So, they paid $60,000 for a private school and you wrote this: "You know I can accept how cheap they are well... just because I've gotten used to it"
Misunderstandings and it sounds like they don't want you to leave thats why they aren't giving you any funds. I think this happens to most teens. Parents have to mentally prepare themselves for situations when it comes to their children leaving them. As far as the car, stop whining. Everyone in my family got a car except me and I'm the one working going to school and have my own place. 7 kids I'm number 4. Everyone above me got a car or 2 and I got skipped over, and when I finally got one I immediately had to give it away because my moms truck broke down. But my mom is always there when I need the lady. Even though I was upset about it, it's family over money and when you start making your own this little fight won't mean anything. Now should should be upset that she is trying to cheating you, and being that she used her credit card she knows using it adds interest. She knew better. Meditate and pray about it. Keep records. It will all work out.
I'll bet your parents are always arguing with each other about the couple of bucks they could have spent for condoms 17 years ago, but maybe your mother was too cheap and said, "you should just pull out".... Well, I'm glad you are alive and tormenting them everyday for their frugality. Props to you..
Sounds like your mom is hiding something from your dad, and she didn't tell him you paid the $1300...or they are freaking out about your escalating expenses. I had a massive argument with my dad over college and broken promises, we didn't talk for over 2 years......I got a job as a bartender, cut down on hours taken each semester and finished on my own with the help of some student loans. My dad eventually apologized, it is all part of growing up, for kids...AND parents. DD
Typical Chinese folks. They care more about their "face (respect)" around others than they do about their own kids. This is one of the primary reasons I dislike a lot of asians from asia.
If you were as rational and logical explaining things to your parent as you did here at ClutchFans you and your parent's relationship would have been much better that it is. Be calm, throwing glasswares to the ground would not help solve any problems but make things worse.
the dude's from australia... all asians are from asia homie.. only asian-americans were born in the US of 'I score in the 91st minute of the elimination game to get to the round of 16 in the world cup' A!!!
and I thought what I was going through was rough... I will say you sound like you're not a spoiled brat and that you really do want to do the right thing...just make sure everyone is ok on what is owed and don't ask for anything ever again...it sucks how it all played out, but just chalk it up to growing up (albeit in a bad way)... I grew up with the idea my parents had saved all this money going to college as that's how it was portrayed on tv, etc...well, when I went for my first college visit, i remember my dad saying, "I don't know how you're going to pay for this"...that was my first reality of the situation...you see both of my parents didn't go to college, we weren't rich by any means, but not dirt poor... Ended up going to a couple of Jr. colleges and got my associates degree...I paid with cash from working and some student loans...then went to UofH and got more loans...they helped out with books on occassion and I lived at home for a while, but tuition was my responsibility... I remember my first bonus check while working a real job...I paid off my sutdent loans and haven't looked back...now that I have kids, I will definitely help, but they have to work and pay some as well...Once you pay for things yourself, you truly have a vested interest...good luck mate...
There has got to be another side to this story. I've experienced 2-17 year olds so far.......I have some experience. I hope after everything has calmed down you can all sit and talk about this. There is always a solution. But during the heat of the moment and no one backs away nothing makes sense. This could be an experience for you and also a learning lesson for both. Good luck to you and your family. $1300 aint **** in an adult world. Family is priceless.
To clarify I am an Australian born Chinese. I'm a first generation while my parents are both Chinese. An update of the situation: Dad told Mum that I did pay the money. Dad gives me a lecture about throwing temper tantrums and breaking stuff and says Mum's coming down to apologise. (As you can tell my Dad is the rational thinker in the family. My Mum and I have alot of pride and emotion when it comes to what we say and do) Mum comes downstairs and starts shouting at me for breaking glassware and says because of my anger issues/attitude problem, any women I meet in the future will suffer. At this point, I've given up and I just sit there this time and just soak it up. Dad's keeping this family together. Really glad he's around or I would have fallen apart.
You do realize that kids don't typically ask their parents if they can go to the $60,000 private school, right? You realize that the parents themselves make that choice, right? Holding the kid responsible for it is absolutely ridiculous.
I actually disagree with the big picture sentiment here. Granted, I don't have teenage children and just have an infant...but, the tone of his post wasn't arrogant. Moreover, while it is a great, useful and necessary lesson to learn that good things come through hard work, and earning your way to what you want, as a parent, I certainly certainly hope to be able to help my children out financially as much as possible and won't find it offensive or rude or a sign of bad upbringing if my children come to expect this out of me....ASSUMING they've got the first part down, too - that you have to work hard in life. My parents helped me out financially a great deal throughout college, but I worked hard the whole way, got a great great degree, a solid, high paying job and was completely on my own the day college ended. I both understood hard work and was what I guess you'd call "priveleged". Fine, worked out great for us. Certainly, it's hard to fathom, if the side of the story told is factual, that the son in this case should be expected to keep a receipt of the transaction, or be "beaten up" or just generally be treated as he has. Maybe his story isn't 100% truthful...but that's a different argument.
Awesome in the sense that I can relate dealing with first generation parents. They lived in a different time man. Probably starved at some points growing up or wore good clothes only on special occasions...or witnessed others going through that. They would consider us "lucky" for having luxuries they didn't have. I can't say that they will change or have a different POV when you grow up and do your thing, but they are family. Thinking about cutting them off seems like the sane thing to do, but you could easily laugh this off thirty years from now as you could to hang onto it. Move out, make it on your own, and you'll witness the punchline when they offer you money that you don't need anymore.
I would imagine it's not about the money, but the principle of the fact that his parents (of all people) want to cheat him.
All right. You were wrong to throw a tantrum and start breaking things. That was just stupid and displayed a lack of maturity on your part. I assume you realize this, though, so all you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned and try your best to grow from this experience. I won't pretend to understand the inner-workings of an Asian family, but I've seen it in action. All the Vietnamese people I knew growing up in Houston were pretty normal folks: normal, smart kids with a strong family allegiance, parents who pushed them hard but were hardly unreasonable. Then I went to nursing school with a lot of American-half-Koreans....dads were of varying Euro/African/Whatever-American ancestry while the moms were all straight from Korea, and I'll be damned if the majority of those mothers weren't certifiable....they were downright hateful at times to their kids, even. A lot of it felt like it was because their kids grew up American and not Korean. I'd expect some difficulties with something like that, but the rate at which they took it out on their daughters was frightening while it seemed the sons could do no wrong. Interesting to hear this from your perspective as a son. To be clear, did your mom attack you BEFORE or AFTER you started breaking things? If it was after, then this allows for the possibility that you frightened her into an action. I read your post as though you started breaking things AFTER she attacked you. This would be a negative, but still understandable, response from you: mom starts hitting you, you don't want to hit her, so you go after inanimate objects. Has anything like this happened before? If so, you're certainly looking at a repetitive pattern of negative family behavior, and you need to figure out how you can best deal with it. Whichever way it happened, I think you need to start taking steps to get on your own. Your mom might hold this over your head, but there's no point in exacerbating the situation. So, learn from this as best as you can. Apologize for your part (the tantrum and breaking things), own it and admit you were wrong (to the negative behavior), and mature from it (by realizing the lengths to which your own anger can get the best of you). Then....move on and do your thing. If she holds it over you still, then it's her issue. The only things you can manage and be responsible for are your own responses, reactions, and emotions. And that's it. Hope this was helpful. Best of luck to you.
not to make fun.. but seriously.. this sounds ALOT LIKE HARRY POTTER... are you living under the cupboard?
