I have to say...yeah. I follow this philosophy. Some people just don't have morals or the concept of respect.
I know things aren't always simple, but if you cheat, IMHO, you're more likely to cheat again...human nature...Is that true of everyone, of course not, but it's there...
Or enough, a big reason why the military has the highest divorce rates, no sex on deployments............well at least for the one on deployment.
Happening at all. I would imagine there are a lot of situations where one person cheats on the other in a fleeting encounter and then never informs their partner of it.
I would think that this is true. Probably like - if you go to a prostitute once, it is much more likely that you will do it again. You cross a certain barrier and then the hurdle to doing it again is lower.
<br> to me this is the worst of the lot. If you're gonna cheat at least have enough guts to say you did. I guess youre right, that is interesting to think about. Lynus: your point of view is somewhat similar to mine. There's never a point in being mad. Just let it go and move on (what I told my friend). Though I guess the type of cheating also defines a lot. I.e. A kiss is less worse than sex... But idk
Rashmon: I disagree I don't think there is any situation where cheating is justifiable and rational.... You can always break up with the person IMO...
I think that's awfully idealistic. I haven't cheated on anyone in literally many years and the last time I did was at the tail end of an emotionally abusive relationship. Things had finally started looking up for me, and....well I don't know how to describe it without going into more detail than I'd care to discuss, but she sure wasn't happy for me. Girl was just nuts. I should have been able to just end it but for whatever reason I wasn't able to at the time. So....I got another one to ease the transition, then broke up with the crazy one. I'm not saying what I did was right, but it's not like I went to a bar and picked up some girl and lied to everyone involved and threw it in her face as some means of revenge for treating me poorly. For better or worse, I needed a way out, so I went and found one. What I did wasn't right, but it sure could have been a lot worse. Oh well. ::shrug:: And like I said, this was years ago. I haven't done that since and wouldn't do it now.
I am I repeat cheater. Never been caught though. I wonder if that plays into it. I am only recently starting to feel bad about it. But it has more to do with me not caring or taking relationships very seriously during the entire duration. So you guys are saying there is no chance for me? Ill let you know 10 years from now.
Lynus: like I said I think what you originally said was right. I'm sure you weren't wrong in what you did. That doesn't make it right though. It may be a bit idealistic, but you gotta strive for something, right?
To clarify, I'm not trying to pass judgement on your situation in any way. I realize situations differ, I was just trying to discuss the general sentiment. I probably should have added a poll
I don't know - I like my life right now. Would I want to know if my wife cheated on me 10 years ago and hadn't since? Probably not. How would that improve my life? Similarly, if I had done the dirty deed many years ago (say with a folk dancer or something) - how would telling her now to soothe my conscience make her feel better or improve her life? 1. Don't cheat. 2. If you're going to cheat, do it with a pro or a one-night stand. 2a. emotional infidelity is much worse than the physical act. 3. If you do cheat, don't get caught. 4. If you don't get caught, why would you be an idiot and tell on yourself? 5. Don't cheat. If you have a bad relationship and then cheat, you're just taking the coward's way out, and it will hurt more in the end.
gutter Snipe: I dont think it is the cheating itself but rather the emotional issues associated with it. If your s.o. Cheats on you, there is obviously serious trust issues. Would you really want to live your life hiding something like that from your wife? Maybe it is just me, but that would drive me nuts. It's just the lack of respect/care/honesty that goes along with it. What really strikes me is that in most cases it is a completely selfish act. You aren't looking out for your s.o. in any way at all. Why would you be ok with that, much less want that type of thing to be kept from you?
Nobody is perfect and so nobody is perfect for someone else. If someone cheats on you, or you on they, there are issues that can be varying which must be dealt with. Accurate communication and blunt truthfulness might save the day, but also might not.
i don't believe in possessive relationships.....i believe in emancipation of the spirit and the loins.....i tell a girl straight up from the get-go that i gots to be free!!
Simply enough once a person cheats and realizes they can get away with it they will always cheat. But I don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater because in some form or faction we have all cheated before so with that theory everyone cheats and will always cheat.
I cheated once in 35 years of being married (7 years in), the guilt almost killed me. I had the raging hormones and certainly felt like I wanted to hit any strange I could manage but the opportunity only smacked me in the face the one time. The lesson was about respecting the person you have made a promise to and honoring your commitments. If you feel like you can't do that then don't make the commitment. It's a tough conflict though, between your testosterone wanting to spread your seed and inflate your ego and the emotional craving for a steady, reassuring relationship to get off the roller coaster of drama. I just know deceit causes you emotional stress that manifest itself in a lot of unhealthy ways. ie. substance abuse, IBS, sleep loss, eating disorders etc. Holding to a set of morals you believe to be true is a step toward happiness.
Emotional cheating, physical cheating, lies, hidden operations, deceit, betrayal, all that... is CHEATING. When you don't keep your commitment, that is cheating too. Also, what you consider cheating might not be the same as what another person considers cheating. You might think you're not doing it, but when someone else finds out, and they say: "OMG... wait until so-so finds out"... you think "Nah, I wasn't cheating" but if they don't know about it or you do something behind their back, I'm sorry but it's cheating.
