Online dating - pathetic or acceptable?

I'm eating almonds so pardon the grammer.

Plus, I'm tired.

 

haha. All bragging about income aside, I don't think you should have to trade in your BMW for a corolla or lie about your occupation either. If he is discussing number figures then he's laying his own bed.

 

Maybe it's just me, but that doesn't really make any sense.

 

I think you're LAZY and a LOSER if that's your last hope and that's your only REASON for going to "match.con'd" or "e-harmed-on-e". Allright, allright... maybe not "a loser"... just LAZY.

Check out moes and finals' case, for example: the two didn't come to CF.net to "meet", they happened to eye each other digitally, and might download each other's viruses and implant programs by sharing their hard drives and will some time in the future finally create a cloned PC from their expansion slots. Their first purpose of being on CF.net wasn't to "find cyber-love."

You have to rely on something else (computer, dating service, newspaper, etc.) to set you up with someone whom you could have met by going to church, work, working out, out to lunch, etc.? Lazy loo-hoo-say-her.

Hey, I'm entitled to my dumb opinion, since other peeps are saying "Dude met Dudette on eHarmony, and they're doing OK!"... but how many DON'T DO ok?

 

You've been out of the dating game for so long that you really shouldn't have an opinion on this topic. How did you meet your wife? Through a friend? If so, thats LAZY. Meet her at school or something? That's also LAZY. Right? Did she approach you? If so, you are LAZY!

 

Thanks for that jgreen91. By the way, you're a douchebag.

Tell you what: why don't you help me out, and tell me what to do. So when you're on a date, and your date asks what you do for a living and to tell them about your job, what exactly do you say?

Hmmmmmm?

Do you say "sorry, I can't talk about my position or my job title, because if I did, it would be painfully obvious that I have money"? Is that what you do? If you do, great, fine. But I tend to think that's a question I should answer.

I don't discuss what I make, but it's unavoidable just from my job title that people are gonna have a ballpark figure in mind. For the purposes of, say, people on internet message boards, I always jokingly say "corporate IT slave." But if I'm out on a date, they're gonna want to know more than that. And when they realize it's a management role in a company they've definitely heard of, they can safely conclude that I ain't poor.

It ain't bragging. I'm not big into money. I admire a good school teacher more than an executive who makes six figures. Heck, I wanted to be a teacher for a long time. I still do.

It's a legitimate concern. For example: I figured out too late that my ex-fiancee stayed with me for longer than she would've otherwise because she knew I was willing to pay off all her debt and pay her way through grad school. You wouldn't believe how much I threw away on that wench.

And as you say, I shouldn't have to lie about my occupation in order to hide my income. How about that for building trust, huh? I'm sure promising prospective women would be real thrilled about that.

Heck, I already drive a relatively skeezy car in order to not show off my income. But I'm not gonna outright lie about my job. The end. Period. Honesty means a lot to me, and I can't demand honesty from someone else if I can't do that same.

 

I vote no shame. 5-10 years ago, maybe, but not anymore. World's different. It's tough to meet people, especially when you're a couple years past college. I have two friends, good guys, that went this route and found the best girlfriend/relationship they've had in the longest time. One of them's about to propose.

Sure, it can be awkward when people ask how you meet, but in the end - isn't finding the right person the real point?

Evan

 

Let's be honest here bro. Unless you are making well over 100K you need to stop talking like your income is an issue with whom you date. If you are an IT manager and make like 75-85K then you need to "step away from the computer".

Women marry doctors, lawyers, and business owners for their money. Not mid level IT managers.

 

So I guess I imagined all the thousands of dollars that my ex siphoned out of me?

I guess I imagined that I found out the last girl I was dating (very recently, in fact) was sleeping with her social worker friend, while going out to expensive dinners with me all the time?


But it's "not an issue," right? Clearly I should be okay with that happening all the time.

 

Money isn't nearly as important the appearance there of. It all comes down to confidence. If you look like you don't care, women flock. If you give a damn they won't touch you, it's almost instinctual. It's not like all doctors and lawyers make bank, most start out low, but! it's the idea that they marry into. If you give off the vibe that you don't care, that there are tons of girls who would gladly be with you, she'll be interested. The easiest conformation of this is, what girls are the most attractive ones, the ones a lot of guys pine for. Thats why your job shouldn't even come into the picture. It shouldn't matter, if it comes up, just gloss over it, leave her wondering about you. Girls want an experiment, a mystery.

