[January 2, 2012. For immediate release] Responding to speculations in the press about player personnel moves, the Houston Rockets of the National Basketball Association today announced that they were close to acquiring one of the NBA’s elite players. Club owner Les Alexander said in a statement: “Having a superstar on the team is a prerequisite for winning in this league, and has always been the goal for this organization.” “Point guard is one of the most important positions in basketball, as seen by the fact that the reigning MVP, the NBA’s top overall pick in the 2011 draft, and the most sought after target in the offseason were all point guards. Given that, I instructed our GM [Daryl Morey] to acquire one of the league’s best point guards,” continued Alexander “Running the team and setting teammates is what distinguishes the best point guards in this league so naturally I instructed Mr. Morey to acquire the NBA’s leader in assists per game. We also would like the player to be the best rebounder at the point guard position, given that rebounding is one of the areas that we need to improve upon. In addition, with coach McHale emphasis on defense, we would prefer the player to be among top three in the league in steals per game and to be capable of spectacular defensive stops and blocks, “ Mr. Alexander said [Daryl] Morey was not available for comment, however, sources close to the team indicate that they are very close in getting a player that matches Mr. Alexander’s demands. It is not clear at this point how the Rockets would be able to obtain such high profile player, or who that player may be. When reached for comment, head-coach Kevin McHale only said, “sometimes the things you look for are right in front of your nose”, before walking away. While it is not clear what McHale meant with his cryptic words, NBA commentators widely speculate that the coach was referring to [NBA megastar] Ishmail Smith, who was on the Rockets roster last season, but had to be given-up in the blockbuster trade for Hasheem Thabeet. However, ESPN.com’s Ric Bucher reported that the Golden State Warriors, where Ish Smith currently plays, are not likely to trade their star guard to Houston. “My sources tell me the Warriors front office has listened to the Rockets’ offer, but would rather trade Ish straight-up for [Orlando Magic’s disgruntled center Dwight] Howard. An additional impediment to the Rockets having one of the league’s best point guards is perceived opposition from the league’s front office. An NBA official said in a statement that, “We fully support the Rockets organization in their efforts to obtain one of the league’s top players. However, since New Orleans is only a seven-hour drive from Houston, we would be concerned if a star player were to play in such close proximity to the Hornets’ market.” “ If the league were to, say, “re-direct” such player from the Rockets towards New Orleans, we would only do it for the best interest of the Hornets, that’s all.” , the official continued before finishing his statement with the obligatory “Praise and glory be upon our leader Stern and his prophet Stu”, as recently introduced NBA protocol requires him.
I saw that Moestavern19 had said he would retire after achieving Hakeem status..but I thought he was kidding. He's really gone?!
Well done you effin' kangaroo! this thread is not funny, not clever, obviously fake from the get-go and you misspelled Ishmael Smith's name!
I guess I'm not sure anymore. If the rockets can get an all star guard I'm for it. Kyle Lowry is kind of overrated now that i think about it. You think we can bring back SF3? There's an all star guard if you ask me.