I tried to learn how to roller skate because back then all my friends had birthday parties at the skating rink. I failed all over the place and then never tried again. I just played Galaga instead. Then all my friends got rollerblades, and I failed miserably at that too... but now I'm an awesome internet personality so joke is on them because only queers rollerblade now.
In Cub Scouts, my pinewood derby car was an un-sanded block of wood with wheels and wet paint that made it about halfway down the track.
In 7th grade, a friend of mine convinced me to try out for the softball teams at our school with her. So I obliged and tried out, even though I knew nothing about softball or sports for any matter. I wasn't exactly into sports and was kind of a nerd. Also, pretty much anyone who tried out was put on a team. I was a right-fielder because I sucked and that position gets the least amount of play. Every time the ball was hit my way, everyone including myself cringed and waited for the worst. I don't know what it was, it just freaked me out about catching the ball. One time, a ball was hit my way and I ran forward to catch it. I didn't gauge the distance correctly and the softball bounced off the ground and hit me in the face.... Yes, very embarrassing. I cringe now thinking back on it.
In 8th grade, during football practice I was the left DE in a standing rush position. Lined up as a TE across from me was Robert Ferguson who played for the Packers/Vikings. The dude was already 6'1", I was 5'10". Anyways the play starts, and I try to jam him. He doesn't even feel it, jams me back, and I go flying backwards and land on my ass. That was one of many laughs the team had at my expense during my time in football.
My one experience in team-play basketball I scored two points the whole season. The coach was one of those "talk your ear off" kinda guys who tried way too hard to make the team "special". He had us get matching sweatsuits to warmup and put nicknames on the backs of them for each kid. Freaking psychotic. My nickname? Bones. I was the skinniest dude out there - which, for those of you familiar with intermediate school age is saying a lot. Oh yeah, that helped my self esteem.
in 7th grade, we were playing some spring branch junior high in football. i was playing te and i was the only player who ever had a pass thrown to him. we're down 4 with about a minute left and starting from our own 35. before we head out to the field, the coach tells me to run out of bounds once i make a catch to stop the clock. first play, i catch a 15 yard pass and immediately run out of bounds. after slipping and brusing my ass, everyone comes up to me asking what the hell i was doing? i was just doing what the coach told me. i should've realized that there was no one within 20 yards of me and i would've had a 65 yard td catch and run to win the game. oops.
I played soccer in jr. high. At a game, I got kicked in the nutsack and was writhing in pain on the ground. The coach told me the best thing to do was to stand up, put both my arms out, and jump up and down on one leg. So in front of everyone, there I was in the middle of the field, crying, both arms extended, jumping up and down on one leg. To this day, I don’t know if that worked or the coach was just some sick twisted psychopath who got off on the whole episode…. I played football in 7th grade. I was a 2nd string TE on the B-team. (I only joined to get chicks) We were getting our asses handed to us against Dean Jr High so the coach finally put in the 2nd string O-line. We lined up offsides on 3 straight plays, so the coach pulled the entire line off the field and berated us on how we can’t play if we don’t even know how to line up. We never saw any more PT the rest of the season. Shortly after, I realized my true calling in life was being a band geek, not a world class athlete. I quit the team the next year and the rest, as they say, is history.
when i was a kid, my parents made me wear leg braces. THAT'S RIGHT. top that. they also never put me in little league or football, even though i was obviously interested in both.
similar thing happened to me as EddieWasSnubbed- i had a much better tryout than the majority of the guys, but the fat held me down. In elementary school, I moved. At the new school, they gave me a list of things to bring, and one of them was a floppy disk. I dont know where we got it from, but I brought one of those really huge, old, actually floppy disks (I think the 5 1/4 inch ones). All the kids thought I was some weirdo and said "umm... I dont think thats the right one..." Yeah- I didn't start off too well.
i only had 1 year in little league (cause my parents said it was either hoops or baseball after that). In that year, I can't remember making a single catch in the OF during the season. Granted, not too many balls were hit in the air, and they usually shoved me in RF (I always wanted 2B, and they always put the only guy shorter and smaller than me there) Then in our last game, I moved to LCF for the last 2 innings. We were up by 1 with 2 outs and 2 men on base. Fly ball to LCF, wouldn't ya know it.. I'm in position (sort of), and the ball hits the palm of my glove and literally bounces off the palm and to the ground. Game over. End season (and career) on a losing note due to my big E7(.5) Of course, I find out when I start to play years later on my own that the reason was that I was using a glove that was WAY too small for me, but no one ever told me that back then..
I had one of those in 9th grade English, except there were no windows! Haha. I think it was the last few minutes of class and we weren't doing anything, so I put my head down because my stomach was churning in a bad way. I played along when everyone was asking what the smell was.
Ummmm....why DID you have to wear leg braces? FDR? Polio? I think if you wore leg braces, then there's probably no way in hell a parent would let you play sports. You would've hung yourself in your closet from all other kids making fun of you.
I was the tallest kid in my 9th grade class and have decent basketball skills but I didn't try out for the team during 9th grade because at the time I was going through some stupid emo kid phase and thought sports were a waste of time and instead just wasted my time doing nothing.
Man, I don't get this reference at all, and I see it thrown around a lot. Help a brother out who can't use the search function?
