If anybody thinks that the average Joe who has a healthy marriage would risk that, have their entire life turned upside down and lose at least half just to get an hour of pleasure is CRAZY. Most of the guys who fool around are NOT IN A HEALTHY MARRIAGE. Something is WRONG in that relationship. Otherwise, many guys can quell their urges. It's one of the things that separates us from mere animals.
My wife lets me comment on other women's fashions if I accompany her shopping (read: Hold her bags while blocking tiny, girly aisles) once in a while
1. Under the right circumstances anything is possible. . . cheating. . . killing. . . .self inflicted gun shot wounds.. . . . The statement in and of it self says nothing 2. The Ideal of Marriage like everything is changing. Gender Roles are changing. . . . Morality and ethics are changing. . . i think your observation bears out these changes. 3. Go with the flow. . . . Rocket River Only plan to marry once. . . . . if it don't work . . i doubt i do it again soe. . . . . i'll put alot of effort into keeping it . .. that being said. . . . sh*t happens
ohmygod! you've got to love the irony of the front page of the Chronicle today running a high society murder-by-car of a cheating husband caught in the act!!! http://www.chron.com/ The wife and 16yr old daughter (screaming "I hate you daddy") were beating up the husband and girfriend in a hotel parking lot. The wife eventually gets back in the car and runs over the husband, and as the stunned crowd is banging on the windows, she runs over him 3 more times and leaves the Mercedes parked on top of him. Damn! Don't mess with Texas girls!!
I've always found this attitude interesting. Guys freak out if they think their girlfriend is having sex with another man, but actively encourage her to have sex with another woman. How is it different? Don't men worry that their girlfriends will find out that they like sex with other women more? After all, they do have access to the "equipment" 24 hours per day and are probably better versed at its proper care and usage ...
Don't do it. Even better, never give yourself the chance to do it. It will never be worth it. But hell yeah, those Brasil fans are hot.
Refman -- I agree entirely... there is no way in the world i would put my family on the line for a moment of pleasure... i would risk hurting my best friend, my wife...i would risk never being able to laugh with her again...to never grow old with her...i would lose my the companion of my life...the woman who had the patience to put me through law school and to contribute to supporting us while i was building a practice...my very best friend....no freaking way!!! i would risk my son thinking of his father as a lying, cheating b*stard...i would risk getting to live with him...putting myself in a position where i might only get to see him a couple of times a week...to spend some holidays without him. i can't live without my son....no freaking way!!! the detriment of those things so far exceeds the benefits of a moment of pleasure, it's unbelievable. as you get a bit older, you hopefully start to realize these things.
Somehow I believe that if this thread were entitled, "Tell us how much you love your wife and family" it wouldn't be nearly as popular. 'Eating' is also an urge that separates us from animals, and causes many men to leave their families prematurely. Do all you 'urge killers' have 0% bodyfat as well?
To worry, we'd have to care that our girl likes women better. As long as we get ours...we're fine...and with another girl around we don't have to worry about that whole proper care and usage thing, and instead we'd be freed up to go back to chatting at cc.net or sit back and watch the girls. Quite a very simple gender, we are, about things like that.
Yes, that's exactly the same thing. And everything is either 100% or 0%. There is no such thing as in-between when it comes to urges and genetics and self-control. Men are nothing but a collection of urges we cannot control, from actually having to eat, to having sex, to hunting and gathering, to whatever else we may have a genetic predisposition toward. There's no such thing as self-control and no such thing as self-determination. If we eat, that means we also cheat.
I had a feeling JB's Wifey would have something to say about this subject! Mrs. JB, I admit, it is a double standard of sorts and have no legit explaination other than it's the fantasy of at least 90% of the male population to have more than one woman at the same time. If that situation arose for a single guy I'd be willing to wager that at least 90% of that group would do it. If the opportunity came up for an "involved" man, I seriously think that percentage would drop dramatically because I think alot of men would fear harming the current relationship. As for their girlfriend/wife possibly preferring other women, I've yet to meet a bi female that prefers women over men. The most popular reason being "it's just not like the real thing."
You miss my point again Mr P. Instead of stating your position, your implications are such that anyone not like you is an animal. People are different and deal with issues differently, there is no exact formula for happiness or fidelity. When it's all over what will you regret most... the things you have done, or the things you haven't?
Oh I get it now. This all of a sudden looks like you are trying to rationalize something that you want to do that you know is wrong. And now that your attempt has been met with resistance, you decide to wildly go after irrelevant analogies to support your position. People ARE different, and they DO deal with issues differently. Some people deal with them the RIGHT way and live happily ever after. Others deal with them the WRONG way and leave a trail of pain and broken hearts. I'll tell you another thing...fooling around on your wife is DANGEROUS. Try it and bring home a disease. At that point I'll be willing to bet that you'd regret BOTH the things you did (cheat) AND the things you didn't (keeping your wife disease free). But hey...it's your conscience.
If you weren't joking, I think it's obviously different. For one, men and women are different. Another thing, desiring the same sex is unusual, not the norm. It's thought of as experimentation. If only what, 5 percent of the population is gay, to a man there's obviously very little fear in your significant other switching teams, and justifiably so. Btw, am I the only one that was turned on to read that Mrs. JB had a one night stand? I have to agree with Refman, in that if you feel the need to cheat, you shouldn't be married. Big reason why a lot of marriages don't work out in my opinion.
