[Relationship Thread] Bipolar Disorder

It's really hard to give you a good answer without seeing pics.

(I can't believe I'm the first to ask.)

 

Bipolar disorder is currently the 'trendy' diagnosis. There has been a very sharp rise in the number of people diagnosed in recent years and there are quite a few psychiatrists who believe many times is a result of other conditions being misdiagnosed.

I don't know, but my suggestion would be to not place too much faith in pigeonholing her with that diagnosis.

http://www.psychservices.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/52/5/687

My single experience with bat**** crazy women was that the endless drama on some level seemed to make the relationship more exciting and continued to draw me back like a moth to a flame, but following that analogy it was ultimately not a productive thing and I was just drawing myself back to be burned over and over.

 

thats a good point. Like ADD, i think its tend to be overdiagnosed. "im sad sometimes...i must be bipolar".

dont be so glib,

 

a friend of mine who i dated once was bipolar, i could only endure it for a month before i had to call it off. we havent really been great friends since but i think its for the better. it was a bit hard for me when one time she'll be really playful and carefree and then the next time i saw her she was just ice cold and just yelled at me the entire time about the smallest things. I had no idea what the deal was since I didnt know at the time and her brother told me. She is taking some meds now but unfortunately I dont know if she'll ever have a stable relationship ever.

 

I couldn't stay away from this thread and I've tried hard for many reasons,but I feel an obligation to you all who have or who are dealing with this.

My Mom's life was taken by her third husband, a bipolar manic depressive who then committed suicide.This happened seven years ago and I've just started really living again myself over the last few years.

This was my Grandmother's bestfriend's son...so they had known each other their whole life.
As a child I would hear my Grandmother on the phone with her friend saying "well,xxxxx's gone again.Little did I know how horribly this would touch my Mom's life....and my own.He was always taking off and running away...just disappearing....a trait very common with bi polars.xxxxx probably worked every job under the sun.He invariably would end up in hotel rooms and sleep long hours with blinds taped.He had math skills and over the course of his earlier life would invariably end up in Vegas to pay the bills via the tables.
Anyway xxxxx and my Mother hadn't seen each other in quite awhile when he popped up in her life about 10 - 11 years ago.I protested strongly when she announced they were getting married but acceded to her wishes when I saw how much she loved him and how happy she was.

What ensued was an odyssey through Heaven,Hell,and back again.
My mother and I were best friends so we saw each other plenty.But after she married him I was to call before coming to the house and she would meet me most of the time.(this might sound normal,but not for us)She struggled getting him situated with the right doctors,the right medicines,etc.....and keeping him on them which is very hard for bi polars esp....if they've spent much of their life all over the place and alone much of it.

About a year and a half in he took off and disappeared.He was listed as a missing person.After 6 months she got a couple of receipts from vegas.I had been there more than once so the two of us devised a plan.
We flew up together....she and I met with a police detective.
In addition she was filmed for the missing persons show in town.(which I saw on the tube while riding recumbent at the local Gold's)After a week she came home and I stayed as was our plan.
I was to be there three weeks looking for him and let me tell you I saw that whole town...from the toughest soup kitchens to the swankiest casinos.After two weeks no sign of him....then my Mother received a phone call from Arizona Medical Center on the Nevada/Arizona border.... Loughlin.He had attempted to kill himself by taking 200 klonopin.Somehow xxxx survived and I hurriedly packed the rental car and drove through the desert to pick him up.When I got there he was sitting on the front steps of the Hospital,still very drowsy,but obviously not about to wait around much longer.
I drove us straight to the airport and the authorities helped expedite us getting on the plane I had reserved ASAP.
When we finally hit Houston I stood at the entrance to the hangar and watched them run into each other's arms crying...just like in the movies.It was the best thing I had ever done for my Mom......pretty ironic,huh?

After being home for a week and a half xxxxx took off.All we knew was that he had taken one of the guns from the house(there weren't supposed to be any left there) and high tailed to Galveston where she received a call from him saying he was going to shoot himself.
Well,we called the Sherriff's dept. and they tracked the truck to a beachfront hotel where they burst in on him.xxxxx eneded up in John Sealy Psych ward for a week and incredibly he was home again.
3 or 4 days later on the day after Mom's day he did it.............

Again it's been very difficult to write this,but cathartic also.

If I can help anyone that is dealing with anything like it don't hesitate to drop an email or respond in the thread.

Whew,I'm drained...gotta take a break.

Peace,
D

 

Strangelove,

Man, I'm so sorry for you. I know that had to be really hard to talk about, but I admire your courage for doing so.

