Of the 95% of men that want to bang the chick. What percentage ever do? That's the only answer you need. We may think about sex every seven seconds. How often do we have it tho'. I mean seriously, of all the chicks we fantasized about, and god knows there were a lot, how many did we bang. Next to none. Your women is pretty safe.
Thanks for your intense interest. In that scenario, I make her wear a chastity belt, of course. And I make sure to **** her about 18 times straight before she goes out. And then I stare at the single guy real mean like, with a sneer that shows at least one of my canines. Then, if he looks shifty, I get in my car and follow them around. But anyway, to play along with the typical fear, say some guy wants to bang her. So unless you're talking about rape, I would have to assume she consents, and that's the trust part, sorry. She won't consent, I believe in my heart of hearts, knowing what I know. Look, I think you might have the wrong impression. Neither of us is just randomly going to have drinks with single people who hit on us. I'm talking about old friends, mutual friends, maybe friends from work. Sometimes those friends are single, at least for brief periods of time, and it would dumb (to us) to label them verbotten until they dating or married. I see where droxford is coming from, and it's smart to stay away from tempting situations for sure. But my bottom line is I don't think it's sensible to say there's one right way for everybody. Well, actually, I think Trader_Jorge's way could be the right way for everybody. His post is making me rethink my entire romantic life. (PS -- do I think men and women can be friends? Let me say this: "When Hairy Tossed Sally" or whatever is one of the worst works in the history of human expression. It's hard to realize at age 20 or what have you, but once you've known someone for a five or ten years, it becomes much more easy to not bed them).
Damn, no edit. coma, I see I just retyped some of your post. So yeah, I suppose I'm saying we don't end up in situations (not very often) where one of us is out with somebody who just wants sex. If one of us seemed to want to start doing that, we'd definitely have something to talk about there. I don't think a little rule would have helped, however, if you see what I mean.
I agree with B-Bob here. Most friendships that I know of do not have either party asking for sex. If anyone wants it, or wishes they could get more involved, they keep it to themselves. Otherwise, when you're in a relationship, you would be stuck having no contact with the opposite sex except for that person. Your boyfriend/husband might be fine physically, and might be good for a stable, permanent relationship, but he may or may not meet all your needs mentally and emotionally. It seems to me that it's better to be able to have friends, even if it is tempting sometimes, than to just not be allowed to have any of what you need. Maybe I'm compromising too much here, but if you go too far with these friendships, it's your own fault. Things don't "just happen". ("Well, we were just talking, and drinking, and drinking some more, and my clothes accidentally came off, and then...") As long as you have any decent amount of control over your life, and are putting effort into your real relationship, you should be OK. Now, if your friend is wanting to bang you, and brings this up, even after getting turned down... why would you hang around that person? Seems like it would make things kind of awkward - unless you really wanted it. But this doesn't apply to most friendships. (mrpaige's girlfriend's "friend" notwithstanding... what a scumbag...) As for "why else would any heterosexual male have any female friends?" - same reason they would have male friends, maybe?? Otherwise, either 1) you have no friends, or 2) they are all male. And why should they have to be male?
I feel sorry for some of you. I really do. Some of my best friends are women, some of them married, and I would hate to think that I couldn't hang out with them because of jealousy on the part of my wife. She has guys that she goes to lunch with or has drinks at a bar with and has known for years. I don't worry about her and she doesn't worry about me. If she does, she hasn't mentioned it. Maybe it's because we met when this was a far more open and liberal society. I miss that. We've known each other for nearly 30 years, much of it married, and if we ever start acting the way some of you are bringing up I think it'd be time to make a change. I don't see that happening.
I have had and continue to have female friends who are just friends. People I've met through working or through school. Never my best friends, but people I would sometimes hang out with. And I don't normally worry about women I'm with having male friends. It just changes when the guy is a former lover and is so constantly trying to rekindle that. Like I said, it's not that I think she's doing anything with him or would succomb to his advances (though I have to admit that when we dated the first time, she cheated on me several times when we were supposedly dating exclusively. That's one of the reasons I think she's so suspicious now. Because she was a cheater before). There's just a desire to not want to be made a fool of. The people who I've known who have had affairs usually don't get caught right away. So there's that time when you're with a person and she's out there doing the batusi with some other caped crusader and making you look like an idiot. And sometimes the signs that your significant other is cheating are hard to read, especially when there are whole areas, like hanging out with guy friends, that are not supposed to raise suspicions. It's just a complicated thing. I think there's also a level of insecurity. When you've got a great woman, you can't help but think she's too good for you and sooner or later, she's going to figure that out and finally decide to get it on with that guy who's in better shape, has more money and lives in the big house in McKinney. Even when those thoughts are completely ridiculous, sometimes you can't help but think of them.
If you to have a normal, honest relationship and trust one another, then don't worry about it...If there are problems, then yes, it is a HUGE problem... There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but sometimes jealous feelings creep into it, whether or not they are there are not, its human nature... Good luck!!!
Why is it wrong to have sex outside the main relationship? Is it possible to have a normal life in the relationship, anyway? Honey, can you watch the kids tonight? I've got a sex date. I'm thinking it's going to be pretty hot, so I'll be home late. Or in the morning, whatever. Can you make me breakfast? I'll pick up the dry cleaning. Thanks. Bye.
Tough topic...infidelity is one of the worst sins you can commit against a person in my book (no, I didn't really write a book). For a long time, I had a problem with my current girlie's past. Not fair, I know, but again, I have a huge dislike for infidelity, and often the people who commit it. Six or so years ago, she was heavy into this guy Scott, and she was travelling at the time with her job. She evidently was seeing some MARRIED guy on the side, and sleeping with him when he was in town, or vice versa. That's a double whammy in my book!!!!! Cheating on your loved one, and also screwing some woman's husband. Damn, I can feel my blood pressure rising now. Well, we worked all that out (my having a problem with it), and she was much younger then, and would never do that now. But I can tell you this - it did shake my trust in her just a little bit for a short time.