 

Case in point, my friend Michael gets more girls than he knows what to do with, he's a high school dropout who sells furniture at Sam Levitz. He dresses sharp, works out, and carries himself like he makes $200k a year. Most of all, he likes himself.

 

Fixed. My words didn't convey what I meant. I was agreeing with you Drex. Sometimes you can't sidestep the income issue.

 

She didn't siphon it out of you, you gave it to her. And you knew she was a bi-sexual girl who couldn't be trusted. She didn't use you for your money, she was just a bad person and she was having her cake and "eating" it too. Pardon the pun. And she wanted you to play less video games - and play with her more. You didn't - so she found it elsewhere.

That really has nothing to do with money, that just sounds like a w****. She was probably sleeping with more than just the social worker. I'm sure she liked your company as well as the nice dinners YOU took her too. I seriously doubt she twisted your arm and made you take her to these nice places.

I don't think it has much to do with you money. I do however think it has more to do with the fact that these women see you as husband material, someone responsible and someone with a level head and a good job. BUT they are just aren't ready to give up their whorish ways and settle down so they kept you around while they played - hoping you'd still be there once their fun times were over. And I applaud you for getting these skanks out of your life even though I'm sure they were hot and a lot of fun in the sack.

 

I know, sorry if you thought any of my ire was directed at you. It was all solidly targeted at jgreen91.



It burns me up when people bash me for bringing up the issue. "Oh, you're just bragging, blah blah blah..."

It's not a hypothetical. It's happened to me. More than once.

 

It's only acceptable if you've been talking for a grand total of 4 days and are already talking marriage.

Be sure to webcam with her first. I met up with a long time pen pal of mine a long time ago (yeah whatever, I'm a nerd) and holy**** she was NOT like what her pics showed!

 

She threw you some angles shots right? Damn tricky fat girls trying to trick guys! Oh she looks hot on MySpace but is fugly in real life.

 

Exactly... why do girls like taking those angled shots from above their heads? It's worse than emo shots and annoying.

 

Yeah, I did give it to her... I trusted her. In fact, she was lying to me all along. Sorry for not seeing through the lie. I guess that makes me a bad person.

Uhhhhh... nooooooo I didn't. I knew she was bisexual about a year into our relationship because she told me. She had never denied that fact, I just hadn't asked. And there were no signs that she was cheating, or lying... about anything. I only found out about all that AFTER THE FACT. So why don't you get your facts straight before you criticize?

In the years of our relationship, I could count the number of times I even played games in her presence on one hand. Yeah, she hated games, but that wasn't the real issue; it was an excuse on her part. The issue was that I was frequently in a bad mood from working 70 hours a week, and that she's incapable of not grabbing every shiny object that comes her way.

Towards the end, in my mind I knew the relationship was going south, but I thought it was a rough period we would get through, because I had told her in advance that I was going to be in a bad mood for several months (work). Turns out she was sleeping around during that period, and conveniently waited for me to make a payment on her behalf before running off with the younger guy.

Come on, man, get real. So I'm not supposed to take women who seem promising to nice restaurants now? Boy, you're a charmer alright.

I'm very aware that these women saw me as "husband material," and that's what I want to be. But I can't give what I don't have, and that would be my situation had I picked the career path I really wanted (English Teacher) instead of the "smart" one (IT). Hence the money concern.

It's magnified because I work so damn much (60 hours-ish) that I crash pretty hard when I get home, and I can't really exercise like I used to because of my back. So I feel like I have very little to talk about besides my job. And when I talk about my job responsibilities, it's hard for anyone not to make the "gee, I'd guess that pays rather well" connection.

So that's a lot of my problem. My job dominates my life so much it can't help but come up within a half-hour of meeting someone. That leads to women concluding that I'm that steady, high-income guy who can take care of them, and that leads to my problems.

 

Well, in my mind Online dating is dangerous for privacy issues and trusting this girl to be "Smoking hot" is very doubtfull online, it's cool if you like personality more than looks but I like picking up chicks the old fashion way.