If the marriage falls apart because of sex, it's not just a physical thing. Unless there are health problems, there should be no bad sex. If there is good communication, then initially bad sex will get better over time with listening, understanding and sharing.
I think me and you are saying the same thing, just in different ways... If it falls apart because of "bad sex", then that means there was no communication, listening, understanding, sharing, etc... you are right. Therefore, such a relationship had none of those qualities, only the physical attraction. And when that physical attraction fails you, you are left with nothing.
It means she's not that into you. If you want to date other women, then by all means do it. It you want her to yourself, you won't be getting that and you should throw her away like an old newspaper.
WARNING! WARNING! Run away from the girl! Do not walk! Run away quickly! TUMULTUOUS ROAD AHEAD! WARNING! WARNING!
That's just sad... if she's a good person and they connect on every other level why wouldn't he want to be there as she worked out her issues. Angkor, it sounds like she's a good person with no desire to be serious with someone at the moment. Just continue to try and talk to her. If she's really someone you enjoy being with (when you do get to be with her) and communicating with, just be honest with her and things will either work out or end satisfactorily. Age might have something to do with it to... obviously she is still in school, but is that high school or college? (I'm guessing college) in which case she may be more into spending her free time with her girl friends rather than the pressure and stress of hanging out with guys. Also, never listen to 95% of the crap that comes out when people respond in the hangout. There are 5% intelligent responses... and the rest of them are talking "tap that" and "get it on with someone else". Real responses are harder to wade through the crap for. Also to Luckkky (you really thought about that name didn't you), obviously you and she aren't communicating... You need to either confront her about it or decide you don't care.
Because she will never work out her issues. If he's gonna hook up with a gal like that, he's gonna need to accept that they're gonna have sex problems for as long as they're together. If that doesn't sound appealing, then he should get out early. Also... There's three possibilities here: (1) She was molested by her uncle long ago. She's a sweet gal who was traumatized and will have sexual problems for the rest of her life as a result. Her eventual partner will share in these problems and will have to endure long-term problems with intimacy with her as a result. (2) She's a complete liar. She uses a cooked-up excuse about being molested by her uncle so that she has an excuse for not having her hymen in place. She tells people she's a virgin when, in fact, she has slept with quite a few guys and she keeps this fact hidden. (3) Both - she was molested by her uncle, AND she has slept around. The traumatization she encountered has messed up her mind and as a result, she has slept around and lied about it. Now... Which of those three sounds palatable?
While I agree with you that just because there isn't sex involved, it doesn't mean it is a good dating relationship, but in this case it sounds like there isn't much of a dating relationship to begin with. Over a 7-8 month period, they've hung out 5-6 times and she sometimes doesn't return his calls for weeks at a time, and at the time of Angkor Wat writing his post they haven't talked for 3 weeks. I wouldn't call that a good dating relationship regardless of what the sexual situation is.
forreal Most women in these situation have NO INTEREST in being your friend. Because. . quite honestly. . they have NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE LIKE AS A FRIEND they know what you are like as a GUY THAT WANTS TO DATE and/or ***** THEM but not as a Friend "Doing stuff a BF/ Husband would do . . ." WOULD YOU DO THIS FOR YOUR HOMEBOYS????? If not . .then you already MORE THAN A FRIEND The only question is. . . is it a relationship . .or not. Rocket River
I had a similar experience when I was younger. Long story short you're in the friends zone buddy. The fact that she hasn't committed to being your girl says it all. She's using you for what you're giving her. How about you stop treating her like a queen? I bet she'll drop you like a bad habit. No sex for 7 months? Someone else is tapping that I guarantee you. How do I know? Cause if she really liked you she would take time out of her busy schedule to talk to you on the phone for more than 2 minutes. She is talking to other dudes. I'm sorry man but I went thru this exact same thing with a girl for a whole year. I was 17, but everything still applies. I'm 24 now, and that bull**** will never happen again. DUMP HER already. Find another less complicated girl to make you happy. School doesn't take 24 hours of your day its only 8 hrs. I hate to bring this up every time I post...but...I work at a strip club...and I'm gonna tell you right now...I see women manipulate men everyday...they're so evil. And my brother you're getting played and manipulated. I know dancers that are married and they're husbands don't know what they do. Girls with decent boyfriends that don't know they FUCC for money. Ha ha, oh my....just find another girl man...please do yourself that favor. hellboy
wow... only three possible scenarios? We females are way more complex than that. Just because she's still dealing with her intimacy issues doesn't mean she will always have hang ups... some people just take longer to deal.
true, but even ignoring her situation, Angkor needs to let her go because she is clearly manipulating and using him
Hayesfan has spoken... You better give her your respect!!!! BTW... I don't think everyone's responses were bad. Us guys have a different way of explaining things to other men. As you stated, women are far more complex then men. So we like to keep it short and sweet....
There's nothing wrong with them being friends and talking. But the problem is Angkor actually has feelings for her. He stated in his post that he treats her like a queen. A lot of women do take a advantage of this when they know they have a guy that's wearing his heart on his sleeve. She's clearly not talking to him at weeks at a time. It's not healthy for him. I'm not saying he shouldn't be friends but I will say he needs to learn how to protect himself. If she's got issues, she has to work them out. There's no point of him getting hurt in the process... Time heals all...
I'm being serious - Go Foreign. American girls are wackos and dont respect gentleman-ly treatment. In TRUE seriousness...the molestation is BIG issue. Not an automatic deal breaker but its a warning sign. If or when you do start to get intimate, those inner demons might come out then. And they are generally not too pleasant. And you'll have to be prepared is all...(though crazy pyscho girl sex is the hottest sex, it does come with some colossal headaches). And you might have to play the daddy role. OR, it might mean she'll be "frigid" and cold about everything. Girls will look at that and just see OMG that just means Intimacy=SEX huh. NO, it just means she might not know how to acquire a deeper trust level with ANYONE. And no matter who she's with, she'll just be permanently knee deep when her S.O. wants to go all in. You do have the option of choosing someone stable if it comes down to that. Thats not being an *******, its just life. BUT, that doesnt seem to be THE issue here.... Her "hard to get" might really be "NEVER to get". If you're tired of chasing and playing games, why should you seek that with someone playing games?
