Steven Wright Other gems All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. OK, so what's the speed of dark? How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I can't say this one isn't too difficult either considering the devil doesn't choose who goes to eternal hell. But I do get your point
Oh, did they figure out it wasn't the Devil.... Cool, cause I was kinda worried. Who is it then by the way?... You got a link? Thanks for the Wright jokes Mulder. The speed of dark is definitely going to be inserted into my plagerized pick up lines.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Here's one I'm sure that a scientist can answer but I'm not one. I heard a comidean ask this. Why when on an airplane, if it is going 300 to 400 miles an hour, why wouldn't I be completely smashed if I jump up right in front of the rear restroom door. What force is keeping me moving with the plane??
i dunno. you're moving 300 to 400 mph along with the plane that's why. wasn't that inertia or something? sorry... i forgot.
