So, very few people at work know that I’ve been seeing one of my coworkers. We’re in a meeting today, and the guy next to her that she’s known for years makes a sexual innuendo. She raises her eyebrows and he does the same, so it’s clear that it was given and received as such. He doesn’t know she’s with me, so he has no reason to refrain, and of course, I have no idea if that would even matter to him. For all I know, this is some kind of ongoing component in their relationship. Needless to say, I certainly didn’t appreciate hearing it, but I’m not sure how bothered I should be by it. It could just be harmless joking. And she wasn’t the one that made the innuendo. I’m guessing she didn’t place any significance on it. Should she have made it clear to him that it wasn’t appreciated? Should I even mention it bothered me a little? I don’t want to come off as insecure or jealous. I know that if the two of them want to be together, than they will. Relationships end all the time. How would yall feel?
I'd say harmless. Ignore it and stick to important stuff. It would be weird for her to be chilly to the dude's lame joke if she doesn't want to embarrass him. Just my take, if you two insist on being on the down low.
i've never heard her joke back in front of me since we've been seeing each other. and this was the first time i've heard him make a sexual innuendo towards her. but i'm rarely around the two of them together. other than the fact that we're together now, i don't think it would be out of character for her to, given her sense of humor and she's not prudish.
Then she probably just doesn't respond anymore, because you're there. harmless. leave it alone, and don't let it bother you.
I think this all turns on this: how subtle was the innuendo? A Shakespearian "country matters?" A ribald "That's what she said?" A subtle groping of a phrase? What?
they both raised their hands to speak at the same time. she said "he beat me by the length of a finger," to allow him to speak first. and he said "i'll give you a finger's length." at which point she looked at him and raised her eyebrows and he did the same and smiled.
Whose idea was it to keep the relationship quiet? Mutual? Would one or both of you face sanction if it was publicly revealed? I wouldn't mention it, or be bothered by it. Odds are their flirtation existed before your relationship; since your relationship is kept quiet, the guy has no means of knowing what is out of bounds. How else should one pass the day at work if not through thinly veiled flirtations? Actual work?
she's an employee and i'm a contractor and there is a policy that employees aren't to have relationships with contractors. also, her manager is a vendictive b***h and would use any means to write her up, or have her dismissed. so, it's mutual, but my last day is tomorrow, so there will be no need to keep it quiet going forward.
On one hand I'd say if you have to worry about it then you need to not worry about it. On the other hand... the finger's length comment is particularly odd.
i didn't bring it up tonight, and she's going to be out of town for more than a week. last thing i want to do is have her leave on a sour note. when she gets back, we'll be free to have our relationship out in the open. it'll be interesting to see if she continues to keep him in the dark. guess i'll find out the next happy hour we all attend. thanks for the input.
Your best bet would've been to stand up and say "that's what SHE said" and then make a bunch of weird faces.
Don't ever sh!+ where you eat. Plus, you are being insecure and jealous. I'll be waiting on your break-up thread.
Maybe he meant "i'll give you a finger's length", like I'll flip you off? I don't know, either way don't let it bother you if your relationship isn't to a point where it's 'official'. From the way you're getting jealous, maybe you should take it to the next level...sounds like you like her.
