http://www.radaronline.com/from-the-magazine/2007/08/100_reasons_youre_single_4.php Why are you still single? Possibly because you... 1. Call Grey's Anatomy simply "Grey's" 2. Have entertained the notion that "the Axe Effect" is real 3. Own tie-dyed gym clothes 4. Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles 5. Are only gay when you're drunk 6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks 7. Wink in a rakish manner each time you tell a joke 8. Have a ferret on your shoulder 9. Call sex "the squishy squish" 10. Are Courtney Love 11. Hug amusement park mascots 12. Address acquaintances as "guy" 13. Use emoticons in handwritten letters 14. Own a "It's Not Going to Suck Itself" T-shirt 15. Initiate line dances 16. Have only one pickup line: "Why the long face?" 17. Posed shirtless for your MySpace page 18. Can't stop missing Anna Nicole 19. Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers 20. Call your therapist from work on speakerphone 21. Won't travel anywhere out of "blading distance" 22. Sleep on WWF sheets 23. Begin stories with, "I'm not a stalker, but ..." 24. Snack on Bac-Os 25. Know someone who knows someone who knows the Geico caveman 26. Flash devil horns in wedding photos 27. Eat with one arm guarding your plate 28. Refer to your PDA as a "Crackberry" 29. Have a dartboard in your kitchen 30. Own a calendar featuring babies dressed as cowboys 31. Call October "Rocktober" 32. Keep a dream journal 33. Own slot-machine gloves 34. Are the president of a fan club 35. Weave and distribute friendship bracelets 36. Have a "lucky" garter hanging from your rearview mirror 37. Prefer the "fist bump" when meeting strangers and always insist they "lock it in" 38. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex 39. Take off work each year to celebrate Cinco de Mayo; are Irish 40. Have a disturbingly high thetan count 41. Display your framed degree from bartending school 42. Have been edited out of several Girls Gone Wild videos 43. Converse with angels 44. Refer to Target as "Tar-Jay" 45. Have ever said: "That's sooo Sagittarius" 46. Feel most comfortable in Tevas and jorts 47. Have a five o'clock shadow, on your ass 48. Wear a "No Spin Zone" windbreaker 49. Cry when you listen to Belle and Sebastian, then, still tearful, blog about it 50. Use an electronic device to smoke pot 51. Call underwear "panties" 52. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed 53. Live by two sartorial rules: pleated, stonewashed 54. Display samurai swords in your office 55. Think the energy crisis can be solved with crystals 56. Have ever dressed up as a penis or tampon for Halloween 57. Own a 60-inch flat-screen plasma television but sleep on a broken futon 58. Have taken more than one cell phone picture of your genitals 59. Close all correspondence with "Prayerfully Yours" 60. Consider Maroon 5 sort of "your group" 61. TiVo'd the entire run of Criss Angel Mindfreak 62. Use the word "scrumptious" 63. Have a Tasmanian Devil "tramp stamp" 64. List "Dungeon Master" on your business card 65. Carry an All Things Considered tote bag 66. Wouldn't be the person you are today without Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie 67. Subscribe to any massive multiplayer online gaming experience 68. Take advantage of the eight-at-a-time Netflix option 69. Have a rhyming nickname 70. Sold your forehead to goldenpalace.com 71. Have a "LaRouche '08" bumper sticker 72. Have taken a course on improving your oral sex technique 73. Will do anything for "****s and giggles" 74. Collect throwing stars 75. Have a bedside stack of Sudoku books 76. Can only make love to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones 77. Are infamous among your coworkers for your dead-on Baba Booey impression 78. Own all 24 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music! 79. Are O.J. Simpson 80. Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros 81. Refuse to drink any beer that hasn't been "beechwood aged" 82. Have cellulite on your face 83. Refer to yourself as a "vagitarian" 84. Have a Web shrine devoted to a long- deceased pet 85. Consider riddles a great way to break the ice 86. Purchase meals solely for their tie-in products 87. Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates 88. Are known among your girlfriends as "Heavy Flow" 89. Feel you've found the deeper meaning behind Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" 90. Own all the Matrix novelizations 91. Raise iguanas 92. Posted your profile on Sean Hannity's "Hannidate"; are black 93. Have a "Peeing Calvin" decal on your hatchback 94. Work at Radar 95. Are learning to play the bagpipes 96. Don't like Insane Clown Posse's music per se, but think their philosophy is sound 97. Phone in long-distance radio dedications 98. Posted a Craigslist "Missed Connections" ad to find the kid who groped you on the subway 99. Believe the mouth is self-cleaning 100. Have had something on your face since the late '90s
Anybody that does anything remotely close to this inside of Starbucks is a tool and I loath them with every fiber of my body. If you... Read check email study alone Or anything like that inside of Starbucks merely for the sake of being seen or looking cool you are an ass. I can never go into a Starbucks because of all the soulless tools trying to make an appearance to no one. Dressed in your emo, casual, business, or whatever clothes you think will portray your personality for those 20min you are inside of Starbucks. Last time I was in a Starbucks I asked for a large vanilla latte. The clerks responds with some, "vente, grande, yada yada" bull$#t. I say woman get me the damn large. I said large. You know what I mean. ITS LARGE. GIVE ME THE GOD #$#M LARGE.
If I met a woman that spent time with a dream journal rather than killing her mindless soul with myspace, gossip, mtv, and shopping I would brush my teeth everyday and lick her puss. I would be so happy.
"12. Address acquaintances as "guy" I never got why people do that, some idiot did new person did that to me for a week at my old work till I finally told him to go f*ck himself and say my name next time he wants an answer
ROTFLMAO.....................................................................................................................................................................................we have whole thread dedicated to HSM
104. marriage means you can't have sex with other women. 105. marriage means you can't have sex with other women. 106. marriage means you can't have sex with other women. 107. marriage means steady job, babies, house payments, car payments, compromise, shared decision making, no late nights, jealousy, nagging, not enough private space, not enough freedom, ups and downs and ups and downs and dealing with another person's ups and downs and ups and downs, no drunk and sloppy playing of Rush songs on your bass while doing rock star poses and wearing nothing but a sock at 3AM on a Monday morning. 108. you like being single. 109. you can't find someone who will wear the gimp mask and call you LL COOL T while stuffing a crumpled up Filet O' Fish wrapper in your rectum.
