1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

  2. Watching NBA Action
    Come join Clutch as we're watching live James Harden and the Clippers take on Luka Doncic and the Mavericks...

    LIVE: NBA Playoffs!
    Dismiss Notice

[old] Milwaukee Bucks funny fan letter to Dwight Howard

Discussion in 'NBA Dish' started by coffeelover665, Jan 5, 2014.

  1. coffeelover665

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,018
    Likes Received:
    59
    Listen, I know Houston seems like a great fit. You got Harden's beard distracting everyone from your average post game, and Lin and Parsons can't trash talk about your toughness because they are in a full on bromance. No state income taxes. I get it. Slim Thug fixin' you with bad b****es. I get it. Baby Mamas only getting 20%. I get it.


    But if you though Kobe was riding your ass, wait until you have a pair of post legends trying to make you a competent post scorer after your neglect of the art for nearly the past decade.


    Dwight, you can still change your mind. Come to Milwaukee. We almost literally don't have a roster. We almost literally don't have a general manager capable of making intelligent decisions. We almost literally will have probably watched all the teams in our division get better than us, worse than us, and then better than us again over the last decade. You can literally be the GM and build-a-team like some 2k ****.


    No one will talk **** about you. There is literally no pressure. People are too burnt out after Packer season to give a **** about this franchise. Aaron Rodgers and Ryan Braun will be recognized on the street more than you will. People will ask you if you are a new linebacker for the Packers and you'll respond "No, I'm the center for the Bucks" and they will ask you why you are here instead of in Tampa Bay practicing your long snaps.

    How the **** could you not want to play inside of this ****ing thing? [1] . It looks like the ****ing architect realized last minute there were no ****ing windows in his original design, so he decided to compensate by ****ing gluing a smaller building to it that is only windows.

    WE COULD LITERALLY PAINT A MURAL TO YOU ON 90% OF THE BUILDING. LITERALLY. LOOK AT IT AGAIN. I PROMISE YOU THE OTHER SIDE LOOKS EVEN WORSE.
    PLUS, NOW YOU GET TO PLAY NEXT TO

    DREW GOODEN: FLOOR SPACER

    LARRY SANDERS: SHOT BLOCKER

    JON HENSON: SHOT BLOCKER

    GREEK ROOKIE GUY: FREAK

    GUSATVO AYON: ARM SLEEVE

    LUC RICHARD MBAH A MOUTE: LITERALLY A PRINCE OF CAMEROON OR SOME ****. ALSO IS GOOD AT DEFENSE.

    EKPE UDOH: SHOT BLOCKER

    ISH SMITH: IS A POINT GUARD

    WOLTERS: RACIAL DIVERSITY

    ERSAN: FLOOR SPACING AND ETHNIC DIVERSITY
    Think about your stats. I can see you averaging 35 and 15. You will be the first ever MOST VALUABLE IMPROVED PLAYER COACH AND DEFENDER OF THE YEAR AWARD winner. ****, we'll bring you off the bench if you wanna win sixth man of the year while your at it.

    This is exactly what you want. Build your own team, no pressure, have fun, max deals until you die, no trade clauses, player options. Amnesty yourself if you get bored, no one will even know you were here.

    Best Case Scenario: Build your own championship team
    Worst Case Scenario: You win MVIPCDOTY award(s) and amnesty yourself when you get bored and do this whole free agency thing some other year
     
    2 people like this.
  2. Juxtaposed Jolt

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2010
    Messages:
    20,802
    Likes Received:
    16,589
    It's only "old" if you've read it before. And I haven't!

    Hilarious, OP. Repped. And LOL @ the TB Bucs reference.
     
  3. heypartner

    heypartner Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 1999
    Messages:
    62,559
    Likes Received:
    56,269
    wow. I now feel compelled to start a website to get Giannis Antetokounmpo out of that ****ing ugly building.

    We need Jeff Balke to start a "Save the Alphabet" campaign.
     
  4. apollo33

    apollo33 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2009
    Messages:
    20,386
    Likes Received:
    16,554
    ish smith is still in da league lmfao
     
  5. MiracleShot

    MiracleShot Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2009
    Messages:
    1,606
    Likes Received:
    475
    I, too, go on Reddit.
     
  6. Kam

    Kam Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2002
    Messages:
    30,476
    Likes Received:
    1,322
    That's pretty good. Where was this lifted?
    Never knew how ****ty the Bradley Center looked.
     
  7. Dentyne

    Dentyne Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2013
    Messages:
    509
    Likes Received:
    10
    lol

    too funny

    :D
     
  8. CCorn

    CCorn Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2010
    Messages:
    21,431
    Likes Received:
    21,216
    Wow that building is ugly.
     
  9. NateNate

    NateNate Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2008
    Messages:
    2,387
    Likes Received:
    531
    And ballparks.com gave that building a 5 on a scale of 1-10 for architecture. Toyota center? 5 as well. Wtf
     

Share This Page

  • About ClutchFans

    Since 1996, ClutchFans has been loud and proud covering the Houston Rockets, helping set an industry standard for team fan sites. The forums have been a home for Houston sports fans as well as basketball fanatics around the globe.

  • Support ClutchFans!

    If you find that ClutchFans is a valuable resource for you, please consider becoming a Supporting Member. Supporting Members can upload photos and attachments directly to their posts, customize their user title and more. Gold Supporters see zero ads!


    Upgrade Now