OK, so let me see. Your family has some rifts in it. People aren't always friendly, and there have been fights. Some people like each other, and some don't. It appears that family is important to you, and your Aunt. You would like to have a good relationship with this cousin of yours to help bring your family closer. You both like and respect each other, but it appears that any effort you put into bringing this into a closer family relationship does not get reciprocated, either because she doesn't care, or notice. It may be that she feels cousins aren't that close for family. It may be that she is to comfortable around you as family, so she doesn't see that you are trying to have closer family ties. This situation is similar in my wife's family. They all live close togehter, and for the most part, even extended family has close relationships with each other. There have been rifts in the past and there are always disagreements, fights, and sometimes family members flat out don't like each other. It's OK, just because they are family doesn't mean they aren't jerks and you have to like them. It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself to bring your family ties closer together. If I were in your situation, I would not worry about it and let people with their rifts work things out on their own. It is not your job to single handedly bring the family back together by trying to befriend one cousing. That being said, it sounds like this person is close to you and important to you. If you hope to be close to this person, you should tell them how you feel and see what can be done about it. I know in my experiences, since I was an only child, I was closer to my cousins and best friends. It was almost "sibling replacement" in some cases. There are sometimes when that doesn't work, but I know in my case, I have great friendships and relationships with some of my friends and cousins and extended family that I wouldn't have had if I didn't try. I'm closer to some of my friends than they are to their siblings. If they were being jerks when I was trying to be friends, I'd tell them so (in nicer terms) and that would be the end to it. So to sum up: Don't worry about it...don't put pressure on yourself...just be yourself, and if they don't seem to care, talk about it with them. After that, just live your life and quit trying to make a friendship where there might not be one.
warning: thread derail dotel is a wanker. i was his biggest fan going into this season, now i have more than my share of doubts. back to topic: you care too much. who gives a crap, she's just your cousin. its not even like immediate siblings. i stopped talking( or making an effort) to talk to my relatives years ago. i really only make an effort with my siblings and parents.
I used to do a lot for my cousins too, and never recieved the same on the other end... But lately I realized, they are going to go start their own families and live their own lives, and I could now care less what hapens to them...
i bet its true that she doesnt really realize it or notices or even doesnt care. She is a cool person but i never seen her act like a jerk. i always acted like a gentlemen to her. When we go out to eat, always saying thank yous to the waiter, tell her to eat first, have some of my dish, stand up if she got of her chair. likely today i going to express my feelings to her and try to patch them up. if not then oh well things happen for a reason. i do want to be close to her b/c she doesnt even have anyone else except her friends and immediate family. i dont really trust cousins really. i only trust like 2/19 cousins (yes we have a lot of cousins). Last night, i was trying to express my feelings to her saying that i feel i wasnt appreciated. She said that "i went to ur graduation". I was trying to say other things while i was in hawaii but people interupt her. i was going to say things like "i called u on ur bday and likely i was the only one", "who checked on u like every 2 months", "who devoted time to do ur favors". at the end i want to make reassure that i care/love her and that i'll always be there not physically but u r one phone call away. Hopely my aunt talked to her last night b/c i told mostly everything i wanted to tell her. i just couldnt see breaking her heart and me breaking down while telling my feelings
well i gave a msg to her phone saying that i love/care about her and i'll do things for her b/c i wanted to. i dont a sour relationship and i just a wanted decent relationship. i just wanted to get to know u better as a person and hope we can build on it.
Just go pee in her shower and tell her from where you come from, (the mainland), this is how we treat guests from off the lower 48. That had absolutely nothing to do with anything.
Man all I gotta do is talk about my pissing habits and all of the sudden everybody likes me. What a great world.
You havent got some sort of sick sexual attraction to a cousin do you.... That could earn you a few extra points.
H-Town Info --- this is one of the weirdest threads i have ever read. sounds like you have TOO close of a relationship with this cousin -- or at least are wanting too close of a relationship. It's nice that you are wanting to be there for her and stuff -- but dammit - you are asking way too much. it really sounds like you are jelous of anybody else who spends time with her because it takes away from your time with her. honestly - be nice to her and stuff - but back off a bit.
I agree. It sounds like you've got some ulterior motive. If you truly loved your cousin you would be nice to her regardless of the way she treats you. You seem to be expecting to receive something back when giving. In my opinion, she hasn't promised you anything, and owes you nothing.