One of my father's best friends has a son (he's 2 years older than me which makes him 36) that is bi-polar. It took him like 8 years to graduate college because every semester with 4 weeks left, he just would quit going to his classes and never take any finals. They tried all kinds of medications and finally got him the right ones to take (thus he was finally able to get his bachelor's).

He got married a couple of years ago and his wife was a very pretty, outgoing, intelligent girl. Well, I found out last weekend, through my wife (who used to teach with this guy's mom) that his wife is no longer living with him - they're separated. No word if they are going to get a divorce but it doesn't look good for him. My wife then told me that this guy's mom used to always bug her about going out with him which she, thankfully, never did. It's really sad that people who have this condition have such a hard time in having long-term relationships.

 

Yea lately is bi-polar this and bi-polar that. Its either a trend or there are a lot of bi-polar ppl out there. I think I may have dated one of those before. She would be really sad and then really happy and then really angry. Didn't last very long. She got married recently.

A lot of people realize that she is hard to get along with because of her attitude and the way she argues when you dont see it her way. I can see how she could struggle in her relationships. Not sure if it is bipolar or not

 

Wow, that was exactly what I was just about to post about my college roommate's bipolar girlfriend. Attempted suicide, dropping out of school. Same exact thing. It's very sad, but you don't want to be strapped to that roller coaster, trust me.

 

DanzelKun, I happen to be a seasoned veteran in this department...

I dated my High School sweetheart for 5+ years. She was Bipolar, but I was always able to deal with it. Pretty much how you described losing patience and just not even wating to deal with it is normal. It took me awhile, but I finally got there. Unfortunately I was too much of a sissy to break it off and suffered through it for about another year before I finally ended it.

I missed the hell out of her, but stayed strong. We are actually decent friends now, but it took us a bit to get there.

I was actually relieved and felt like a weight had been lifted off of my back. However, this is where you need to be careful. When I was ready to move onto my next relationship, I jumped into it too fast and before I realized what I had done, I had gotten with another girl who had a much more severe case of Bipolar disorder. Only this one got violent when she got angry.

You have to live and learn, right?

I think the fact that I had been with the first one for so many years and always feeling like I had to work so hard to tend to her needs, I jumped into the next relationship so easily because I had forgotten what it felt like to have someone work towards your feelings as well. Just be careful...

There are alot more Bipolar women out there than you think. I didnt date for about a year after the violent one. In turn I finally found a girl I have been with for a year and have never had a fight with. I think it may be the first girl I have ever dated that doesnt have an emotional disorder...

Another good thing is that being with a Bipolar girl for a long-term relationship will teach you to practice your patience more so than before.

So, my advice to you, brother? Stay strong, and move forward, not back.

Good Luck.

 

StrangeLove...I admire you for being able to open up like that. You seem like a strong person and Im very sorry you had to deal with something like that. I can only imagine the horror...

 

as about 20 people here have stated. they have dated someone with this.

well i have to.

all i have to say is its hard. i think if the person is honestly trying to help themselves and you really care enough about the person to help them and help each other deal with it to make the relationship work then go for it.

but my life was living hell for that year and half. so yeah..............

 

My Mom is bi-polar. As long as she is on her meds, then she is perfectly fine. If not, then she suffers these crazy extremes which cause her blood pressure to skyrocket (per the high extremes). She almost died a few times from these situations...until the doctor got her meds balanced correctly.

I tend to think that if the bi-polar person is on the proper meds and takes them consistently...then bi-polar is definitely manageable. If they don't or abuse the situation (by mixing meds with alcohol or drugs), then their symptoms come out.

I guess once you develop it, however, you are never quite the same person again...even with meds. My Mom seems fine and I would never know she was bi-polar now but, before, she suffered the extremes and it was obvious. If someone continues to exhibit outward symptoms of bi-polar disorder after they have been treated, then they may not have found their ideal meds' combination.

 

I had a friend who has Bipolar disorder. Most of the time he was like a teddy bear -- extremely cheerful, big-hearted, very kind, very generous and full of love. But whenever he had one of his episodes, dear Lord ... there were times when I sincerely feared he was going to kill himself. He would just go out of control and launch into manic rage/depression.

He seems to have gotten better since. He met this girl, and I don't know how she managed to cope in that relationship, but they got married about 2 years ago and till today they have a happy marriage. I believe their faith in God has a lot to do with that, but I also really, really admire her for being able to make that marriage work.

As far as your situation is concerned though ... dude, if you can't handle it now, you're not going to be able to handle it in marriage. You'd have to be stupid to know what's coming and still get yourself yoked into it (well, frankly, lots of people do that under the chemically imbalanced infatuated state called "being in love" and end up divorced anyway, so this isn't exactly a huge statement). You made the right decision, now be a man, deal with your emotions and move forward with your life.