I was in a relationship for around 4.5 years through college. I haven't seen her since last November, we split last September and I moved away from her. Near the end of it we had been having problems, etc. My ex went on a "save-the-world" type trip to Ecuador (which also was a result of our problems, apparently she became this big philantropist, and the fact that I wasn't in the Peace Corps really upset her) last August for a month, the second trip she took there, her first trip was January 2007. Anyway, I was totally supportive of her doing this, and despite that, she still gave me much grief about not wanting to save the rainforest. Two weeks into her August Ecuador trip she calls me and breaks up with me over the phone. Not surprising, a friend just yesterday notified me that she is in fact in a relationship with someone from Ecuador. (I unfriended her on facebook when we split, so I wouldnt be depressed and stare at her page all day) Anyway, the problem is, it still irks me to this day. It's been 9-10 months since **** hit the fan, I moved far from her,etc. My main concern is my treatment of women. I really treat them like **** these days - ya know, the stereotypical ******* who just uses them for sex and nothing else - I didn't used to be like that, and I do not want to be like that. I want to eventually engage in a relationship, but I'm afraid I will never be able to because of the lack of trust I have in women. Any ideas or suggestions? Anyone have a similar story, and how did you overcome it?
People transfer their feelings and emotional habits onto others. The person who alters you controls you. She obviously has turned you into an emotion devoid sex-hound. (generalizing here, but you get my idea) Do you want to let it effect you this way? If not, time to stop the run-around and start looking for another constructive relationship. Easier said than done, but you'll eventually screw this phase out of your system. Bad joojoo begets bad joojoo.. you're just passing the karma buck my friend.
It's normal not to trust women. The more you trust women, the more it hurts when they eventually ***** you over.
Thanks Donny, that is spot on. I just hope I screw it out of my system sooner than later, because it's not gratifying whatsoever
just keep doing what your doing. finish on there faces, and i mean all of it. it makes me feel better.
You remind me of me last year. Many great posters inspired me with wonderful advice like, "In order to forget her, you must be able to forgive her" and "Bang her hot friend." =) But it is true, you must forgive your enemies or that bitterness will consume you.
I think it's hard to get rid of that bitterness. The problem with dating and relationships is that there are so many pitfalls around. You can be getting over them when something else will happen with a relationship and it will come back. I think it's important to realize that most relationships don't work. That's true before people get married, and then only 1/2 of marriages last. To borrow from Buddy Holly, I guess it's all part of learning the game, but at some point you'd like to think you finally know the game. I don't know if that ever happens.
It sounds like you are getting relief on women who had nothing to do with your situation. I don't see how that is helpful in any way.
Dude, they're all complicit. Every single one of them. They're all cute, fuzzy, fragile little bunnies . . . until it's no longer beneficial, or convenient, or they're just not getting what they want. Then they turn into rabid, heart-breaking ninjas. Don't feel sorry for them, you're just making it easier for them to win.
Don't let your past haunt you. The sooner you learn to leave your ex gf and the feelings that came with her in the past; the sooner you'll be happy. You dwelling on her isn't ruining her relationship with someone else now, so don't let it ruin yours.
If it isn't gratifying whatsoever, then you wouldn't do it. The fact that you keep doing it means that it must be gratifying in some way. If not...stop. Take yourself totally out of the game for a while to focus on making your peace with what has happened to you. Until you do that, you cannot be a part of a meaningful relationship. It sucks...but it is true. Best of luck to you.
The more threads like this pop up, the more I'm convinced that those "special feelings" are fraudulent. Women are deceptive and shallow and propagate the misconception that men are shallow and immature to distract everyone's attention from their own evil ways.
