahoo.com if you get a chance. appreciated.

 

Youre thinking about this way to much. Dont premeditate things, just be yourself.

 

sure, it's easy when you can paso doble, cha cha cha, tango, and waltz with your eyes closed.

 

whoa!

 

Ditto! I'm feeling bad for both of you guys. Worse for RM95, because he had the relationship you're looking for, Vengence, or thought he had it.

Wow. Total bummer.

 

maybe you don't like chicks

 

That's messed up. Sorry RM 95. That is just crazy. Sounds like you were sucker punched. I thought from very limited info regarding the board that things were on much more positive swing. It is just crazy that she pulled that with no real communication. It isn't fair, and I'm sure it feels like hell right now.

Vengeance, just try and learn from what happened with this girl. Sometimes it is OK that you have feelings that she doesn't know about. She definitely has feelings that you will never know the depths of, for good, bad or other.

Also you were brave. It took a lot of courage to do what you did, so feel happy about it.

 

Vengeance;

I can really sympathize with this plight as I've been there too and know how it feels. Here's what little wisdom I can impart to you.

When you're in a dry spell things sometimes have a way of piling up and it starts feeling one disaster after another. The problem is that when you feel like things are like that that often contributes to the problems that you are having. Women generally like people with positive attitudes about things. The woe is me attitude will tend to repel woman rather than attract them. So even though it feels like it sucks it helps if you can stay positive.

I can really sympathize with this. In the past 10 years I've met a couple of women who I've felt would be perfect for me, we've connected right away socially, have a lot in common and seem to have some mutual physical attraction to each other. The problem is they have been married.

Short of being a homewrecker there's not much you can do about that so its probably best to accept it and just move on. The positive about that though is that you know that there are woman out there who find you interesting and attractive so you know there are chances.

It sounds like a tough situation and like some other posters said you might've waited too long and might've come on way too strong. It might've been better to have just continued going on as is and gradually started to heat things up than suddenly blurting to her how strongly you feel. That's much easier said than done as one hates to feel like they are being strung along or are stringing themselves along. Some people, especially someone gettting out of a relationship just need more time. It sounds like you handled it as well as could and I would recommend trying to keep in touch with her. Let her know even if things don't work out you still don't mind hanging out with her and take it from there.

That said you still have to face the possibility that things just weren't meant to be with you and move on.

As other posters have said you're not old and your clock isn't running out. I know it can feel like that but you still have lots of time. IMO the biggest mistake that I think you can make is to believe that you are running out of time and feel desperate about getting in a relationship. Desperation is about the worst thing that you can have when attracting women.

As for feeling like you can make things work for everyone else and not yourself that's a very common feeling because its often easier to see someone else's problems than our own since we don't have as great of an emotional commitment that is often what is creating the problem. Sometimes the best thing to do is to try to detach from your own emotions and look at your own situation as though you were looking at someone else's. Again much easier said than done but I've found if you can separate yourself from your emotions you can figure out your own problems better.

I hope this was helpful and believe me I'm know Cassanova just another guy who's been there.

GOOD LUCK!

 

Damn... Sorry to hear about that RM95 and I might be down in Houston again near the end of July and will gladly contribute a few drinks to helping you get over that crappy situation.

I wil be happy to introduce you to some of my friends. Mr. Guiness and Mr. Jameson.

 

Maybe you could introduce him to some of those hot ballroom dancers you hang out with..

 

I did not read through the entire thread so I don't know what conclusions were reached if any, but if you are still looking for some help/advice you can contact me personally.

I have helped friends out with this kinda stuff before and am pretty good.

 

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RM95, I hope things look up for you soon.

You always have a shot if she's single and you're still active friends. Like others have mentioned, some women love the chase because the reality, in their opinion, is disappointing or anticlimactic. But there are other women who, once they get to know you better, will choose your reality. Usually they never tell you until you're nice and settled with someone else...

It depends on whether she's worth it to you to spend more time on her, or if your feelings about women is amplifying your attraction to her. You should have a good sense by now on whether she cares for you as a friend or she just likes the attention.

Focusing on your own stuff gives the other person a chance to know who you are and to show them what you're made of. To some women, that's a sign of independence, but it's another way of saying that they don't want codependent men because they want your attention.

I think it's partly why some women fall for guys who treat them like ****. They mistake that for something else or they want a thrill or challenge.

If you're healthy, not in debt, and working, then everything else is a bonus. Just have fun dating. If you have to worry, worry about it later.

 

yup been there myself to. did not see it coming at all. life can be funny at times.