So I went to dinner at Fogo de Chao last night and probably ate like 5 pounds of meat with no fiber. Come noon today I had to go pretty bad and I knew it was going to be quite the deuce. I have tried to avoid dropping deuces at home since my deuces are quite large and usually have difficulty flushing and end up clogging the toilet. Seriously I'm talking the huge Randy Marsh size deuces..I need those high power BAVRROOSSSHHHH type flushes they have at work. In addition scyang on this message board has convinced me it's so much more satisfying to take a crap on company time at work and get paid for it than doing it on your own time at home. Anyways on to my problem. I was on my way to take a crap at work today and I see three guys (hispanic?) go in the upstairs restroom so I decided to take the elevator and use the first floor restroom. So I am prepared to drop quite the heavy and dense deuce and I knew it would cause quite the splash.. I find it disgusting when nasty public restroom toilet water with other peoples waste and piss particles floating in the bowl splash back and get all over your ass, balls, legs and thighs.. This happened today despite my measures to prevent it... I figured I would seek the wisdom of clutchfans for any new tips and strategies that I'm not currently using.. Here are some strategies that I employ... Soft Landing Method - Drop some toilet paper in first so it softens the entry of your deuce upon entry. Sanitary Toilet seats also work very well for this method (unfortunately this method didn't work today since I took quite the piss before hand and buried the toilet paper) Active Soft Landing - Variation of the above strategy.. drop toilet paper behind you as you are taking a crap (I sometimes do this and it works but I got lazy today and had to pay the consequences) Drain First Method - To enhance the above strategies.. take a piss in the urinal first to prevent sinking the toilet paper when its time to drop that deuce Slow & Steady Method - squeeze very slowly and if your deuce is long enough it will have a soft entry into the bowl (doesn't a work for those short hard rock type deuces) Jumping Method - Jump off the toilet seat right before your deuce hits the water to dry and avoid the splash (if your timing isnt correct this will backfire often causing a larger splash) Is it just me or do others on clutchfans have this problem also? Please share your wisdom.
oopps meant to put this in hangout well debate away.. or can a mod help me move it? or just delete away )
If you put toilet paper in the toilet water BEFORE you poop. You get no spashback (it didnt work today because you didnt deploy enough paper beforehand)
Splashback definitely sucks. For those with extra long penis like me, dipping the tip in the water is very unpleasant. Getting splashback on my penis while its already in the water is the dirtiest feeling ever. Feels bad man.
Flush toilet right before it drops. Tank will be empty for a few seconds. Of course you might have to do this multiple times.
The jump method works for me. I don't actually jump however I lift myself a few inches off the seat. Not 100% but it works pretty well.
It happens .. Depends on how strong the toilet flush is. Best to try your lift your ass method for courteous flushes also
OP, if you can bend over far enough, you can prevent splash with your face. Try that and report back to us!
