Sorry, no link. I live in Austin, and saw this article in a local paper. I had to retype it, I hope there are not too many typos. It was very different than I expected, but he did give props to ClutchFans.net. DISCUSSION WITH SOON TO BE ROCKET SHANE BATTIER Q: You were a fan favorite in Memphis, do you expect that to be the same in Houston? A: Absolutely! I have a reputation for doing whatever it takes. The Rockets are known for great fans, and I will do whatever it takes to win then over. Q: The initial fan reaction to the trade ranged from absolute shock to utter disgust. How do you expect to overcome that? A: In the end, winning solves all problems. But until that happens I have already begun doing homework to find out what the fans want of me. Q: Homework? What kind of homework are you talking about? A: I have spoken to Les and Jeff and I am confident that I can deliver what they want. Also I went to what I was told was the most complete Rockets fan site, Clutchfans.net. What I discovered was that even though they were expecting a young athletic player out of the draft, the fans are happy to have me on the team, but they are clearly disappointed that I am not Gay, so I plan to become a homosexual. As I said, I’ll do whatever it takes. If they are disappointed that I am not Gay, I will become Gay. I am not sure how that will help my game; maybe it has something to do with the wrist. Q: With that type of ‘can-do’ attitude, I can see why you were so popular in Memphis. Do you have any experience? A: Not directly, but I am a quick learner. I have to give props to Duke University, a quality education always shows. They didn’t offer any classes on being Gay, but I did spend a year with Christian Laetner as my roommate, so I have some background. Q: What does your wife think of this? A: A few years ago when there were rumors that I might be going to Utah, so we had to discuss an alternative lifestyle then. She is my rock and has always supported my work. To my surprise she said if necessary, she would go Gay too. Turns out she has a secret thing for Doug Christie’s wife. When I am ‘out with the boys’ she would like to ‘do’ her. I told her that a couple of years ago in the playoffs I had whipped Doug’s ass, and don’t see why she wouldn’t enjoy doing the same. Q: Welcome to Houston. A: Thanks. We already have found a house in Montrose.
Errr, when I said local paper, i meant like those student run ones, or those really messed up ones around Austin. Nothing with substance.
This is the best reason of all that we didn't draft Gay. We would have to hear the lame jokes for years. It's worth it to me.
LOL, I don't know what was funnier. The original post or the people making comments like "this can't be real." No crap guys, it's a joke.
Assign a different roommate to Battier might make it sound more real. Laettner is like 10 years older than Battier. They didn't play for Duke at the same time. Nice try though.
