No, no, no..... I feel for you, man! The way I suggested is hard, but correct. What you did today just prolonged everything, and doesn't allow her to figure out what she wants. As much as I hate to say it, that 2 1/2 hour convo y'all just had solved nothing. In a few months, you're going to regret not just simply breaking up with her. You'll learn in the next relationship. Either way, I've been where you are and it sucks. There's no easy solution, either. Time is the only thing that will make it better. Good luck, man.
It's all over but the screaming, Pun. Sorry about that, man, but I'm not sorry that you won't have to waste your time with some "we be clubbin'" waste of your affection any longer. Things would have been easier had **** worked out, but you've now crapped out and it's time to hit up a different table. Just remember that it's her problem. Time to get a woman that isn't into rubbing her ass on strangers' crotches every weekend on Richmond.
I agree that that was the wrong answer. A two week 'break' won't help anything. What will happen is one of two things: 1) She will party throughout the break, will sleep with someone else (through the influence of her friends), and will not want to get back together with you. 2) She has already slepts with someone else, and is lying to you to spare your feelings. The two week break is an excellent way for her to get away with it, do it some more, and then exit the relationship. Do you think that, after two weeks of partying, she's going to say to herself, "Wow! that was fun! I liked the partying and my friends and I all got laid (well), but I think I'm going to give that all up and go back to my steady relationship with Lil Pun" That ain't gonna happen (and especially won't happen after only two weeks). It's over. The core is gone. Dead. All that's left now is protocol. -- droxford
Lil Pun- Keep your head up, dude. The best thing you can do, and I recommend this above all else, is for you to go out and hook up with another girl. Preferably one with computer skillz.
Taking a break will only prolong the inevitable. Force her hand --tell her the break is off and the break up is on. If she wants to stay, she will come back. Otherwise she's gone and your on to bigger and better things. Either way, you get the peace of mind that this "break" will otherwise destroy. And by destroy I mean annihilate.
Guys, I appreciate the support but I am fine with the mutual decision we made. Maybe she comes back from the break and wants me still and maybe she doesn't, either scenraio will be fine with me because I am prepared for either. She was the one that did not want to break up and I told her I was prepared to do that so we can both get on with our lives but she was the one who said no that we needed a break and I am willing to try it, as said before if it doesn't work then I will be prepared for it then. I'm at peace with the decision and with whatever the end result will be.
Needs more RAM. In all seriousness, all the advice you got here was excellent...I hope things work out for you Pun, but it's good to prepare yourself for what is most likely. Question: ages. Is there a big difference? Is she much younger than you? I'm going through an issue right now (with an ex no less), so I may have to fire up one of these 'relationship' threads sometime soon...
Just curious... has anyone here taken one of these breaks and then the relationship got back on course and everything was smooth sailing? I've just never heard of a case like that. Smart move talking it out, yeah Fatty's right it was just delaying the inevitable, but at least you know you tried. Three years is worth trying and if the relationship goes to ****, there will be no second guessing yourself. You know you did all you could and it wasn't your fault. Next time you'll be smart and just stay single
She probably feels she's still young and has some mileage left in her. On the other hand, she's totally used to your company and you're a part of her now. Flipping a coin and calling black is more certain at this point. I hope she fully realizes how she treated you in this ordeal, so she can give you a mature decision on what she really wants and values. Best of luck, Lil Pun, though if she makes a favorable decision, there might be more expected from the both of you (more from her, at least).
Long Story Short Ya girl is beginning to back slide Where there is smoke. . their is fire I hate to say it but I'd bet BIG MONEY she cheating Rocket River
Look. You making it HER DECISION it is YOUR LIFE all this means is she will go HOing around for a few weeks. . while u sit at home missing her I've BEEN THERE . . DON'T DO IT Drop her like it is hot She wants her cake and eat it too She wants you and the life style Stop giving her the power to stay or go Rocket River
.. . of course my real advice is. . . break up with her. . but don't tell her Keep enjoying her. . ON YOUR TERMS until you find someone else cause. . if she leaves oh well . . if not . . you don't have to have a drought Rocket River
I thought we were taking a break??? My girl comes over tonight, orders pizza and hangs out and watches a movie. She then leaves to go see what her friend is doing then I leave too to go to some girls' house I know. She then shows back up at my house around 10:45 but I'm not there. She then calls me to tell me she stopped by then calls me again when she gets home to say goodnight and I love you and all that. What do you guys make of this?
I may not be the best source on this, but this one looks pretty obvious. She's trying to get things back to where they were before the "talk". She's trying to keep you around as a backup plan for when the whole partying with her friends thing comes to an end. What you need to do is take a stand. Don't call her...if she calls wanting to come over or whatever tell her you're busy. You need to stay away and make her realize what's going on. If you continue to see her and act like nothing is wrong, she's going to feel like she has control over you and nothing will change on her part.
Unfortunately, this is what it sounds like to me as well. I was with the most amazing girl for 3 years and never in my wildest dreams did I think she was even capable of cheating on me. So of course it turns out she hooked up with some ******* guy. This may not be applicable to you, but it's amazing how First Loves can be so incredibly great and suck so much dick at the same time.
Lil Pun: You're not recognizing the obvious. Break up with her. Be firm. Right now you are wrapped around her finger, and she knows this. I've been where you are right now. I wish I had me now at the time. TRUST what I am saying. It isn't easy. Hell, I know what you're going through. In your mind "but she isn't like that" ....."we have had a beautiful relationship"........."she'll figure this out"...... All bullplop. If you don't do what I'm telling you to do, you will kick yourself later for not doing it. Be a man. Take back what is yours. If she wants it back, let her earn it.
