Give her the benefit of the doubt, after all you said you've been with her through thick and thin so this seems pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. I think giving in to the kid coming to the wedding is the lesser f the two evils. Then again, you paid for it so do what you want.
Gotta disagree, bro. This is YOUR wedding. Any money contributed to the event should come with no strings attached. However, I think the point is moot, because Eddie is saying that his fiancé's parents are contributing. Personally, I don't do well with ultimatums. When it comes to family, the #1 way to get me to NOT do something is to give me an ultimatum. I just think it's an act of almost unparalleled selfishness. If she was really putting your feelings first, she would go along with your decision. My opinion: call her bluff. Tell her it's your wedding, and if she chooses to miss it, that speaks volumes about her level of respect for you. Oh, and congrats on the nuptials!
Pretty much everone on here made great points on the issue, so there's not much left to say.. But yeah man just remember its YOUR wedding day, not your moms or the 6 year olds. In the future when you look back at your wedding album and remember the memories, you don't wanna remember the bad things (although they do happen). So with that said, just make the best out of it. Continue to talk it out with your fiance and ultimately I think you'll make the right decision. And in whatever decision you make, dont feel guilty! Once again its YOUR wedding. Oh and congrats!!
hhhmmmm . . .Family is Family. What I kind of gotten from this is . . you don't have much a relationship with the Step Sister and definately none with the step-neice and really not interested in having one. [you made exceptions for nephews but not for the neice. . . you have already choose one set over the other. . . so no big whoop] so. This is all about you and your mom. The question is: How close are your mom and step sister? A mother wants all her 'babies' together to celebrate this event. It is understandable. But . . .you need to be happy. I say rule one . . . Do what is best for you! Rocket River
if you care about keeping your relationship with your mom as healthy as possible, then it's not about who's in the right.. it's about the best/easiest/most peaceful/lowest cost solution that will most easily lead to a resolved issue/less heartache/a good relationship. So you need to decide...do you care more about winning the argument about who's right and who's wrong, or can (will) you let that go in the name of you and your fiance's longterm relationship with your mom? That's how I see it. And as others have said, it's hard to say definitively without all the dynamics involved
Yeah man, I definitely would not put you in the wrong but I probably would end up inviting the step-niece anyways. Honestly, from what it sounds like, it just isn't worth it to have to try to fight your mom over it. For what it's worth, sounds like this is more of the proverbial straw breaking your back in what you have had to deal with in your mom practically your whole life. Instead of looking at it in the perspective that she's going too far (which she did, by the way), I would say that this is probably one of the last times you have to deal with something like this and it will be long forgotten once you have started your own life and moved on. So enjoy your wedding, invite the kid, and call it a day. Congrats man.
Hey man its just a kid, but your mom is always gonna be your mom...just let the kid come, frankly you will regret not having your mother there if God forbid she isnt around for your second wedding.
I'm sure it's been said before but I'm not going to read through the thread but here's my 2 cents: I understand why you don't wane your step-niece to come, but to be honest with you, let them come. You're mad now, but if she comes, it's what maybe a hundred more financially, but a lot less more emotionally damaging for her and your mother. It's your wedding of course, but let her hang around the other two nephews, and just enjoy yourself with your fiance/future wife.
If your mom wants to invite the kid, say to her that she has to pay the ticket (meal and everything) for the step-niece. So now, its her decision, if the kid is so important to her to spend money, go ahead, but if she doesnt want to spend money on her, then its not that important that the kid goes.
If you think leaving you niece off the guest list is worth the drama that may occur with your mom and step-sister, then go ahead and uninvite them. Personally, I'd let it slide. Just make sure that your mom doesn't do it again.
I got married this summer, and if my mom would do such a thing I would be mad, and I do not care about the money. It is your wedding, do what you want.
Is having your step-family there really going to destroy your wedding? Maybe having the kid would if there weren't kids already, but there are... I dunno, I'd lean towards inviting them since they probably won't destroy your wedding, but it sounds like not inviting them could destroy your mom (even further).
Your mom shouldn't have invited them. And sorry to insult your mother, but she seems like a b****. Hopefully you will never get married again, so this is a one time deal. The reality of the situation isn't who is right or wrong, but rather which one of you will be less stubborn. You shouldn't have to let someone your mother invited come, but it may be best to give in and avoid the tension with your mother which will only stress you through your wedding and honeymoon. My basic answer is your mom is wrong, but invite the step-sister and niece.
I say let the polls do the talking. I actually think both sides have very good points now that I've read all the comments.
I've been to a lot of weddings over the years and seen a lot of crazy family drama. The one thing I can tell you is the tension leading up to the wedding is way overblown. The actual events happen so fast they will just be a blur. The interplay with the people you invite (even if you don't want them) is very limited. You and your wife will spend all your time drinking and dancing with the people your own age that are really your friends. The older people and the family people are just the background bit players. It won't make any difference in the long run whether The Steps are there or not. It probably should be one last gesture for your Mom to be there and that's important. After the wedding you can cut the whole clan loose. You will have your own family. Make sure your mom has gas money and 1 hotel room. Eat the per head fee for the Steps if they come. Minimize the drama and the guilt, spend the wedding focusing on your wife enjoying her once-in-a-lifetime event. That's what the whole thing is about. Think of it as giving her the biggest orgasm she will ever have, the better you pull it off the the better lover you are. Just ignor the people in the other room.
Like others have said, the way I see it, this day is gonna go so much better for you and your soon-to-be-wife if there's as little drama as possible. Ultimately, your mother's (and niece's) presence will just be a blip on the radar on the big day.....but if all this drama leads to high stress levels BEFORE the wedding, then it's honestly just not worth it. This is your wife's day for you to revel in, and her happiness is the most important thing. I say just go on the path of least resistance, whichever that may be.
