You guys are such...boys. Do you just want to have sex and drama or do you want to enjoy relationships? Are you so disappointed in yourself that you only want self-destructive experiences. Is your ego so weak you have to protect yourself from rejection? The chicks that go for bad boys are just doing the same thing. If that's what you want, fine, go to bars be an ass, screw chicks you can't stand in the morning's light. That's one way to live. Good luck on finding a happy ending. OK here's my life changing nice guy advice: Smile, say hi. If she smiles back at you, ask her a question. If not, move on. In the ensuing conversation, don't lie, have a sense of humor and don't come on too strong. And Fatty, don't project your feelings about your EX onto every new girl you meet. They aren't her. Don't tell her about your experiences and your kid for a while, you are not looking for pity. Keep it light, positive and fun. There will be plenty of time for heavy **** if something deveops down the road.
damn dubious that is a great response.. you must know alot of women. Fatty I agree be yourself you never want to come off fake but that doesnt mean you need to spill the beans and tell her your whole life story. There is a time and place for everything in the beginning just keep it light and fun without any pressures. From what I've heard about you, you can be quite the chatter! J
Yep, dubious pretty much nailed it. Everyone on here (including me) jokes about how they treat women but I doubt anyone here is really like that in real life. I know I'm not. The 'women love being treated like crap' myth is great if you're looking to pick up a drunk bar w**** for the night, but it doesn't really apply to the majority of normal well adjusted women. It sure doesn't apply to any women I want to be the Mother of my kids.
Being an ass or a jerk will not get you women. Being confident will. If you're an ass to a woman when you first meet her and she talks to you, she probably has issues or isn't a price piece in the first place. I try to be nice, but not to into girls at first. I'm always nice and very cordial, but a little standoffish. The best way to meet women is to hang out with other women. If its not their friends you meet, other women will see you with them and be curious as to why they all like you.
Here's part of an article I found on why women are attracted to the bad boy/******* types. Women on attracted on a gut level to some of the qualities these types of guys embody, but the key is that women are attracted to those certain qualities and not to their behavior as a whole. So, it is possible to exhibit these qualities without being an ass. If anyone is interested in reading the rest of the article, I'll post it up.
A-Train might be on to something there. If you are having some resentment issues towards women, then you might want to get them worked out first before trying to hook up. I had a friend who was a total a-hole to every woman he got in contact with. I mean, every woman, his sister, co-workers, women at bars. I pulled him aside one day and just told him that his a-holish ways suck. Not just because it runs women off, but it just is f'd up behavior. The women don't deserver that. He said had some chick screw him over, and just doesn't trust women anymore. I simply told him all women aren't like that and you aren't ever going to find out how the girl is unless you give her a try. I met you one night at Live, you seem like an alright guy. I just think initially you might need to put up a kind, nice front when you meet the ladies. Even if it is forced in the beginning, it is better than what you are describing here. I have the opposite problem. I am not even bragging at all about this. But I do play the sincere, caring role and girls just seem to get really clingy really fast with me. Now, it will get me sex pretty fast if I want it, but it usually ends up with a girl getting her heart broken or totally pissed off at me in the end when I tell her I don't feel the same way.
Fatty, I think it is admirable that you want to act better towards women. I know you somewhat and I know how much pain your ex has put you through. You definitely have some things to work out. It might be better for you to go out with a guy friend and his wife/girlfriend, and practice being nice to her. After all, it is not like she is available for you to date. It's just a thought that came through my mind - good luck to you.
Date a woman you find is more emotionally tuned to you than on a scale of physical attraction. Either you find nothing because you're an ass who thinks you're a nice guy, or you'll gradually think she's more and more attractive because of how well things are going.
Fatty...be yourself. it seems like you want to treat women good and that you weren't intending to ever have treated them bad...so "yourself" seems to be a guy that does care about how a woman feels more than it seems to be a guy that wants to be an *******. so first, you have to figure out that you truly do want to treat them good and that this is more important to you than being an *******. if you are wanting to treat them good...then find out what that means. they want to know that you appreciate them. they want to know that you care about them. they want a confident guy who can hold up a conversation. they also want........ ........the boner. so give them what they want.
Considering your age bracket and disposition, the only hope you have is putting on some nice threads and heading to The Mens Club with a $1000 in one pocket and a quater bag of Coke or Meth in the other. You should be able to pick up plenty of ladies there oblivious to your emotional shortcomings.
Here's the remainder of that article. Of course, none of this really applies to Fatty's problem, I just thought it was an interesting read since people mentioned that a lot of guys that act likes assh*les get a lot of chicks.
Fatty; It sounds to me like you're not that comfortable around women. My advice is don't stress about being a nice guy or an a--hole and just relax. From my own experience there are times when things are going good and am meeting women easily and there are times when they aren't the key though is to keep an even keel about at both times. Women don't like needy and desperate and if you don't come off that way when you're having trouble meeting women it just makes things harder. At the sametime a lot of women don't like arrogant SOB's and when things are going good and you act like a cocky b*stard that will dissuade a lot of women. But if you can be relaxed and confident when things are both bad and good women will feel more comfortable around you.
Is it just me, or are these corny self-help "How to Get Girls" things popping up all over the place now?
