[Other people] Things you just don't understand....

damnit. my biggest secret exposed.

 

Good thread. I have been wondering the last couple of days how my wife rationalizes the things she does.

Specifically she goes from one extreme to the other - there is no middle ground. Last Thursday, Friday and Sunday at church - she was dressed extremely well (maybe too well for Sunday at church). Then last Sunday afternoon, yesterday, and today she was dressed, well not extremely well but pretty sloppy. It just boggles my mind how she can go from one extreme to the other.

I also have a tough time buying her excuse for not wanting to wear a shoe with a heel because she says she is on her feet all day on concrete yet the times I come to see her, she is always sitting. Hell, I would venture that she sits more than half the time she works. One perk of owning your own business is you can dress however you want and some of the stuff she has worn to work would be considered too casual for where I work at.

 

my gf sets the time on her alarm clock 30 mins ahead so she can hit the snooze a few times and not be late. i've asked her why not just set the alarm time back a half hour? the dang clock would then display the correct time and she could still do her snooze ritual.

but nope, the silly clock always displays 30 mins fast.

 

Same here, but mine is 7 minutes fast.

7 feels good.

 

Why bathroom attendants totally max out the paper towel dispensers.

I mean when you go to dry your hands, you can't get one whole piece, rather you have half a million little pieces, forcing guys like me to have a fit of anxiety and rip out 20 of them and parachute them across the bathroom.

Leave a few inches on the top. Do you honestly believe that many people at my work even wash their hands anyway?

Cripes!!!

 

I do that...except mine is set 21 minutes ahead. I hit snooze twice every weekday morning at exactly 7:39 and then 7:49 am. Then, I'm up at at 7:58 am (actual time is 7:37 am). Then, I'm out the door at about 8:07 am actual time.

Why do I do it? Because I can't f-ing function on normal time in the mornings. I need my bizarro time.

 

1) my parents will buy something thats on sale even though they dont need it, but just because of the fact that its on sale...defeats the whole purpose of saving money

2) i was waiting in line at KFC this lady b****ed out the cashier cause the fountain ran out of Diet Pepso (to go with her FRIED CHICKEN)

 

but cmon, the nylon is thin as hell...

 

same here. my parents are notorious tightwads, but when tax free weekend rolls around, BAM, they spend $500 on clothes for my sister and i.

 

There was a thread about alarm clocks a while back. I was shocked at the number of people who use the Snooze. I barely even knew what it was.

 

People who cross the street so casually (read: at a snails pace) while I'm barreling down on them at 40mph in my car. You would think that they'd pick up the pace a little in order to avoid the big heavy pedestrian-killing object bearing down on them. But no, they are just going to jaywalk at their own damned pace.

 

It's not that hose are hot. It's that they're a pain in the butt. There is no way they could have been invented by a woman. Just put them on wrong, or brush against something sharp, and they will run. Wear them more than an hour and the top middle of them starts to sag. It's like walking around with a stretched-out web between your legs. (And the shaving thing is also probably a factor. ) I don't work in a fancy "office" environment and probably never will, so I'd rather just wear a long skirt, with which hose aren't necessary for the little bit of ankle that you do show.

I don't understand most women, but that's a topic all its own. Most of you don't understand them either, but as I am one, I should be doing a better job. I do not understand their gossip, their cliques, their game playing, all that stuff in the Women At Work thread. I do not understand why they obsess over reapplying their makeup, following fashion trends, having 500 pairs of shoes, or getting nails done. Is it really worth it? It's a lot of time and energy, and worry about not being "pretty" enough, when the problem is you're too artificial. There are a lot of people - at least, my kind of people - who actually appreciate you if you have the guts to not hide under tons of makeup and stuff. I don't understand how shopping is supposed to be fun, or the "female group" social structure in general, or why anyone would join a sorority and have their peers tell them what to do.

There are some things about men I don't personally empathize with either, such as lack of emotional sensitivity or just over-horniness, but at least I can understand that these things come from basic biology. Women don't really have to be that way, at least I don't think so.

 

What if you couldn't access Clutchfans at work but could on your phone?

 

Try watching Star Wars around 1,000.

 

I don't understand how thongs can be comfortable but I always hear ladies say it's like not wearing panties but actually wearing them.

 

watching movies twice is a waste of time to me...

 

When i tell someone something is broken so they walk over the an mess with it to prove to themselves it was broken... do they think i was lying about it being broken:........ example girlfriends push mower i was gonna mow and the string wouldnt rewind so i went inside and said hey the mowers broke the string wont rewind. so what does she do go and mess with the lawnmower for like 10 secs to verify the string wont rewind

 

Once... just once, try this.

Wear stockings with lycra for a day, with an open mind. Just one day. If you try it with garters and you like the stockings, but not the garters, try it again with thigh-highs. Remember to get the kind with lyrca (no sagging).

Just give it a try.

I can't speak for all men, but my view is: emotions obstruct rational thought. We have emotions. We get sad, happy, angry.... just like anyone else. It's just that we have a helluva lot better control over them. Honestly, I'd say that the problem is more with the women letting their emotions get out of hand than the men being emotionally insensitive.

Regarding the over-horniness... I'm convinced that it's 100% biological for us. I can promise you that I would be quite eager to get it on at any time, day or night. About a week ago, my wife said she had woken up the previous night horny at about 4 am and didn't want to bother me. I told her to wake me up the next time that happens 'cause I'd be glad to be awakened at 4 am to have sex. Now, this does NOT excuse men for not controlling themselves. We are in a constant state of horny, but we must always ensure that we exercise proper restraint.

 

Someone calling me on the phone to ask for help with their computer and as I walk them through a list of troubleshooting questions to determine what happened they lie to me in order not to appear stupid.

??

That's like lying to your doctor when s/he's troubleshooting you. "No, I did not stick a replica of the eiffel tower up my ass."

What?