Is she one famous BBS poster who lives in TEXAS and is a college professor and has been that BBS's source of ESTROGEN since '96? Then you two are the perfect match. Yes, do it in the pooper.
Then give her the address to this site if you haven't already, there are plenty of people here to vouch for you without actually directly talking to her. I'll start the "Jeff is so cool if I was a chick I'd totally date his red headed ass" thread. Damn, I know my advice seems like I'm trying to torpedo this, but I truly am interested in helping.
Actually, the easiest way to go about this is to invite her out with friends. As in "Hey, some friends and me are going up to the Continental Club. Would you like to come along?" or "We're going up to BW3's tonight. Would you and your friends want to meet up with us?" It makes it an easy out for her if she feels uncomfortable. A lot of times, they'll come up with a friend so they can ditch if they want to and blame it on their friend. (not saying she'll want to leave, they just like to have that option.) Even though coffee seems harmless enough, it is still a "one on one" thing, and some people can get nervous about that.
I've met 3 girls online this year. I'm not sure what your girl's problem is. So far in my experience, if I have had several emails back and forth then she is eager to meet up. I've never had a girl keep talking to me and then not want to meet up. Usually they'll just stop responding if they're not interesed.
Like others said, I wouldn't mention it for awhile and continue to chat or email or talk on the phone for awhile. When you do ask her if she'd like to do something, definitely be specific. I like the Niko Niko's idea at lunch. That place is hella crowded and it's more safe. If I were to meet a guy online (not my thing), personal safety would be my biggest concern. Don't suggest meeting at a bar though...coffee shop, cafe, etc are all safe. Especially mid day. Good luck!
nice move...it's already out on the table. (no reference to bachlor party) or she's the raging psychopath that likes secluded area's so she can easily dispose of your remains. just saying.
The fact that she said, "okay" at all indicates that she likes you and has interest in meeting you. Otherwise, she would have slammed on the brakes right there and said something like, "well, let's get to knowing each other a little more" or something like that. However, the fact that that she slowly said 'okay' and didn't jump all over it indicates that she's a little nervous about meeting you. This could possibly be because the internet-dating-moving-to-the-real-world can be a nervous thing. Next time you talk to her, begin a normal conversation. After 5 - 10 minutes, say, "Hey, last time we talked, I mentioned that we should get together sometime, and I kinda got the vibe that you were hesitant. You sure you're okay with that?" Give her an opportunity to share her feelings about the situation. If she states that she is hestiant or nervous, don't push her. Or, if she wants to, but is concerned that you might be a serial killer, send her an image of your drivers license, tell her the evening intenerary, and have her share the info with a friend. That way, if you kill her in cold blood and she doesn't come home that night, the friend can submit the info to the police.
It's a sad day when you constantly have to worry about that with someone new you meet. I always found it odd when couples have been married for 10 years or so and find out an awful truth about their spouse from 20 years ago. Just strange to me, but I guess there are kooky people everywhere. Sorry to derail.
She's probably cautious, however, if you think its worth it, take it slow...if not, find another...I did the internet thing and after a long, sometimes crazy search, I've found someone that makes me happy on all levels... But to get there, I had numerous nice, long conversations on the phone, some crappy dates, etc... if there was hesitation, it was because they didn't look like there pics, still involved emotionally with someone, etc... My advice, keep on keeping on...You'll be hittin' it in no time... j/k...
first of all your doing it all wrong..ill put down steps for you 1. Tell her she's 'badass' that will get her attention and she'll want to go for coffee or something 2. After she agrees about the coffee ask her if she needs a 'ride ride' she'll agree 3. after coffee, take her to your house and put on some 'Purple Rain' 4. take some pictures we need pictures
I hate "err, um, ehhhh, ummmmmmmmm, errrrrrr" conversations. Invite her to one of your gigs. If she don't like to see you in action, move on. Good luck, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Thanks for all the advice...well, by "all" I mean all the non-crazy suggestions. Honestly, I'm taking everything slow. I have zero expectations. I just find her interesting and want to see what happens. No biggie. But, I'll keep you posted and, no, I will not be posting pictures.
Whatever the underlying reason, I agree that she sounds reticent, but willing. You probably just need to get her over the hump (so to speak). Best way to go noncommittal is to set the stage for a "chance meeting" in public. If there's an event/place that you are at regularly, let her know about it. You play with your band fairly regularly, right? Let her know about your next couple gigs. She can check you out from a distance and gently warm up to the idea of the initial encounter. You get to present yourself in a flattering light (cool rocker dude), and if there's booze around, that never hurts.
