Just had a huge argument with my parents about my future and of course, money. Just a brief background about me: I'm in my first year of University, I'm 17, from Australia and I have a part time job for money on the side with friends. I'm also an only child. Firstly, in Australia the parents don't save a huge amount of money like American parents for college fees. There is a government assisted option called HECS-Help Loan where tuition fees are assisted by the Commenwealth. They deduct money from your salary in accordance to your tuition fees from the course. I am doing fairly well in University, maintaining around a 5.5-6.0 GPA. At the end of this year, I plan to transfer to a big name Australian/American University so it would only be normal that I tell my parents about what I plan to do in the future (My dream is to work in the Marketing Division for NBA China). Ok so this is the part where I get angry. The first thing they tell me after I tell them about my dreams is 'Son, do not expect any financial assistance from us. You are old enough to support yourself. I know you only told us this because you expect money from us. You're nearly 18 so you aren't going to rely on us forever. You have to learn.' At this point I'm disappointed, not angry at what they've told me. (Both my parents work full time and we live a comfortable life with money to spare.) I tell them fine, can I at least borrow money and I'll pay you back as soon as possible. As I'm 17, I don't earn the minimum adult wage and I'm on youth pay. They tell me no. My cousin recently came to Australia to start his postgraduate degree and they gladly offered him assistance, yet they won't offer their own son some financial assistance? It's not like I need the money for alcohol or drugs. This is a contribution towards my future. - This is how I am looking at it. Then my Mum looks at me behind my laptop and says, 'Look at you on that laptop you didn't even pay for that and yet you feel it is your right to use it.' I've had this laptop for about 4 months now, and saved three months to buy it. When I went to buy the laptop my Mum came with me and said she will use the credit card to buy it as she would like credit points. I said fine I will give you the $1300 first. She accepts it without a word and so I get my new laptop. Now, she is saying that the laptop had two years interest free, and I should hurry to give her the $1300 or else she will take 50% of my pay. If I do not give her 50% of my part time wage, she will kick me out of the house. At this point now I am fuming. I tell her I only have 800 dollars in the bank. If I didn't give you the 1300 I would have a lot more. She screams at me and calls me a lieing rat and starts throwing objects at me, pulling my hair and scratching my neck (currently bleeding). Then she starts crying and acts like the victim. Of course now we're in a shouting war, and I just throw everything at the ground including glassware onto tiles. I am ADAMANT that I have paid for the laptop and have been cheated out of 1300 by my parents. They will probably kick me out in a few days and I will probably be better off because of it. It's just unbelievable how generous and nice my parents are to my friends/relatives children and so cheap and selfish towards their own son, even going as far to steal his money. I bet they used the money to pay for the mortgage and are just cheating me out. /End Rant
Woah. This last paragraph is pretty screwed up. Sorry man, you shouldn't have to deal with that. No kid should. Sounds like you'll have to deal with it. Make it happen, you'll be proud of yourself later. I speak from experience- I've been on my own since I was still in High School, barely 17. If you want to twist the knife, just make sure your parents know that there's a nice, roach-infested old-folks home waiting for them in 30-40 years.
Damn. Move out. Cut off contact. Let them find out the hard way that you're not a child anymore and are accordingly capable of recognizing and avoiding jerks. Sorry though...it sucks balls.
prematurely sent...i dont know what to say. Sounds like you're in a bad situation. Maybe there is something else going on between your parents that you don't know about.
I want to cut it off really but they know I have no option but to stay so they hold so much power over me. My job isn't enough to pay for all living expenses and all my relatives live in China. I am stuck where I am and feel there's no way out of this.
Weird story, bro. But seriously, I don't think the college $$ is that big a deal. Ideally, parents should save up and pay for their kids college education so that the kid isn't in debt for the rest of his life with school loans. But I understand that's not how everyone approaches it. But the part about the laptop....WTF?? What kind of parent rips off their own kid like that? It's almost too bizarre to believe. I think your mum needs a full psychiatric assessment. You need to get out of there ASAP. Something weird going on there...
The worst thing about all of this is the people I am supposed to trust most are pulling a fast one on me. If I can't trust them I won't be able to trust anyone. I think this will force me into loans.
Absolutely true....sucks that you can't trust your parents. Please take a lesson from this and make sure you don't do your kids the same way.
Your mom may need some psychological help. Serious statement. Hopefully you are able to pull through and get done with college.
Naw, I wouldn't make a leap like that. You shouldn't base your view of the world on the fact that your mother is....well, with all due respect.....crazy.
Could the economy be getting them down? Maybe they aren't as comfortable as you think they are. Maybe they actually need money. However, they gave some to your cousin, so perhaps not, too. Even so, that wouldn't excuse the behavior (and subsequent attempt at thievery) from your mom. How parents can act like this is beyond me. You could try logic and proof. Online banking should be able to prove that you gave her $1300, right? Was it in a check? It should have been reduced from your checking account then. Surely there is some sort of traceability here.
There's nothing stopping you from working full time for the next 2-3 years then have the money to put yourself through uni.
