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Really bizarre and expensive Mavericks merchandise

Discussion in 'NBA Dish' started by weslinder, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. weslinder

    weslinder Contributing Member

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    Got a couple of hundred grand running around that you just have to get rid of? Like the Mavs? You've got all kinds of choices: A date with Devin Harris or Jerry Stackhouse, a team of life-size bobbleheads, a chance to be Mark Cuban for a day, and other disgusting choices.

    http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcon...mavs/stories/111907dnspomavslede.1a805f2.html

    [​IMG]

    Dallas Mavericks catalog has a lot for the big shots

    Forget the Christmas catalog from Neiman Marcus.

    For Dallas Mavericks fans, the ultimate gift-giving book is the team's Above The Rim collection of unique and, for the most part, unaffordable-to-the-common-fan experiences and merchandise.

    You want a Ford Mustang emblazoned with the Mavericks logo on the hood and the sides? This book has it. It goes for $90,000 and is billed as the definitive American muscle car – which isn't misleading anymore because these Mavericks actually do have a little muscle, unlike so many of their predecessors.

    You want decadence? How about a three-night getaway with Devin Harris to the exclusive Ocean Club resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas? You will fly there on the Mavericks' team jet and have dinner, cocktails and golf with the point guard. The experience is tabbed at $300,000, but only one is available, so hurry.

    Those are just two of the many outrageous offerings in the slick catalog, which owner Mark Cuban says is the newest way for the ultimate Mavericks fans to show their pride.

    "It goes beyond the foam fingers, T-shirts, hats and face paint that we all love and touches the imagination of every fan, myself included," Cuban writes in the book. "Whether you've ever dreamed about becoming a Maverick, pictured yourself driving the ultimate Mavericks ride or wished that you could call the shots as owner for just one day, your ultimate Mavs fantasies can be fulfilled right here."

    For $20,000, the owner for a day will get a crash course in the organization's inner workings, have lunch with the team's executives, sit courtside, have access to the locker room and get interviewed on the television broadcast. There's also a post-game suite at the W Hotel thrown in.

    No mention of whether griping about the referees is a prerequisite for purchasing the package.

    You also could have been a player for a day, signing an official one-day contract. But that offer is off the table, having already been purchased for $20,000. And the not-so-poor guy doesn't even get paid.

    The Mavericks haven't forgotten the ladies, either. A spot on the dance team is available for $20,000. You get to train with them for two weeks, then perform on the court at a game. It's called "Dancer for a Night," which sounds more palatable than "Prancing Around in Very Little Clothing in front of 20,000 People for a Night."
    You want the ultimate 18 holes? You got it with a very nattily attired Jerry Stackhouse and you playing Dallas National Golf Club for the bargain price of $25,000. Trust us on this one: If Stack is in the group, the entertainment will be worth the cost.

    There are plenty of other goodies to buy, with the most disturbing being life-sized bobble-head dolls of Dirk Nowitzki, Harris and, perhaps, other Mavericks.

    Which brings up the question: What does one do with a life-sized bobble-head doll?

    Maybe they could be put outside the front door like some people put those big stone lions. The bobble guys could act as security guards, assuming they can play a little defense.
     
  2. R0ckets03

    R0ckets03 Contributing Member

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    I have $5. Where do I sign up for a class in flopping?

    Muck the Favs!
     
  3. Bookit

    Bookit Member

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    The Ginobili Institute has had positive reviews.
     
  4. ABtheTerrorist

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    I want to live in a country where when, not if, i physically hurt a Mavericks fan or a Maverick, then i will not only not be punished for it, but be rewarded and seen as a national hero.
     
  5. shipwreck

    shipwreck Member

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    I want to be owner for a day so I can move the Mavs to Seattle..
     
  6. finalsbound

    finalsbound Contributing Member

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    $20,000 to dance ONE time with the Mavs dancers?

    Are you KIDDING me?

    25K to play golf with Caveman Stackhouse?

    90K for a car that brings a whole new meaning to hideous?

    The saddest one has to be the guy who paid to sign a 10-day contract...it's like, dude. You signed a piece of paper. That's what you get for your 20,000.

    Unreal.

    **** the Mavs.
     
  7. kaleidosky

    kaleidosky Your Tweety Bird dance just cost us a run

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    man if i had the money, i'd pay 20k to sign a 1 day contract with the rockets.. i don't see why everyone's hating on them for this.
     
  8. JaWindex

    JaWindex Contributing Member

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    If I had that kind of money, I'd rather get nice season tickets.
     
  9. Apollo Creed

    Apollo Creed Contributing Member

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    Everything else sounds ridiculously stupid...but this kinda sounds cool.
     
  10. finalsbound

    finalsbound Contributing Member

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    WHY??
     
  11. Major

    Major Member

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    Are they mutually exclusive? :confused: Chances are if you have $20,000 to spend on this, you probably already have season tickets and probably tens of millions of dollars.
     
  12. Achilleus

    Achilleus Member

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    Who the **** wants that?
     
  13. finalsbound

    finalsbound Contributing Member

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    Hahah I missed that one! That is hilarious.
     
  14. kaleidosky

    kaleidosky Your Tweety Bird dance just cost us a run

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    player for a day.. to me that means hang with the team, practice with the team, go through the daily routine or whatever.

    If I had that much money to blow, I think it'd be pretty damn cool to be able to run through a scrimmage with TMac and Yao and the gang. Guard Stevie (and get abused).
     
  15. magnetik

    magnetik Contributing Member

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    I wonder if you can mix and match prizes.. like trading out Devin Harris for the Mavericks cheerleaders for the trip to the Bahamas. You know all the girls would go for it. that would probably make it worth it....
     
  16. Dave McNulla

    Dave McNulla Member

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    for $25k, how many times do you think you could say it's so easy that a cave man could do it every time stack hits a good shot before he leaves (or kicks somebody's ass)?
     
  17. smoothie

    smoothie Jabari Jungle

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    i bet i can guard rafer into missing a tear drop. :p
     
  18. weslinder

    weslinder Contributing Member

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    Someone with a thing for skinny, boyish-looking men.
     
  19. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

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    i'd have chucky type nightmares with that nowitzki bobble head or whatever it is.
     
  20. bejezuz

    bejezuz Contributing Member

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    If I was player for a day, I'd only do it on the condition that they cut Rafer for my roster spot. :D
     

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