No more dating

Weird. I thought everybody knew that drummers had this great passionate magnetism about them... that they are automatically "hot"... right?

Unless there really is that "brain damage" thing. I don't think it's that, so much as that we like to hit things. Even if we don't like to hit people, it probably says something about our personality... maybe we're intense, maybe we're psycho, maybe we just have "issues".

Maybe more women should be in bands. Seems like it worked for your 4 friends... looks like they all found someone to date.

 

Classic drummer jokes:

What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer

A guy walks into a bar slobbering and drooling. He is barely coherent and walks with a limp. The bartender seeing him carefully takes him and sits him down beside another man who looks equally as dysfunctional. The bartender wonders what they will talk about but figures they will probably be better sitting together than with the normal patrons. After a minute or two, one of the men looks at the other and says, "Hey, what kind of sticks do you use?"



Of course, the best two musician jokes of all slam bass players and female singers:

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

How many female singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds the light bulb and the world revolves around her.

 

I think this is often the case. Virtually all of my friends are married. In fact, everyone in both of my bands is either married or engaged. I mean, MUSICIANS!

To be honest, I'm not sure I have any close friends who aren't married, in serious long-term relationships or gay/lesbian.

 

I'm in my mid-30's but am blessed, or cursed depending on the situation, with looking like I'm at least 10 years younger. As I mentioned earlier I don't have too many problems meeting women but most of the ones I meet are much younger than me. While I'm really flattered getting attention from younger women things usually gets awkward once they realize how old I am. For me there doesn't seem to be many women my age who aren't married, coming off bad divorces or something else. For that matter I get the feeling that when I meet women my age they either dismiss me as being too young, nice to look at but not worth dating, or worse I've been out with someone who had a bit of grey and had a waiter ask her, "and what would your son like?"

 

Oh, damn, that sucks. I'm kinda the same way. I'm 35, but I could pass pretty easily for mid to late 20's. It seems like a lot of these dating places either put you in the under 35 or over 35 category. That just seems odd to me like that is the ultimate cutoff between old and young. It is like 26-35 or 36-50. WHA??? I guarantee I have more in common and would have more luck with the average 26-year-old than the average 45-year-old.

 

Age is a number. That's it. Ferdinand is 13 years older than me, not that it matters because he's always looked and acted young. Still, I'm not normally attracted to significantly older guys, and if I'm ever back out in the market I'm not doing that again.

I would love to look 10 years younger than my real age. I had thought I looked at least a few years younger... things may be changing, though. I met one of my new students for the first time Wednesday, and she thought I was about her age, which was... 35. Don't think so. I'm only 29, and probably younger than that mentally/socially. I sure hope I don't look like 35.

Since I dress and act "young", people usually think I'm somewhere between 25-28. I'm desperately trying to fight the aging until I think I'm ready to be older. I would like to do the "young" stage of my life right before I move on to the next one.

In a perfect world... I wouldn't mind younger men. Sure, why not. They might not particularly be interested in me though.

 

Part of me wonders how I will handle the fact that this will be the first time I've been single since I was 22. In reality, I have been in some committed relationship since the age of 21 - 14 years. I totally skipped my 20's when it came to being "single."

Being a rock musician and someone who often works with people significantly younger than me, I tend to get along better with people younger than me anyway, but the first time I heard a 17-year-old refer to a 33-year-old by saying, "Man, I can't believe how old you are," I kinda took a GULP.

I will say that when I go to places like Match.com or Yahoo Personals, I find lots of people between 27 and 35 until I start looking at profiles. When I sort for things like "no kids," "not radical right wing conservative," "likes or at least doesn't have a problem with long hair," "not morbidly obese," etc, I find the numbers go from like 1000 potentials to around 10. Scary.

 

Hey Jeff,

I'd like to offer one piece of advice to you. You've obviously been to match.com and Yahoo! personals, for curiousity, but maybe for a bit more. Sometimes the heart wants what the mind doesn't. Also, saying and doing are two completely different things.

Anyway, don't worry about dating right now. Concentrate on yourself. This is your chance to make yourself happy. Enjoy being single for awhile. Accept it, and run with it. Don't try and jump into something to fill that void.

Maybe none of this applies to you because you really aren't looking, or you already live your life as you like it. But I just wanted to say that it applied to me. I stopped lying to myself, took a long, hard look at my life, and changed what I didn't like. I'm single, and I'm loving life.

Good luck man.

 

coma: Thanks. I'm definitely not ready for any kind of long-term serious relationship, however, I am built for them. The reality is that every relationship that I started just for fun turned into something that either led to or was leading to something serious. It is just in my nature to commit and be loyal.

There are honestly times when I wish I was more of a casual dater and more of a "fling" guy because those opportunities were there in the past. But, I am just not wired that way. I'm emotional. I get attached.

I am going to fight that urge for a while because I am definitely not ready for long-term seriousness coming off of a 9-year marriage. But, I know me and I know that it will be tough to be really casual in my dating efforts.

 

Being single can be fun. It doesn't sound like you're depressed, which is essential to enjoy being single.

Give it a try for a few months. You may enjoy this "New World", especially because it will be the first time you've done it as an adult.

 

Jeff;

I agree with Fatty. When I got out of a long term relationship awhile ago I was kinda depressed but worse I felt and acted desperate which didn't go over well. When it comes to meeting and dating things just seem to go easier if you relax and enjoy it and not expect to meet someone every time you go out or be depressed that you didn't meet someone when you went out.

Good luck to you man. If I still lived in Houston I would gladily be your wingman.

 

Maybe I'll start a side job as a love doctor like that Will Smith movie coming out.

 

yeah, dating blows. I recently spent 55 bucks on a date but when I ran out of money, I asked my date for a dollar and she got all mad. So yeah... I think its expensive and I suck at it.
I say save your money for your pad - my goal is to save up and get a nice couch and plasma tv, then invite chicks over. Its a lot cheaper than going out and its a more comfortable environment. Just make sure the girl isn't psycho before you give out your address.

 

You're probably talking about ASF, right?

I don't know if someone posted this before but this might help,here:

http://www.fastseduction.com/

 

Yes.

Yes.

I would, but I am afraid it might lead to us losing our picture posting privileges again...and I might get kicked...but you can send me e-mail through the board!